make him prove himself to you.

[teacup]

does anyone agree with this advice?

 

from my short and limited dating experience. (was in stupid abusive relationship for the longest time)

 

i have learned that the guy has to prove himself. if he's really interested, he'll call me. if he's really sincere, he wont make excuses. if he really cares, he'll ask to see me in advance. if he really wants to, he'll find a way. if he really was for real, he'll contact me. if he wants me, he'll make the time.

 

all i have to do is sit back and say, yes or no, if im interested or not.

 

otherwise, i move on.

[annie24]

yes, I would agree with what you have written. I guess there is a little room for leeway, maybe there is a problem at work or at home and he has to cancel a date suddenly, but in general, I think if a guy likes you, he'll make the effort for you.

[Daddy Bear]

sexism, plain and simple.

[skyblue1]

Yep and that's how it should be.

[DN]

skyblue1 Yep and that's how it should be.

 

 

[teacup]

eh. no way in hell im looking for something right now. but i find it easier to collect my thoughts, my opinions and to get it all together when im not versus when i am.

 

skyblue1, just be yourself. if he doesn't call you or ask you to hang out. move on.

 

u can flirt if u want. touch him on the shoulder. smile. look at his eyes. and if he doesn't. blah. forget it.

[Q10]

sexism, plain and simple.

true that, true that.

[skyblue1]

DN by the way i didn't approach him! I think men should show interest to the lady if they are interested.

[skyblue1]

makes life easier!

[agent1607307371]

I guess it depends on the degree to which you feel he should prove himself.

 

All of the examples teacup give are all things I would expect from someone who wanted to pursue me, but they're also all behaviours I too would engage in.

 

Expecting someone to do all those things and get very little back, thats just a headgame and not something I'm interested in.

[DN]

DN by the way i didn't approach him! I think men should show interest to the lady if they are interested.

 

How quaint.

[Q10]

I guess it depends on the degree to which you feel he should prove himself.

 

All of the examples teacup give are all things I would expect from someone who wanted to pursue me, but they're also all behaviours I too would engage in.

 

Expecting someone to do all those things and get very little back, thats just a headgame and not something I'm interested in.

That's how I interpreted her, she said all she has to do is "sit back and choose". As a man, I felt like a sheep lol

[teacup]

That's how I interpreted her, she said all she has to do is "sit back and choose". As a man, I felt like a sheep lol

 

i think he should show strong interest initially. but later on, it's good to give back and forth.

 

so you are a sheep are you? do you want to be sheered? or better yet, turned into my mutton dinner?

[skyblue1]

The way i see it now is if his interested he will find a way to approach you and thats a fact. I've never approached a guy and i don't think i will. Okay DN fair enough with that post i posted but now i know MEN should show some signs.

[Q10]

i think he should show strong interest initially. but later on, it's good to give back and forth.

 

so you are a sheep are you? do you want to be sheered? or better yet, turned into my mutton dinner?

lol, he should show strong interest? yeah but a lot of girls get scared if a man shows them strong interest so quick. It scares them off..

[teacup]

does that go for men too? if a girl shows them strong interest? do they get bored and move on?

 

men can be so slow. it makes me bored, impatient. Zzzzzz

 

i dunno.....the guys at my office give me chocolates and help me out with my work and lend me their books. i hope their not interested because im not. but i really like chocolate.

[Q10]

does that go for men too? if a girl shows them strong interest? do they get bored and move on?

I'm not sure about the getting bored and moving on part, but we get scared if a girl shows strong interest so soon also IMO.. I know I do.

[teacup]

haha. that's cuz ur a sheep. bahhhhh.

 

im kidding.

[DN]

The way i see it now is if his interested he will find a way to approach you and thats a fact. I've never approached a guy and i don't think i will. Okay DN fair enough with that post i posted but now i know MEN should show some signs.

 

Good luck in expecting that. I hope you will find it works for you and that you don't miss the opportunity of meeting a man with whom you could happily spend the rest of your life because you expected him to make the first move.

 

In fact - you may already have lost him.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I'd be interested to hear some stories from either the men or the women who are currently with the person in a situation where the woman both made the first move, and persued the man, and how is it going? And for how long?

[Q10]

in my situation, the woman made the first move, and showed interest, and then I showed interest back & arranged something, but she couln't make it. So it ended there..

[skyblue1]

Life goes on i guess. Just shows he wasn't that into me.

[Budman]

does anyone agree with this advice?

 

from my short and limited dating experience. (was in stupid abusive relationship for the longest time)

 

i have learned that the guy has to prove himself. if he's really interested, he'll call me. if he's really sincere, he wont make excuses. if he really cares, he'll ask to see me in advance. if he really wants to, he'll find a way. if he really was for real, he'll contact me. if he wants me, he'll make the time.

 

all i have to do is sit back and say, yes or no, if im interested or not.

 

otherwise, i move on.

 

I tend to agree with the other poster. That's rather sexist, didn't women fight for equal rights? Equal in everything?

 

(heh it's be nice to think that anyway)

 

That's a game, you know that right. (and people wonder why I know these things).

 

You can initiate it too.

 

You see that can backfire too, all plans can backfire, I say if you want someone GO FOR IT!

[annie24]

I don't think that teacup is being sexist. there's nothing in her post that says a girl can't make a move if she feels like it.

 

but, in my experiences, when guys are interested, they call, make plans, etc. And when they aren't, there are a lot of excuses and lack of phone calls.

[agent1607307371]

the guys at my office give me chocolates and help me out with my work and lend me their books. i hope their not interested because im not. but i really like chocolate.

 

It sounds like they could be. As a rule, I don't accept things from men I'm not friends with unless I'm interested in them or there is obviously no ulterior motive. Saves hurt feelings later on.

 

 

I don't think that teacup is being sexist. there's nothing in her post that says a girl can't make a move if she feels like it.

 

but, in my experiences, when guys are interested, they call, make plans, etc. And when they aren't, there are a lot of excuses and lack of phone calls.

 

In my experience women do more or less the same. You just have to let go and not put too much importance on it.