So he's not "Seeing anyone else" BUT....

[kimmypoo0214]

So just a little update to my last post...for those of you who didnt read it I'll fill you in quickly. I've been dating a guy who lives in another city but is moving to mine this weekend. We've been seeing each other for 1 month and a half (visiting each other and emailing, etc.) I went to see him last weekend and his roommate called me by another girls name so i was asking what i should do. So what I said to him last night on the phone was "I;ve kinda gotten the impression that you're seeing other people and I just want to make sure we're on the same page" To which he replied "No, I'm not seeing other people but I went on a date with someone" and that was it...I said "Okay I just wanted to make sure we;re on the same page" and then he let me go by saying he'd call me on Friday or Sat. to let me know when exactly he'll be getting into town. I';ve got to admit I'm really confused now...what do you guys think? Is he playing games with me?

[Arrowsmith]

Kimmypoo, it's time for some rigorous relationship definitions. No "dating" vs. "seeing each other" vs. "being boyfriend/girlfriend". These phrases mean different things to different people, and some guys will hide behind that ambiguity.

 

If you feel it's the right time, you should have a talk with him: not about "are we dating or seeing each other?" but "which specific BEHAVIORS are we going to engage in with each other and which are we going to engage in with other people?"

 

You should not agree to have sex with him unless he agrees to forgo sex with other people.

[Dregnought]

Perhaps it was just a simple mistake. Some people (my dad espically) forget peoples names easily. Somehting like 'Kate' when her real name could be 'Alex'.

 

However, 'I went on a date with someone' sounds odd... find out about what happened.

 

And whats the real reason hes moving?

for you? (is he moving in?)

work?

family?

other?

 

Good luck.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I can see why you're a little confused. Is he moving to your city because of you? Or something else? If for some reason you had thought you were exclusive, I would think it would be reasonable for you to wonder. Otherwise, you might wonder when he goes back home for a visit, if he's seeing someone else. He really didn't clarify for you that he didn't plan to see anyone else, when you provided him with the opportunity to do so. So if you can conclude that this means you two are not in an exclusive relationship, then I guess that you could feel free to also see other men. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing.

[btbt]

Ask him for more details about his date? Why did he go on a date with someone else? Did you both have the understanding that you'd date other people? Time to clarify. Obviously, his going on another date bothered you and is not where you want the relationship to be, so be upfront with him and find out if he will give you the level of commitment you want.