is just me?

[xtina75]

Could someone please tell me if they are dating someone with strange hobbies (ok at least i find them strange). My BF is into paranormal research and likes those Ren fairs, etc. I say to each his own but these hobbies are not my idea of a good time and I don't know if it's worth ending a 10 yr relationship over. We are supposed to get married and he told me if I have issues with his hobbies I need to accept him or maybe he is not the right one for me. He is a great man and very good to me but sometimes I feel like we are on completely different wavelengths. Like he's happy chasing ghosts and I'd like to go for a bikeride. He doesn't force his hobbies on me but he wants my support. But I dunno, I find it all really silly and maybe we need to be with people with similar interests. Anyone?

[Iceman26]

Well, I think that people in a relationship need to have their own interests, as well as having interests together as a couple. Do you guys have interests together?

[Goodfun88]

I think its normal for each person in there relationship to have there own interests. Have you ever tried getting involved in some of the things he's interested in? You might find that you enjoy them, or at least can tolerate them. My boyfriend is into Hondas and skateboarding (he's 29, haha!). I humor him by going to skateboarding events and stuff and I realized its actually pretty fun to watch. If everything else in the relationship is good and you can deal with his hobbies, I'd say stick it out! Good luck!

[ShaKe__]

It's normal to have different interests,you can't have everything in common.But since you've been so long together you are a great match! Don't worry about it.

[xtina75]

I guess one of my hobbies is worrying...I have tried joining him but walking around cemetaries at 4 a.m. is a little freaky. It's funny...kind of. But this is definitely something I need to accept so we can move forward. At least he is not at strip clubs, right?

[Dako]

For a long relationship, I think it's vital to have different interests so you aren't joined at the hip. Otherwise, what can you talk about? You each need to gather new material to keep things lively, and that's harder if you do everything as a unit.

[Scout]

Have you made a real concerted effort to at least learn & participate in his hobby a few times? My boyfriend is really into electronics and science, topics that the very idea of previously were of no interest to me. And, I have to say the electronics stuff still isn't that much. But last night he made us watch a documentary about fractal geometry. I was hardly enthused at the prospect, but 15 minutes in, I was riveted (it helped that David Gilmour from Pink Floyd composed the soundtrack, lol).

 

You might find if you check some of this stuff out, you could have enough of an interest to share his hobby with him occasionally, without having to participate 100% of the time.

[renaissancewoman101]

Cool, that he likes Ren Faires. Otherwise, seriously, it is good that you guys have different hobbies that you are into. That helps to bring variety into the relationship so you can have stuff to discuss. Also, it would be good if you would give his hobbies a try to see if you can learn to "like" them in a limited way, like go with him to a Ren Faire to see what it is like, etc. He should also go biking with you on occasions to see how that is like. When I was dating my ex, he knew I like to travel and do yuppie things like go out to eat, shop, and he would do stuff like that with me. I also gave his hobby (computer gaming ) a try but I wasnt really into that though. We both did share in our love of Ren Faires.

[Scotcha]

Hey now, I like Ren Faires, I go every year! My boyfriend, he likes role playing, cacti and Magic. (The card game.) We both enjoy doing these things with each other now too.

 

Everyone has their own little quirks, it's what makes people unique. Like other's have suggested why not give them a try? It might be fun and bring you closer together but if you don't like it, having separate interests is healthy in a relationship.

[Momene]

I'm a keen astronomer and it bores the pants off my wife and daughter. They don't mind me popping out for half hour or so on a clear night and the odd event but with hobbies you need to make sure you're not excluding the rest of the family too often.

[xtina75]

In complete sincerity, could you guys please explain to me the appeal of Ren fairs? I've heard the appeal from a guy's POV but would love to know from a woman. Do you go to battle too?