Are there're really couples with no children due to choice??

[bookusworm]

Hi all,

I been here for a while but never posted, and well this is my first time. I was wondering if there are commited or even married couple which, both by choice never wnat children. And I mean truly cuz they don't want any.

 

The thought of having kids is like I were to be carrying a 100 ibs backpack, and the diapers changes, yuck, the crying, so annoying. And you cna really enjoy yourself. Lol, two years ago some friend gave my her ugly puppy to babysit, lol, I had NO patience for it, talk about all the mess it made.

[DN]

My sister had no children by choice. No reason for you to have them if you don't want them - in fact you should not.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Good call DN.

 

If you find you don't have the patience, aptitude, disposition, desire, whatever..... for kids, don't have them ever! or at least until you do have those things.

 

Or you'll end up like me. MISERABLE. Wondering what you ever thought you were doing having kids and destroying their lives...

[ReadyorNot]

Its your life.. if you dont want children then dont have any... but make sure the one you marry absolutely does not want children either...

 

My ex's aunt and uncle do not have children and never wanted children and man are they LOADED!!!

[ReadyorNot]

Ta_ree_saw... why do you say that? Why do you wonder what you were thinking by having kids... How many do you have?

[alteer]

I have an aunty who didn't want children. She's now in her 50's and doesn't regret it at all. It depends on the person. If you know you don't want any.........then don't.

[melrich]

Yes I think there are lots of couples who make the choice to have no kids. I vaguely remember seeing some numbers relative to Australia that said as much as 25% of couples choose no kids.

 

At your age there is no need to lock yourself into a decision now.

[alteer]

Good call DN.

 

Or you'll end up like me. MISERABLE. Wondering what you ever thought you were doing having kids and destroying their lives...

 

Exactly..........

 

I'm thinking of writing a book called 'How to screw your kids up in 10 ways or less'.

 

My son put it beautifully...I never want kids mum because they make mess, they're too noisy and they stink!! And he's only 11. God bless him.

[AwdreeHpburn]

LOL Alteer. Great title for a book.

 

Readyornot - I have three beautiful litlle freaks. They're cute, great an hideous, all at the same time.

 

having kids is NOT for everyone and I wish I would've been told that.

 

So, there's my tip of life for the day.

 

HAVING KIDS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE

[Scotcha]

My aunt and uncle never had any children by choice and they are still very happily married with no regrets. If you don't want kids don't have them!

[FoxLocke]

I absolutely love and adore children. I think they are so cute and sweet...

 

However, I get tired of them really fast and want nothing to do with them after, approximately, an hour.

 

So I keep wondering, "Do I really want to have my own children? Or am I trying to do what society says everyone is supposed to?"

 

Some people have a big thing about carrying on their genes and etc...That really isn't a big deal to me.

 

I don't know. While I like kids I really don't think I want to be bothered.

 

I would rather have cats. They are easy to potty train and so quiet.

 

Plus, I am going into the teaching field(and I plan to write books for kids and young adults), so I think I'll always be around someone else's kids.

 

So don't feel pressured to have kids if you don't want them. The world is over 7 billion people now...We don't need anymore...lol

[yeawutever]

The world is over 7 billion people now...We don't need anymore...lol

 

That's a good one there, yea why more!!! LOL. Anyways Bookusworm you don't have to have kids if you don't want to. I'm not even thinking about that now, it's too much responsibility. In fact my 4 year-old brother gave me a real headache two days ago, I had to drink pills, first time I ever had a headache ever. He's a brat alright, never obeys, that I find myself screaming at him, I mainly leave it to my parents.

[Dako]

I decided at 16 I wasn't going to have kids, and I was married a long time to someone who shared my view. Neither of us has regretted it.

I know other happy childless couples.

[Vacuum]

my.opinion.

 

kids.are.stupid.and.annoying...

they.cost.alot.of.money..

they.will.hate.you.until.they.are.about.20years.old

 

i.think.people.should.figure.themselves.out.first.before.repopulating.the.earth.with.more.morons

[Tigris]

I chose not to have children with both of my husbands but I talked it over with them before we got engaged so there was no misunderstandings.

[Dako]

I envy happy parents, have enjoyed various kids and been attached to a few as an uncle. They can be wonderful. I just don't want any.

[alteer]

I envy happy parents, have enjoyed various kids and been attached to a few as an uncle. They can be wonderful.

 

Ha that's so funny

 

Well I envy happy little families with a mother and a father and a few rugrats.

 

Instead I'm stuck as a worn out working single mother, with absolutely no support.

 

.........I've never really understood sperm banks. There for the purpose of impregnating women without partners. Who in their right mind would WANT to be single parent

[Dako]

Alteer,

 

I don't envy you.

My sis ended up as a single mom, and I took care of her daughter while she worked and went to school.

[alteer]

If anyone did envy me Dako.......they would belong in a padded cell.

[justpaisley]

I know a few couples who don't have children just because they don't want them. When they think they might, they babysit. Changes their mind pretty quick. They're generally the best kind of babysitters, too.

 

As for me, I can think of nothing better in this world than being a mother - a GOOD mother, at that. It's the ultimate fulfillment of my dreams. It's absolutely not for everyone, though... but unfortunately, it seems like the ones it's most "not for" are the ones having them by the bucket-full... like my little sister... but that's for another thread

 

If you're intent on not having children, make absolutely sure you marry someone who is equally intent. My friend was absolutely sure, but married someone who was lukewarm but now wants children, and their marriage is getting a little rocky.

[brownie]

I do agree that kids are not for everyone, they are hard work and alot of time, but they can also bring a light that nothing else seems to bring. my husband and I didnt want to have kids, but know that we both have a career and a "life" we decited to have kids.. but we had to have lots of help.

Its ok if you dont want kids, but make sure you think about it alot you dont want to regret not having them earler

............there is too many kids out there that only want a daddy and mommy of their own............

[FoxLocke]

Also, if you don't have biological children adoption is ALWAYS an option. There are so many kids out there that need good homes!

[RayKay]

I know couples that have chosen not to have children. I think if you don't want them, then don't have them...but make sure that you are your partner feel the same way BEFORE you get married and involved! I have seen a few times one person either denying they want them, or saying they do, and turning around a while later with the opposite desires...

 

I know a couple couples whom actually had planned on NOT having them, but later did choose to have them but they agreed together.

 

I did not want them when I was younger, I too felt it was a lot of work and a big sacrifice. I am a rather independent person, and have a lot of passions and interests for example. But as I have gotten older, I have many friends with children whom still lead very full, active, personal lives and still do all the things they love. They involve their children in those lives, and it's quite great to see. One of my cycling friend couples, whom are very competitive, for example, have all their kids involved in cycling and racing, even their little 3 year old (whom will be the future X-Games star I think!). And, family has become more and more important to me through the years. I know how proud my mum is of us kids and how blessed she feels, despite the hard work, and how glad she is to have us in her life. I also think it is very important as parents to keep your own personhood as well...to not give up whom you are. You can still be a mother/father AND an individual!

 

So, I think I see things through different eyes now, and, for me, a big part of wanting kids was also meeting the right person whom I feel I want to have them with. If I can't have them physically, I would probably still adopt children. For me, I guess I have realized that personally, the hard work is worth it. However, I know many whom feel differently, and that is OKAY too as long as you both are in agreement.

[AwdreeHpburn]

good call Foxlocke and Brownie - speaking of children in need of a good home, I've got three of those myself....

 

totally kidding.

 

There really ARE kids out there in need.

 

I shouldn't be so callous about my own, I do love the little ankle biters, but it IS hard and rewarding all at the same time.

 

I DO think it should be a thought out decision tho. it shouldn't be sumthing one goes about all willy nilly. Like, "oh, I just meant to have sex" kids are needy, dependent and one should be prepared.

 

On the plus side, if there is one, the love of a child is unconditional, don't use it against them. They're resiliant to no end, don't abuse that. Their sponges, moldable and very curious, be careful what you teach.

 

And there's my "preach" for a while....

[FoxLocke]

Honestly, the more I think about it the more I couldn't imagine myself with children....lol. I love them, but I get tired of them so quickly. I don't want to be one of those neglectful parental units!

 

Anyway, there is an organization out there called "No Kidding" for adults who have chosen, consciously, to NEVER reproduce. They get together and just enjoy each other's time...sans the children.

It is hard to be friends with adults who have kids, because their time is always monopolized.

 

I'll be back with the link to that group if I can find it.

 

Update:

 

Here it is....

 

link removed