I'm str8 but in love with my best friend...

[wastone]

I'm a straight (acting...bi actually) teen..but my best guy friends just makes my day.

 

We hang out all the time and sleep together and we are always together...We tell each other we love each other but he doesn't know i'm bi..actually no one does...But he hates gay people...When our eyes look at each we both get a vibe..

 

i dunno what to do...do u?

[melrich]

I'm a straight (acting...bi actually) teen..but my best guy friends just makes my day.

 

We hang out all the time and sleep together and we are always together...We tell each other we love each other but he doesn't know i'm bi..actually no one does...But he hates gay people...When our eyes look at each we both get a vibe..

 

i dunno what to do...do u?

 

What does this actually mean? What is acting bi? I presume you are male?

[LostInMyThoughts]

What does this actually mean? What is acting bi? I presume you are male?

 

I think he means he's acting straight, but is really bi-sexual.

 

----

 

It sounds like your friend might actually be gay; but tries to hide it by pretending to be homophobic.

 

You can tell him how you really feel and risk losing your friendship, or you can continue to try and supress your feelings and maintain your friendship, and maybe he might "come-out" to you.

[melrich]

I think he means he's acting straight, but is really bi-sexual.

 

 

Oh right...of course...Doh!

 

Now the post makes sense.

 

Thanks.

[Jax]

I'm a straight (acting...bi actually) teen..but my best guy friends just makes my day.

 

We hang out all the time and sleep together and we are always together...We tell each other we love each other but he doesn't know i'm bi..actually no one does...But he hates gay people...When our eyes look at each we both get a vibe..

 

i dunno what to do...do u?

 

 

Then your not straight. Maybe you should stop spending so much time with him.

[UT]

It sounds like your friend might actually be gay; but tries to hide it by pretending to be homophobic.

 

You can tell him how you really feel and risk losing your friendship, or you can continue to try and supress your feelings and maintain your friendship, and maybe he might "come-out" to you.

 

I must agree here. Sometimes when discovering something about yourself cam be scary and... well.. sometime we turn an emotion into it's counterpart.. so love becomes hate or anger.

 

It could be an attraction towards you that he's trying to cover or is uncertain about and thinks that you're straight just a very good friend. He wants to keep on being friends with you and hides, through homophobia, his feelings.

 

He could be straight and a really good friend. but using this "homophobic" act to be what often is expected amongst men. but I don't think so. considering that you say you love each other I really don't think he's straight. Tell me, who started saying "I love you"?

 

Even though I don't think so he might be staright and sees you as a brother he loves and we're all wrong. you could try to see how he acts around you and compare it with how he acts with others. If he's more touchy feely with you. then that's a good sign for you. if he acts of treats you in a special way.. maybe more tender. I'm not too good at body language, Jinx knows a lot more than I do about body language.

 

Good luck.

[Jinx]

We hang out all the time and sleep together and we are always together...We tell each other we love each other but he doesn't know i'm bi..actually no one does...But he hates gay people...When our eyes look at each we both get a vibe..

 

Hm, well I've heard guys say, "Love you, bro" or something to that effect but a straight "I love you." I don't even do that with my best female friend whom I've known for what is approaching ten years in the future. We've been known to say things like, "Well I love you too," in sarcasm but that is far as it goes.

 

Personally, I'd be a tad suspicious of the behavior, while I could very well be wrong the homophobia phase is one which I myself went through. I was a severe extreme homophobia case just because I thought if I didn't hide my true sexuality someone would find out and that would be bad, very bad.

 

For men through my observations now, being out and having both bisexual and gay male friends and acquaintances there is that heavily embedded idea that ALL bisexual and gay men are effeminate and are not at all manly. While I personally have a couple feminine acting friends that I love to pieces a majority of the closest are masculine types that women flirt with all the time and wouldn't know any better than the man is gay as they come. So needless to say if he is gay he may feel that he is losing his sense of being male just by the word and baggage that comes with it.

 

Same for when a woman finally comes out as a lesbian, that to a lesser degree carries masculine man hating synonyms that really bother people. I've had people tell me, "Well you don't look like a lesbian..." and it may be the same for him, "Well, you don't look like a gay man. You don't have the talk, the walk, the look..." etc and things people make their prejudice and stereotypical assessments on.

 

Now when you speak of vibe explain this? What is this vibe you feel between you two?

 

Nonetheless, far as the whole body language thought goes you always have things to notice as:

 

*Does he keep eye contact? Do his pupils dialate? Does he keep contact, look away briefly then aggressively hold eye contact throughout the conversation then on? Secondly, how do you keep eye contact?

 

*If you two sit close together how does he respond? Does he move or stay still?

 

*What is the personal space between you two? In casual conversation how many inches, feet, etc.. would you say is there between bodies?

 

*When talking in a relaxed atmosphere what does he do with his hands and feet while you two are chatting?

 

*When speaking, do you two 'mimic' one another such as, if you bring your voice lower does he follow or visa versa?

 

*When speaking, do you mirror one another's actions? Say he moves in forward some, as do you. This is the same with hand gestures, repeating phrases for understanding and agreeing, posture similarities, etc...

 

*When he knows he'll be seeing you is his upkeep any different from those days which you two have 'surprise' meetings?

 

*Do you two touch each other while speaking? I'm talking about hand on the shoulder or leg during emphasis or "I feel for you" points (plus those which appear to be part of a platonic fluid active conversation).

 

*His facial expressions. Does he smile at you, how does he smile. Does he use prolonged facial expression particularly expressive with his eyebrows? Not a facial expression but does he run his hands through his hair or rough it up while talking to you? Does he seem a tad restless yet insists on staying and seems to be enjoying the conversation nonetheless?

 

While he may just be an outgoing touchy person, which is possible even with men, there is a chance he may be gay too. The above questions all pertain to classic flirting and interest signs when combined together and depending.

 

Two of the most important for two gay men that I've noticed personally is eye contact and personal space. Straight men will not usually keep prolonged eye contact with other men unless its an unfriendly or challenging gesture, so while there are exceptions to the rule, usually eye contact is a no thought included way of flirting like several of the other forms are subtle or otherwise. I'd try to keep eye contact with him, keeping in mind how he reacts to the prolonged looks. If he looks away and stays away or comes right back if he leaves your eyes at all. Notice his pupils for changes if you have steady conversation in the same location.

 

Point two, personal space. I like to say, have you ever watched straight men in a crowded elevator? Tension sums it up far as I can tell. Shoulders will only collide if absolutely needed, some men will just forego a busy elevator because of it being crowded. Two gay men usually have a sense of personal space more similar to women. There isn't the threat or need for 'If I get near him people will get ideas' thing. There also seems to be a decreased amount of personal space and more touch. Again, exceptions every where but this seems to be a general rule of thumb. When standing and talking casually it may be who of you to guess how many feet are between you. If you take a small step forward, how does he respond? Stay still, move back, or move closer in to you.

 

With an individual who isn't out and more importantly if in the homophobic stage, the brain and its subtle gestures will give them away. Attraction and flirting isn't always a person driven thing as much as we'd like to believe its an acquired skill. Its natural in several aspects, its just the perfection and honing that we acquire but the raw signs will always be there. It may take awhile to really get down watching and looking for such signs. I've always told people that if you can get your hands on a good in depth book about Love and Body Language it will do you a world of good. Best part is, what is good for straight flirting is good for the gay portion too, signs are pretty much similar for straight men and gay men, straight women and lesbians, as I see it.

[The Evil Stig]

If you actually sleep together as in, the same bed when not absolutely necessary, and you say you love each other on a anywhere near regular basis and not completely drunk, or in a truly joking way...

 

...then you're both completely gay.

 

Straight guys just don't do that stuff. I'm not homophobic or uncomforatble around guys or anything like that. But I would never even consider doing ANY of that stuff.

 

The only time I am in a bed with another male is when there are no other beds, its a big bed, and they are usually family, ie. brother. And we are on way opposite sides of the bed and complete ignorant to each other. I don't care if we touch a little, but we damn well ain't cuddling.

 

And the only way 'love' comes up with friends is in a seriously joking manner. Like as in just to be dumb and yell something yelling "I'm in love with you man!" and everyone laughs. Usually done in the context of someone being called gay or someone being scared of gays.

 

So if you said what I think you said...

 

...you both are totally flamingly gay.

 

So go get him and out of his shell and have some buttsecks, you know you want to.