need2bme Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 I tried to reply before with a long post but wiped it out accidently. I am so tired and that is pure proof of how my life goes. Man, it was so long... Anyway, lets try again... I thank you so much for this thread. We have amazing similarities with our breakups. My GF is Mexican and REALLY close to her family. I am out on the West Coast and my family is on the East Coast. She recently broke up with me a week and a half ago. It was her BDay weekend and we fought one of the days. I guess that she was testing me an I failed. We just got an apartment together in January and I have been contracting in NoCal for the same time. She needs time alone now and that is all she has had this whole time. I miss her terribly and talk with everyone at work about it. I thought I was going to throw up today, numeous time and could not stop the panic. I think they are sick of me talking about it at work. I would have talked to her, but she is not a talker. She cries and clams up. She seems to be able to talk to others, but not me. I then have to guess what she is thinking. I want so much to hold her again. It seems there is nothing I can do now, but wait. I am so pathetic that I called her at 11:30 PM and she did not pick up. As eveyone posts, all it did was make me wonder. She would never go out on before, much less on a Thursday. She was either asleep (but the phone used to wake her up), or just did not want to take the call (more likely). I was calling, because she wrote me a poem for my BDay or something (some time ago) and framed it nicely. I have it here to remind me that "Love is All" (which is the title). Interesting title, as apparently, LOVE is not all. I have deep feelings for her, but I guess I did not show them well. I was working on a longer post at work and thought I brought it home, but did not. I will try to post it here and not jumble my thoughts too much, so that you can get an idea that you are not alone. See? I am still awake and I jumped up to answer my cell phone, hoping it was her. How pathetic is that? There is a lot of water under the bridge. I am working with a Therapist and actually began before I went home for her BDay weekend. Apparently, I must not have listened to the therapy very well, as we are still broken up. I should have never come up here. I should have found a way to make it work and stay down there with her. I miss her so much!!! We were together for 13 1/2 years. I know how you feel. It does not seem that it will ever get better, even now for me....Take care and know that you have someone out there going through the exact same thing....if there is any comfort in that. Well I am off to try and get back to sleep... Link to comment
need2bme Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 bstrong, BTW, my Therapist said it takes about 1 year to get over someone, for every five years together. Man, I hope not. At that rate, it would have been easier to stay with her. I joke...but I am also serious...I know I said it, but I ache to be with her.....how can she be sleeping when I can't. How can the move forward, but we can't. Anyway, I said I would go and I am going...Thanks again for being open and sharing. It helped me alot, but still hurting.... Link to comment
bstrong2day Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 well, today makes it 4 weeks. I still experience the same emotions that I felt the minute she told me "I don't like you anymore". My feelings for her haven't wavered, although they probably should have, considering the lack of respect she showed for me during the break-up. Maybe that was the only way she knew how to do it? It's safe to say I've done a lot of thinking, rehashing, etc. I've had lots of time to ponder things, especially since she didn't give me a reason for the break-up and hasn't contacted me once since. I don't think I'm getting any better. I find it difficult to not beat myself up. The guilt hasn't subsided. In fact, it's gotten worse. I'm my own worst critic. I've learned from my mistakes, and would have done things differently if I could go back in time. But, I can't go back. I think that's the toughest lesson for me to accept. I'm actually in denial. I can't go back and do things differently. I have to learn to live without her, somehow. I don't think I can let go. I still can't picture my life without her. I don't care about tomorrow at all. I'm just trying to make it through each day. Call me pathetic, but that's where I'm at in a nut shell. Still waiting on her to respond to my letter asking her to please send the engagement ring back. For those who don't know my story, I've provided an in-depth analysis of how things played out leading up to the break-up on page 1 of this thread. It may help to read that prior to posting. Link to comment
onayrb Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 Hi bstrong, Hope things are going well for you lately? I've just read the whole thread, mainly because you write well and your thoughts are detailed and well constructed. I hope you get a reply to your letter (with ring enclosed!) soon as apart from (and more important than) the monetary value -it will provide closure and enable you to better draw a line under things and begin to move on. In my overall opinion you should move on -she is not right for you as whatever the real reason behind her leaving was- she should have talked it through with you. It does not reflect well on her that she cannot communicate with you on something so important. Also, cut out the guilt. We all do things wrong and besides you sound like a really good guy. Anyway, guilt is about the past -forget the past and live in the present for the future. Best of luck and I hope you keep this thread up to date whatever happens. Link to comment
bstrong2day Posted June 24, 2007 Author Share Posted June 24, 2007 God, it's been a year and I think I'm about to find myself in the same situation again. It feels as if she's drifting away from me all over again, and I can't figure out why. Trying to get her to talk just pushes her farther away. From what I learned from past experiences, giving her time to cool off has worked, although I've done that, and it isn't working now. We live together. Link to comment
schueysgirl Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Hi bstrong2day....just read your posts now...didnt catch them first time round....are you back with this same woman or with another woman? -x- Link to comment
tdjkris Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 same woman so, you've got second chance, and it is all the same?same issues.... I am in the same shoes, and second time when she broke up with me is much easier..Last time I told my situation to everyone, and begged for second chance, after my sister told me "go for your love" "you love her" "call her" etc.... Now I'm smarter, strictly NC, I didn't tell sister or parents for break up, only to few friends....I know I have enough force in myself. After 1 month or 2, I will say only "It didn't work, and we separated". Good luck, don't be doormat, life is great, don't be stuck with wrong woman. Take care... Link to comment
schueysgirl Posted June 26, 2007 Share Posted June 26, 2007 ok well you gave her that second chance and she blew it. At least now you know and can properly move on...of course its hard but you know you can do it...lesson learned you wont go back to her again and she is disasterous to treat you this way...forget her...you deserve better and you will get through this... "fool me once - shame on you.....fool me twice - shame on me...." Link to comment
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