Friendship Problems - trust

[Paul_09]

I posted on these forums a month ago or so that i had feelings for an older women (38 and im 18 ). Well since we have become close as friends as she needs honesty, as she looks at things closely she knew i was keeping from her.

 

I do all i can to make her happy, and put her first, so she discovered that i had feelings for her. She has worked alot of this out and shes says shes fine with the idea that i like her. She has also said that she likes me alot but only as good friends.

 

So its obvsiosuly talked about at work,

 

One member of staff told the lady in question that it was obvious that i had a crush on her and she acted as if she didnt know, and asked what she should do about it, he said maybe to just keep ur distance from him for abit.

 

A close friend of hers also says that its obvious, and she thinks its just because I want all the attension that she gives me, and thats why i "like" her and maybe that i just have nothing else to do.

 

So i went round her house last night and this comes up in conversation, The lady i have strong feelings for says shes heard all ive written above and thinks its true. That im not attracted to her and just want the attension she gives me.

 

Its a hard situation as ive let her down a couple of times before and she seems to forgive me, and shes said she doesnt feel anything for me now but could in the future. She does genreally treat me pretty badly but i love her so much. Im always thinking about her.

 

Just dont know what to do for the best, the fact she doesnt trust me caused my to leave quickly last night, and she thinks this is childish.

 

All i want is for her to be happy, and she knows that i make her happy, as good friends. I love her so much, but she is certain i just like the attension.

 

A find thought, i saw her kissing her guy the other day and it almost killed me, i just had to go away.

 

Any ideas on how i can improve the situation?

[Sn0man]

You're going to hate my answer to your question: Get older.

 

At your age, you should not be even thinking about dating someone fast approaching 40. You like older women? So do I, but there's a limit. Especially when your age starts with a 1. Not a possible, plausibe, or conceivable situation. your infatuation with this woman is purely fantasy, and will pass with time, but hear me out, won't happen, so stop dwelling on it.

 

If you're into the older ones, you should be looking for no older than 25. that is the limit, my friend. Take my word for it. I'm guessing you're probably 18....let me know if i'm wrong.

 

Like her, love her. It's all good. Don't expect anything to come of it though. Forget her will be better. -- You'll meet someone else.

 

Truth hurts, but that's why you're here.

 

Sn0man

[Paul_09]

Im 18 yes.

 

Well its not that i genreally go for older women, all people in the past have been under 20, but i knew the answer i was going to get. Shes says to me if you were 5 years older than the situation would be different.

 

I just cant imagine my life without her in it, we spend about 5 nights a week together, for the last 6 months.

[k2004myway]

Man, you two are in entirely different stages of life. You're entering into the age of self-discovery if you're leading a normal life. She's well beyond that and in a stage where she's beginning to think about her legacy. Plus, she's probably at the point in life where she's realized that she really doesn't know all that much. You're still in the age range where you think you know how everything works (I've been there and I now realize that I'm not so smart at 31 years old). I agree with the first response: get older. I bet you're attracted to her maturity, down to earthness (it comes with age) and emotional stability (it comes with age). Those things will come to someone with time and effort, even someone your age.

[Diggitydave]

you're going to hate my answer too. dude you're 18 and you have a lot of things in life to learn ahead of you. You and this woman are on totally different wavelengths. She has probably been through hell and back and you haven't stepped off the boat yet my friend. Don't settle for raisins when there's fresh grapes in the next aisle.

 

 

David or Dave whichever