In Love With My Ex, Dating Someone Else

[PerfectNobody]

Okay so i went out with this guy for 8 months and I'm literally in love with him. Well we broke up just because we can never be around each other. It's been 2 months now but we still talk and he still calls me all the cute names he used too and I still flirt with him. I'll admit it, I'm not dumb, this guy could have me again in a second if he asked me.

 

But here's the problem. I have a boyfriend, who's very sweet and very respectful of me.

 

So what do I do? I mean I keep thinking about my ex all night and I still have dreams about him. Not to mention we've slipped and said some not so appropriate things to each other. Although, at the time, it felt perfect. But I feel like I'm cheating on my new boyfriend, and I dont want to be. It just sucks because I know I'm in love with my ex and I'm dating to try to move on in some way, but it's not working to great.

 

Besides that.. I havent had sex in a year and 3 months now. Which really sucks. My new boyfriend is definitely against it and I'm okay with it. But my ex is definitely a temptation. I mean, he's hot and sweet and definitely my best friend of all time. So what do I do. During the day, when its just me and my boyfriend, nothing matters but him. But at night when I'm left alone to think and my ex calls to talk like we always do, because we tell each other everything, it's him I'm thinking about. I'll post some lyrics on here, and it matches what I'm going through perfectly:

 

"Lips Of An Angel"

 

Honey why are you calling me so late

It's kinda hard to talk right now

Honey why are you crying is everything okay

I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

 

It's funny that you're calling me tonight

And yes I've dreamt of you too

And does he know you're talking to me

Will it start a fight

No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those wordsa it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

 

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

(And I never wanna say goodbye)

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

Honey why are you calling me so late

 

[Perfect Nobody]

[Cadence308]

You are not physically cheating on your current boyfriend, but you are emotionally since you are thinking and longing to be with someone else. You are still in your teens and trying to figure things out so it's not like you are in a marriage or anything, but you wanted to know if you are cheating and the answer is yes.

 

It sounds like you still have a great friendship with your ex and it sounds like you two are still very much attracted to each other. The best advice I can offer is break it off with the guy that you are currently dating because you are not as into him. Then you will be free physically and emotionally to either date your ex or have sex with him.

[Randolf]

I think you should either finish your current boyfriend, try and make it work with your ex or get rid of him altogether.

I've just broken up with my girlfriend after 2 months and she was having an ex round to her house every Friday and he would sleep over, she was also in touch with two other exes on the phone and I didn't like it one bit.

If you're still in love with your ex it's not really fair to your current boyfriend who no doubt trusts you and has no idea you have these feelings for your ex, imagine how hurt he'd be if he found out.

On the other hand, maybe you just need to give yourself more time to get over your ex before you're fully able to move into a new relationship with your current.

You said you broke up with your ex because the two of you couldn't be around each other and if you got back together would the situation still be the same?

Your new boyfriend sounds like a decent guy and if he treats you with respect and is kind to you, I think that's something a lot of people (myself included) would be happy to find in a partner.

Hope this helps.

[PerfectNobody]

That's definitely my problem. If Josh and I got back together, it'd be the same again and we'd be about to kill each other and were both aware that it'd not only destroy any feelings we may have for each other but our friendship as well.

 

As for Michael, we just started dating and it's getting easier for us to trust each other. We're in that beginning stage, where everything is new.

 

[Perfect Nobody]

[evy38]

I'm a big believer in moving on from an EX and part of that involves meeting and dating new guys, but that happens in CONJUCTION, with letting the EX go and not continuing an emotional relationship with him. This would be especially true if I was seeing a new guy exclusively. At the very least your behavior, with old guy, is disrespectful to new guy. How would you feel if either of these guys were having the same kind of relationship with another girl?

If you know the relationship, with old guy, won't work then it is pointless and painful to drag it out like this. You guys are using each other, for reasons of your own, as well as people who care abot you like new guy. Equally important, hanging on to this is preventing you from developing feelings for the new, equally deserving, guys you are meeting.

[PerfectNobody]

I'm definitely agreeing with you evy. In a way I suppose were using to each other but the problem is that we're best friends. He understands me more then anyone else. He can calm me down like no one else out there and wether I like it or not, love is real and when its true love, u cant turn it off with a flick of lightswitch. Although I'm trying to turn that love into stictly my friend. He's trying to respect it and do the same thing for both our sakes. And I'm opening up to Michael more, slightly moving on. I'm just wondering if I should move on from my true love

[evy38]

I'm definitely agreeing with you evy. In a way I suppose were using to each other but the problem is that we're best friends. He understands me more then anyone else. He can calm me down like no one else out there and wether I like it or not, love is real and when its true love, u cant turn it off with a flick of lightswitch. Although I'm trying to turn that love into stictly my friend. He's trying to respect it and do the same thing for both our sakes. And I'm opening up to Michael more, slightly moving on. I'm just wondering if I should move on from my true love

No, you are right. We can't turn our love off like a light switch. But, I don't think we can turn it into friendship either, at least not until we are far enough away from the relationship that the love has died. I'm just afraid that your continuing this with your EX is preventing you from forming bonds with new guys. The reason old guy knows you so well, is because you let him get to know you so well. As long as you continue to have him to meet these needs, what motivation do you have to allow other guys in? None. So you rely on old guy to meet your emotional needs and don't allow new guys a chance to build relationships with you, what happens when old guy meets a new girl and devotes himself to meeting her emotional needs? You are left out in the cold. Don't do that to yourself. It's chilly out there!

[bobo85]

I'll admit it, I'm not dumb, this guy could have me again in a second if he asked me.

 

You aren't ready for a relationship right now. The fact that you are willing to leave your your current bf for your ex-bf in a heartbeat is not a good sign of commitment and you should definetly end it with Michael now. The longer you wait to breakup with Michael the harder its going to be on him. So do Michael and yourself a favor and just end things. You need to be single for awhile so you can get over your ex-bf. You said yourself that things wouldn't work out with your ex-bf so you have to do NC on him and maybe your new ex-bf.

 

good luck

bobo