shame on me once...

[cansomeonehelp]

So here is the deal. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months. We didnt really know eachother before we started dating, but we hit it off really well. To make a long story short, three months into our relationship, i was drinking at a party (something i usually do not do) and I cheated on my boyfriend with another guy. I didnt have sex with this other guy, but we were touchy feely if you get my drift. I know nothing gives an excuse for what i did, i actually have never cheated on anyone in my life, but i was very under the influence and wasnt thinking straight. I was very surprised and lost a lot of respect for myself, bc i love my boyfriend very much. I have not told him, even 5 months later what i have done. The reason i have not told him, is because im very assamed of myself, and i know i will NEVER cheat on him again. I actually dont even drink or party anymore. I also know that if i tell him, he will break up with me, no questions asked. At first i thought it would be best just to end things, since im kind of giving him a false representation of myself, but then i have convinced myself that it will never happen again, and since im sure of that, there is really no point in telling him, since he will end things. I need to know if what I'm doing is wrong or not. I know that cheating on him was horrible. My question is, do i tell him, knowing that he will break up with me, or do i just let things go as they are, knowing i will never make that mistake again. Any input would be great. Thank you

[zpivat]

If he means to you that much, then don't tell it.....

 

But PROMISE to yourself that it shall NEVER happen again....

 

Alcohol sucks....that's why I never touch it.

[itsallgrand]

Well, it really depends on what you can live with yourself.

 

It would be wrong, In MY OPINION, to leave him bc you can't stand the burden of knowing you cheated. That would be very mean. That's just how I feel. If you were to leave him; you should at least give him the honesty and fess up beforehand. Give him the chance to express himself and tell you how he feels.

 

If you decide to keep this to yourself, you know it will be a burden. Can you live with it? There will always be an element of dishonesty in the relationship. There will be a 'secret' that prevents the two of you from becoming as close as you could. The intimacy would suffer in a way.

 

On the other hand, if you truly know you will never do it again (perhaps you care for him more now), it may be in your interest to not say anything...but, eeks, .

 

You know what? I think you should just fess up.

 

Choose the right situation to do it. That's all.

[RandomAdvisor]

I wasn't really sure what to think, but I always love to check background.

 

Based on your previous post, I think you should dump him. Given the timeline you present in that thread, I'm guessing that you cheated on him around the same time he started belittling you, right?

 

You can leave him, and after you do you'll discover that you're better off without him.

 

Are you away at your first year of college? Years from now you'll take about this guy as being "the jerk I dated freshman year."

[busterkeaton]

I haven't read the other post (as another poster suggested) so I can give you a straight answer to the immediate question. My advice: Dont tell him. You screwed up, it could have been worse but wasn't. Demon alcohol. It happens and know you know. If you tell him then he may leave you and hate you. Do you want that? If you are truly remorseful then that's enough. Forgive yourself and move on. It sounds like you've beat yourself up enough about it, ruining your relationship over this may be more punishment than you deserve. Besides, for sure it will hurt him.

Dont tell, and promise yourself to watch it in the future. LIfe is for learning from mistakes right?

[Phoenix69]

Don't tell him. But be prepared for the fact that he may find out by some other source, which in the long run will be MUCH MUCH worse for you!

[yeawutever]

If you're so sure not to ever put yourself in a situation where you can cheat, then DON'T tell him, just don't do it again. Might as well never drink or party again. Keep that a secret, telling at this point after 5 months will do nothing.