So is sex really overrated?

[Ross_K]

Thanks, I'd like that.

 

But I bet if I was there you'd just suddenly find me undesirable like all women do. Maybe I don't produce pheremones or something. Or not look like how I do on my photo's and look bad.

[Ross_K]

I guess I'd just have to learn after that happens.

 

But seriously though, I do want to move out and move to a different area.

[shes2smart]

I don't want to just move to some crappy flat in a bad area.

 

I think if you quiz people who are living on their own and have been for a while, most of them will have "one crappy apartment in a bad part of town" in their past. At least one.

 

I think it's just part and parcel of the process of moving out from your parents' home and establishing your own life that you spend some time living with weird roommates in a roach-infested 2nd story 2 BR/1bath (like I did) or a neighborhood where the police are by so often your pet parakeet learns to mimic the sound of the police car siren (yup. that happened, too).

 

But living in places like that gives you some great confidence-builiding experiences. As does establishing a life away from your parents' view and control.

 

I think tylercdurden's on the right track suggesting this:

I am not talking about dating I am talking about getting a job, going to school, playing sports, playing music etc etc whatever.

 

and this:

 

I really think you need to break away from her. I cant be more plain and blunt about it. Nothing else will change unless you do that. All the other stuff is like pulling the top off of weeds. You need to pull out the root as well.

 

You need to get an independent life of your own -- away and separate from your parents/mother -- before you can consider sharing your life with someone else.

[AwdreeHpburn]

lol

 

don't produce pheremones dude???

 

OK - now its just getting silly.

 

Maybe the pheremones you DO produce smell of insecurity.

[tylercdurden2004]

Hah at 29 I get to watch hookers and heroin addicts walking through my back alley. But I love the "edge" of where I live. Seriously go get a flat somewhere maybe some flatmates and just live your life.

[MacGyverRI]

I think if you quiz people who are living on their own and have been for a while, most of them will have "one crappy apartment in a bad part of town" in their past. At least one.

 

We all lived in crappy areas, in my first neighborhood nobody had Grey Poupon NOBODY.... It was terrible!

 

And the gang violence, sheesh those women were brutal always fighting for the tanning lotion at the country club pool!

 

 

Maybe the pheremones you DO produce smell of insecurity.

 

LOL

[MacGyverRI]

Hah at 29 I get to watch hookers and heroin addicts walking through my back alley.

 

Give him the address...

[shes2smart]

We all lived in crappy areas, in my first neighborhood nobody had Grey Poupon NOBODY

 

Uncivilized heathens.

[AwdreeHpburn]

LOL MacGyver.

 

The horror!!

[MacGyverRI]

Does your mother try to tell you how to live your life? Or scrutinize every decision you make? Not to worry, you can still enjoy her endearing traits if you learn how to manage the less desirable ones.

 

Steps:

1. Realize there are reasons why your mother is overbearing and that you won't ever be able to change her. The operative word in this eHow is "deal."

 

2. Work on establishing boundaries immediately. Decide which aspects of your life you won't share with your mother, then remind her when she invades them.

 

3. Learn this phrase and repeat it often: "I love you, but I don't want to discuss that with you." Then change the subject when your mother begins to meddle.

 

4. Consider writing your mother a letter, detailing how you'd like your relationship to evolve (and which aspects can go extinct like the dinosaurs).

 

5. Thank your mother for her suggestions on how to live your life, then move on to more stimulating conversation.

 

6. Strive to seek approval from yourself instead of from your mother. When you're self-confident, your mother's controlling tendencies won't get under your skin.

 

7. Opt for caller ID so you can be prepared for potentially overbearing conversations - or screen the call to measure the importance of her message.

 

8. Try to call her back within a day; controlling mothers are fueled by neglect, and you can avoid possible nagging with a prompt call back.

 

9. Appreciate the fact that someone cares so much about you that they need to call you before, during and after every small event in your life.

 

10. Refrain from any guilt your overbearing mother may try to trip you up with. No one should feel guilty for living their own life.

 

 

Tips:

Ignore the gnawing suspicion that your mother is trying to live her life through you. Even if she is, the urge to control is her baggage to carry, not yours.

 

If your mother persists in knocking down your boundaries, consider seeking family therapy. The relationship may improve in more ways than one.

 

link removed

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[renaissancewoman101]

The first apartment I lived in was a studio apt right accross from the college I was going to. My college was located right at the edge of downtown, bordering the worst area of the city. I lived right accross from some weird nuthouse place, where people would constantly be walking up and down the street, talking to themselves or hiding in the bushes waiting to jump out at you. I still remember one night when my best friend came to visit me after class (I was dating him at that time) and a guy jumped out of the bushes stark naked and scared the hell out of my best friend . There was also a bar on the next street and every so often, I woud hear people getting into bar fights. Oh yeah!

 

Life is an eye-opener.

[annie24]

Including foreplay and everything, did you expect it to be way better than it was when you done it?

 

Is it really that big of a deal? To me it sounds as though it must be amazing.

 

To paraphrase an example from "The Rules," ... you could live your entire life without going on vacation/holiday, but why would you want to? Likewise, you could go the rest of your life without sex, but why would you want to?

 

for some people, vacations are an extremely important part of life, and for others, not so much. Same goes for sex.

 

If you want to procreate, you need to have sex, or at least engage in artifical insemination.

[bleeding_heart18]

If you are expecting awesome unforgetable sex and it ends up being a nightmare sex can be bad, but if both of the partners are good at what they do it can be a fairytale come true!

[MacGyverRI]

To paraphrase an example from "The Rules," ...

 

I'm assuming this is a book? It was too ambiguous in a search

[annie24]

it's a book. for women. not saying it's my favorite book, just that it had a good example.

[renaissancewoman101]

MacGyver, "The Rules" is a book about dating etiquette, like how often should you call a guy, how you should let the guy do the chasing, etc. It was a big hit among the females a few years ago since it advocated letting the guy do the chase and never giving in.

 

I read the book, never really cared for it.

[annie24]

yes, the book is for women, basically on how to get married. like RW said, it went out of fashion a few years ago when the authors both got divorced from their respective husbands.

[MacGyverRI]

how you should let the guy do the chasing.

 

Most guys love to be chased, they were wrong!

[renaissancewoman101]

MacGuyver, I learned from personal experience it is NOT a good idea for the girl to do most of the chasing. It kills off the guy's interest in said girl.

 

Elusiveness is good for a relationship.

[annie24]

hehehe.... i vote for somewhere in the middle! a bit of chasing, a bit of elusiveness....

[annie24]

Most guys love to be chased, they were wrong!

 

well, the book agrees that guys loved to be chased, but they won't necessarily marry those women. the point of the book is not to get dates, but to get married.

[MacGyverRI]

hehehe.... i vote for somewhere in the middle! a bit of chasing, a bit of elusiveness....

 

She's got it, chase him a bit, he gets the hint then he chases back!

[annie24]

well, I'm not married or have a boyfriend, so I guess I don't have it

[MacGyverRI]

well, I'm not married or have a boyfriend, so I guess I don't have it

 

Your only 25, there's still hope....

 

I didn't get married until I was 40

[annie24]

LOL.. There's still hope. that is funny. you write like I'm an old maid and maybe one day, if I'm lucky, i'll meet a deaf, dumb, and blind man who will want to marry me.