2 Month update, Help please!

[metal999]

You can read my past posts to see what I'm talking about here but I'll give everyone a brief overview.

 

Well my girlfriend of 5 years broke up about 2 onths ago, she initiated the break up. Her reasons for leaving were that we didn't get to spend much time together and that I was always making her angry.

 

Now not to say I don't do idiotic things every so often but I was a great boyfriend to her and I know I was and she even acknoledges that fact. But anything that she was angry at me for she would never tell me about it or let me know that she was angry, even when I would ask her if everything was going good and is there anything that she wants to talk about blah blah blah.

 

Well we were still talking the whole time and all she kept saying was that she wants some space to do her own thing(she's 22, I'm 27) and that she got freaked out a little when we were supposed to get a place together. She says she doesn't want to end up like her parents and be divorced.

 

I was ok with that and said that she can have all the time she needs because I love her and want nothing more then for her to be happy, I don't like it but I have to live with it.

 

We talked pretty much the whole time we were broken up, and everything seemed to be good, at one point we had a really good talk and it seemed like we worked everything out and we were going to get back together. Well that went up in a big puff of smoke.

 

Now the latest news...

 

Last weekend I had plans to go out on my first date with another girl(nothing serious, just friends) but I decided to go out with my ex instead. Well we had drinks at her place and then went out to a bar for more, talked, laughed like we always have togther and really just had a good time together. After the bar a small group of us went back to her place and contiued to socialize and have fun until the wee hours of the morning. Her and I were the last two awake and I decided to crash on the pull out couch. She decides to put her two friends in her bed and crash on the pull out with me. I promptly went to sleep as much as I wanted to hold her I didn't.

 

She wakes me up a few hours later and she's all horny, so we end up having sex and laying there talking for a bit, then we fell back asleep. Again she wakes me up and again we have sex, and once again we lay there talking and laughing as we always do. We talk for awhile and then have sex again, and again we lay there talking and laughing.

 

We got up in the late afternoon and spent the day together just laying around watching T.V and talking. I leave in the early evening as she had to work and before I go she kisses me goodbye on the lips and tells me to call her.

 

So I call her the next day and I go over for coffee and we continue to talk and then she tells me that she still wants to do her own things and that we're not getting back together.

 

So now I sit here feeling like a piece of meat and wonder what the hell I should do.

 

I'm lost, I miss her so much and for the one day that we spent together I felt like my old self again and was happy for the first time in 2 months.

 

Any advice would greatly be appreciated

 

Thanks for listening, I hope it's not too long of a story.

[heloladies21]

For you, you wanna tell her you either wanna work towards a serious relationship or nothing at all because you're not interested in this inbetween thing. It will just end up hurting you 100x worse in the end if you just go along with it because truth is that no girl will turn a bed buddy into a serious relationship on her own. And if she doesn't agree, time to go into No Contact and move on, otherwise you'll never get over her and keep chasing after her for a long time till she finds someone new.

[Frost271]

man that sucks dude! I mean you get laid, you expect to get back together, and BAM she plays you. Thats not right at all.

 

I agree with the above poster. Confront her about it and figure out what she wants. Otherwise shes just going to continue mind-fu*king you and your going to keep being the one with the broken heart.

[Hope75]

I think you need to be direct with her and tell her that by sleeping with you she is sending very mixed messages. Then I would not put myself in a position to sleep with her again unless she clearly states that she wants to try and work things out. I hate to say it but it kind of sounds as though she had a itch and you were the one she had to scratch it.

[mikeca]

hope is right...my ex wanted to be "bed buddies" but I knew I couldnt just take that..I'd think "yeah I'll make passionate love like we used to and she'll fall for me again" but that wasnt the case and I knew it. So I ended that and I know it was a good decision.

[Fishey]

that would be hard, i know that if my ex wanted to have sex with me i could not turn it down even though i would realize how much more it would hurt when she moves on. good job mike i know i couldnt have done that. as for the OP i would just tell her once more how it is. Either you want a relationship and want to make it work or you want NC, let her decide from there. If she wants you and you two are supposed to be together then it will work out either way. good luck, i feel for ya

[Torchbearer]

Must be in the air. I had the exact same thing happen almost to a tee, one week ago today. Mine was at the 3 month mark and like you said I felt alive for the first time in ages. She too told me that she had no intentions of us getting back together.

 

I've been absolutely miserable the last week.

[metal999]

Well I wrote her an email basically saying if I was such a great guy and a great boyfriend to her, and that we got along so well together then what the hell was the problem.

 

I ended it saying either you care about me and love me and want to be with me or we're done and to please never contact me again.

 

I feel much better after sending the email as I feel I'm holding some of the cards now. We'll see what happens but I can say one thing, even if she decides to come back there's a good chance I'm not going to be there anymore.