Can't stand the pain

[alteer]

I have also posted this in the NC bandwagon but thought I'd start a new topic because I really need some help. I'm having a tough time, and can't stand the pain anymore.

 

Ok it's now 5 weeks since the break up (don't know how many days I've been back to NC, just don't want to think about it)

 

It's just getting harder. I was better a couple of weeks ago and now I'm a complete mess again.

 

I think the reason may be that I'm still holding onto some hope and as time goes on, and the more days and weeks pass, I'm getting more and more depressed that he isn't calling me.

 

I can't stand this feeling any more. It is driving me crazy.

 

I stayed at a friends house on the weekend. The guy is my ex's best friend and his wife and I get on extremely well and didn't want to loose contact because my ex and I broke up (she is my only real girl friend and we can talk about anything). Anyway she was telling me that my ex keeps calling her to see how I am. He has never called her directly before, and only ever calls to speak to her husband, but because he knows that me and her are still in contact he has been calling her all the time.

 

It's like he still wants to keep tabs on me without actually having to speak to me himself. I just don't get it. I'm still very confused. What the hell is he up to? He broke up with me........why does he keep asking people how I am?

[Demond34]

What kind of questions does he ask her? It could be that he still cares about you and wants to make sure you're doing ok, and he may know that by contacting you, himself, that it would lead you on.......

 

I don't know if I would over analyze anything. Stay strong with your commitment. If he really wants to talk to you, I'm sure he knows how to get ahold of you. Keep your head up and that contact you had with him over a week ago, did affect you even though you said it didnt. It made you feel good b/c it put hope back into you. Theres no doubt about it that NC is tough. We're all here behind you, either going thru it or been thru it, so stay positive.

[nottoogreen]

NC, no need to think.

 

It is just logical and reasoanable to request your friends to please not bother you about your ex as you are NC. You could sit down with you best gf and she should understand and respect your situation.

[teacup]

he broke up with you right? well, if he wants to come back, he knows where you are. otherwise, keep on taking care of yourself.

 

i miss him today. i keep wondering what he is doing right now with the long weekend. im such a goober.

[alteer]

I know what everyone is saying and your all right. I have a terrible habit of over analyzing EVERYTHING. The thing is when I break up with someone I don't ask people how they are.........if I break it off then I really don't care that much how they are doing.........(hope that doesn't sound to callous)

 

He keeps asking my friend how I am.......what have I been up to......how are my kids.........am I still upset.........stuff like that.

 

Teacup...yes he did break up with me. And your not the only goober. I know better than this......I really do.........I just can't help it. I feel like crap and this feeling is driving me insane.

[Cute Band Rat]

Alteer, I think your friend needs to stop telling you your ex is calling her. I know she means well, but she's hurting you more. Maybe you should tell her to please NOT bring him up anymore...sometimes talking about it keeps it "alive"...and that is counter productive to moving on with your life. That or avoid her until you feel like you CAN talk about him without it upsetting you.

[alteer]

Your right I probably do need to talk to her. She does mean well.......but your right it's not helping me.

 

I feel like I'm back to square one and I was doing fine a couple of weeks ago. In some ways I feel worse now than I did in the beginning.

 

I really hate myself for letting it get to me like this.

[Demond34]

no need beating yourself up over it, it is only a natural process. It'll get better.