ex becoming parasite?

[thursday]

My ex contacted me a week ago telling me she misses talking to me.

Now I unblocked her on MSN & she tells me she doesn't want to state her feelings towards me anymore at all as she doesn't feel like it's necessary for her.

 

Is she just a pathetic parasite who sucks the emotional power out of me when she feels like it & after getting the attention she wants ignoring me and not even telling me she misses me a bit?

 

I feel like a complete moron caring about her so much & getting NOTHING in return. I even feel kind of angry with her, never really felt like being used..

 

She was also dating a guy who's in love with her, though she tells me she feels NOTHING for him at all & believe me, she really doesn't. She even tells her friends push her into giving him a chance with her which she really hates. She doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment.

 

I never really saw her as a parasite, but I guess she's doing this completely unaware. She told this guy to only go have drink as friends.. Is she turning into a parasite? The poor guy is so in love with her and she doesn't see the danger of dating him at all, they do however share same group of friends..

 

She's quit unhappy at the moment. I really want to help her out & support her with all I can give her, but it's extremely difficult for me if she's not even friendly towards me anymore..

 

 

[tylercdurden2004]

She's quit unhappy at the moment. I really want to help her out & support her with all I can give her, but it's extremely difficult for me if she's not even friendly towards me anymore..

 

She lost that option when you broke up. She will continue to suck the emotional life outta you...if you let her. If she will not open up to you then I think you need to block her again. Helping her and being her therapist will do no good. She needs to figure out things on her own by the sounds of it but still wants someone to be her emotional mop. Tell her to go see atherapist if she needs one, thats what they are there for.

[agent1607307371]

She's quit unhappy at the moment. I really want to help her out & support her with all I can give her, but it's extremely difficult for me if she's not even friendly towards me anymore..

 

OK, what you want to do is reblock her and get with a life that has people in it that are good for you.

 

If she's unhappy then she needs to fix that. You can't fix it for her.

 

She is your ex for a good reason.

 

I feel like a complete moron caring about her so much & getting NOTHING in return. I even feel kind of angry with her, never really felt like being used..

 

Do you think this would change?

 

She's getting on with her life. Take it as an example and do the same.

[Jabbe]

I can relate to this and feel that the best thing you can possibly do is to not contact her at all.

 

Trust me.

[thursday]

She says her parents will freak out when she tells them about going to a therapist! She will never even consider talking about it..

 

I think I'm really her only option, maybe I should mail her dad or something.

I already told her I was going to do that one day if she doesn't want to talk about it. She told me she would hate me if I did and that her parents will look at me as an obsessed loser. However if she doesn't contact me in July to start dating again. I will contact her & if she still has the same problems I will most likely mail her dad about it. I don't want her to feel down for the rest of her life even if she's not ending up with me in a relationship!

 

thanks

[stolenshadow]

She has the tools to stop her from feeling down, it's not your responsibility to help her but she wants you to feel that way. She doesn't want help, all she wants is drag you down.

 

What's worse is she wants to control your actions, "if you do this my family will think this and that", don't listen to her.

 

Stop contact and tell her that if she contacts you again with the same "need help" thing you will inform her family.

[thursday]

Hm.. this is really hard. I know it would be better to go into NC for myself, though I will then give her the feeling I don't care about her.

 

I'm doing fine at the moment and she's still not blocked. However when I talk to her she's acting really cold which makes me feel like dying inside. On the other hand I know it's quite understandable she's being that cold. She feels down and it has nothing to do with me I suppose.

 

If she doesn't even try to be a bit more friendly towards me in the next 2 days I will certainly block her again. I don't want to be an emotional trashcan forever.

 

thanks!

[searching1951]

She has "Selfish Bi%ch" tattooed all over her buns. Believe me, I've just been through hell with the queen of self-sbsorbed selfish bi%ches. They will do anything to service their own needs. Tell me, is she a heavy drinker (aka alcoholic?)

[Jabbe]

She's seems just like the last girl I dated. This is not good man. It might be hard, but I really suggest that you cut her off ASAP. Trying to help her may only end up getting you hurt. She has to get over whatever this is on her own, and if not, then so be it. It's not your problem, but you seem to be giving her the benifit of doubt. I really feel like I know exactly what you're going through and don't want you to end up like I did.

 

This is pretty cold and something that's not easy to do, but do not in any way concern yourself with how you may THINK that she may feel about you. The fact that she's cold is a huge red flag, and she will continue being cold. I can't explain it, but it sounds like she only wants to keep you around to fill an empty space.

 

Also, I strongly recommend that you don't interfere familywise. That's her side of the fence. Information like that wouldn't sound right coming from you and you'll definitely damage things even more.

[thursday]

thanks!

 

I have been in a two and half year relationship with this girl and I know her pretty good. Check out my other thread for more information:

 

She's not being cold because she wants to suck the life out of me. I think she's kind of depressed. She told me she was faking her happiness in school in order to not let other people beware of her depressed state.

 

She's doing the same thing towards me. She thinks she's strong enough to fix her problem (bad image of herself) on her own, but she isn't doing anything about it except faking she's alright!

I can't explain it, but it sounds like she only wants to keep you around to fill an empty space.

 

She even suggested I should block her again as I told her I'm taking a huge risk getting involved with her problem & not getting any sign of appreciation (coldness) which makes me feel like ****.....so maybe it's a bit more complicated..

 

Also, I strongly recommend that you don't interfere familywise. That's her side of the fence. Information like that wouldn't sound right coming from you and you'll definitely damage things even more.

 

I think it can't be damaged even more. Besides it can only be a good thing if she's not getting any help otherwise, at least her parents will consider talking about it with her.

[thursday]

I'm going to contact her parents. I'm done with this, she doesn't appreciate my help.. so I will have to take another way to make her happy about herself.

 

I know she will probably hate me for this forever, though it's worth taking the risk if she's getting better. Even I don't know if her parents will look for prof. help. It's all I can do.

[thursday]

I'm NOT going to contact her parents. I feel so guilty and confused. She tells me she's having a problem even more complicated than this selfesteem stuff.

She doesn't want to talk about it & tells me I should respect that.

 

She tells me she will be alright and tell her best friend about it if she feels like it's getting too much for her. Otherwise she will tell her dad.

 

I think these are lame excuses & that she's trying to control my actions..

Though she could be upright about it..

 

So I'm deciding not to contact her parents, she is not alone & will get help from her best friend which she trusts more than me it seems. I feel extremely hurt. Though it's not my problem & it's better I don't contact her anymore at all till she contacts me again. Most likely Never. She's not in my life anymore and will never be a part of it again and I'm going to have to accept that and move on. She kind of said goodbye in a brutally way, she's not worth my attention and was most likely never worth anything of me. (Sorry if you read this. I'm trying to get over you and feel like there's some truth in what I'm writing now.)

 

I will do just fine, it's only going to be very hard in the beginning. I have already made a lot of progress though I forgot about that. I will be fine and feel even better when time passes by without her.

Waw I kind of feel relieved now. Thanks for letting me vent here!

[Jabbe]

You're right. It's definitely gonna be tough. I'm glad you're feeling relieved! Do your best not to fall back because you'd be surprised at how one's emotions can make something irrational seem completely rational.

 

Stay strong!!! Good luck!!!