Ross_K Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Do you find it hard coming onto this site? I do, there are times when I do find it to be quite painful coming on here, but for some reason, it's hard to keep away completely. Link to comment
Beyondthesea Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Here's the truth: You are NOT unsuccessful with the opposite sex Ross, you are unsuccessful with handling yourself. You are doing the best you can in your life right now. You are working on yourself, and that should be given first priority instead of trying to find a girlfriend. Trust me when I say, most people who have a gf/bf normally are annoyed with them 3/4 of the time anyhow. You can find a girlfriend when things are more stable in your life. Then you will be able to be part of a meaningful relationship and make it work. Right now you are not capable of doing so unless you work on some of your own problems first. You need some self esteem. That is a nice picture of you, there's nothing wrong with how you look. If you repel women, it's because your attitude is not good. I wouldn't know, I've never met you, but that's what it appears to be. There's someone for you. There's someone for everyone. You'll find her when you are ready! Peace brotha! Link to comment
alteer Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I don't find it hard coming here at all. Actually I find it difficult to tear myself away. It's cathartic to write about my own experiences and to read those of other people.....I find it comforting. Link to comment
Ross_K Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 I'm not too sure if I have bad self esteem, I like me. As for my picture, yes it's nice but photo's can be deceptive, there's plenty of bad ones of me as well. You're unsucsessful with the opposite sex though right? What about all the sex topics, and people talking about their SO's, doesn't it ever get you down? Link to comment
quietgrl Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Well most men aren't interested in me because my views on sex and me wanting a LT relationship.I haven't met a man yet who wanted sex with a commitment or wanted to be in a long term monogamous relationship with me.Most of the men i've met wanted casual sex and wanted to talk to me and talk to other women.Online men are the worse Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I'm in the same boat too. Feels like i've been single forever (4 years) I would love to have a boyfriend instead of men wanting casual sex. I agree with you quietgrl was on online dating myself and it seems every man i meet wants to get in my knickers. Ross K do you go out much with friends? Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 and Ross k your a good looking man! Just don't understand why you haven't had anyone. Link to comment
Ross_K Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hey thanks, I just had a look at your piccy and you ain't too bad yourself. I've moved to a new area and don't really have anything in common with the people round here so I haven't really got friends at the moment. I used to have loads though, and obviously met a lot of girls through them, but it didn't make any difference. Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Well i know a good site you can go on and it's helped me find lady friends and there are men on there too looking for friends. check it out link removed. Good luck ! x Link to comment
Ross_K Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Okay thanks, I'll check it out. Link to comment
quietgrl Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 skyblue1, I'm trying to hold on but i'm starting to lose faith in almost all men.I've been bruise by men online and offline men.Nobody gives me the time of day.So i just jeep to myself. Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Oh no quietgrl don't lose faith darling. Maybe we need to show our face more to the world. Fingers crossed there is a special someone out there for us and you ross. Link to comment
Ross_K Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 skyblue1, I'm trying to hold on but i'm starting to lose faith in almost all men.I've been bruise by men online and offline men.Nobody gives me the time of day.So i just jeep to myself. Hey I give you the time of day. You sound really down. Oh no quietgrl don't lose faith darling. Maybe we need to show our face more to the world. Fingers crossed there is a special someone out there for us and you ross. I hope so hun. Link to comment
Dako Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Online men are the worse Well, I guess I'll log off. Ross, I can't imagine what you do to keep woman away, but I suspect you come accross the same as online. I always thought women found me disgusting, and projected that to them by cynical and defeatist beahavior. I still do that, but learned how insulting that is to women who like you. It's hard to like someone who gives up on themself. You can change that, but you have to let go of the comfort of your role as a loser. It's hard to crack out of it. Link to comment
Ross_K Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Well, I guess I'll log off. Ross, I can't imagine what you do to keep woman away, but I suspect you come accross the same as online. I always thought women found me disgusting, and projected that to them by cynical and defeatist beahavior. I still do that, but learned how insulting that is to women who like you. It's hard to like someone who gives up on themself. You can change that, but you have to let go of the comfort of your role as a loser. It's hard to crack out of it. The fact is though I always thought even attractive women would find me attractive, but it didn't make any difference. Like I said before though whether it was just purely logical thinking and I didn't actually 'feel' that deep down and 'felt' that women wouldn't be interested I don't know. Link to comment
quietgrl Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Skyblue1, It's too late i'm losing faith with almost all men now.I don't believe there is a nonreligiuos man out there who believe in what i believe in.Sex with a commitment via lt relationship or marriage.So i'm forced to be alone and a virgin.I'm just frustrated with people especailly with men Link to comment
novaseeker Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Well, there *are* men out there who are interested in LTR and possibly marriage. It sounds like you are meeting the wrong people. Have you examined your criteria to see if they would tend to lead you towards men who are less interested in LTRs and more interested in casual sex, for example? Link to comment
quietgrl Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 novaseeker, It's so bad with men.People are telling me to date religious men and I'm Nonreligious.What i'm doing is just staying by myself.This is my 2nd time staying by myself.I'm tired of it.i'm tired of meeting men who lie to me.I want to meet REAL men for once. Link to comment
onmyownagain Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hi, I am not religious but believe in long term relationships and I am married, so are a lot of people I know. In fact most people I know (who are grown ups) are either married or in LT relationships so I shouldn't worry. Perhaps things in California are not the same as here in the UK. Perhaps you should move Link to comment
Momene Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 Back to the original question, I was about your age when my luck changed, so you don't have to be unsuccessful all your life. Remember that there are some beholders out there for you if your heart is open. Link to comment
Ross_K Posted May 14, 2006 Author Share Posted May 14, 2006 My heart is open, it's just finding these beholders, if there are any. Link to comment
Momene Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 My heart is open, it's just finding these beholders, if there are any. They are all around. You can meet them with a chance conversation at a bus stop, the new girl at work. I have to admit myself, I've never been too successful "pulling" at clubs and pubs but I've often just got into a normal conversation with a girl, decided we liked each other and arranged a date. OK, I do have the advantage of being tall and I do look young for my age but there's nothing striking about me. Link to comment
Ross_K Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 Having a conversation with a girl at the bus stop or any other similar situation to that never happens to me. As far as work is concerned, yeah, it's happened, I've never really thought of asking them out though, maybe I should do that next time if we have a good rapport. Link to comment
quietgrl Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 onmyownagain, I just don't have any hope for men any more.Sorry!.Everybody tells me to stick my neck out and when i do.All the men wanted casual sex except one man.I haven't found a nonreligious man yet in his 30's who want sex with a commitment. So this good true woman is going to be alone for the rest of her life. P.S No more men from the UK.I chatted with 2 men from the UK and they done me wrong big time.NO WAY.All they wanted from me was casual sex.NO WAY sorry Hi, I am not religious but believe in long term relationships and I am married, so are a lot of people I know. In fact most people I know (who are grown ups) are either married or in LT relationships so I shouldn't worry. Perhaps things in California are not the same as here in the UK. Perhaps you should move Link to comment
CluelessGuy321 Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Ross ur a pretty good looking guy. And ur british. So many things 2 ur advantage Link to comment
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