I'm not close to my family

[Karibo]

Hiya

 

I am not close to my family. I am 21 and still live at home with my mother, father and brother but I don't feel as if I can talk to any of them when I have a problem. When I have problems, I always talk to my friends, but can never tell my parents bacause I don't feel as if they welcome me to talk about my feelings at all. I love my parents to bits and we get along very well, but only in a shallow way, as in we never talk properly about whats going on in our lives.

 

I feel as if I'm a stranger in my own home because over the past couple of years alot of things have happened in my life with uni and a guy I had problems with where I have been feeling very up and down, but they know none of this. They literally know nothing about my personal life except for my friends and that i am single - this is it tho.

 

Whenever I have tried to initiate a deeper conversation with my mother, she just looks very uneasy and it makes me feel uncomfortable too like she doesn't even want to hear if i'm ok or not and it makes me feel that i don't have the right to express myself to her because she doesn't want to know.

 

I am scared writing this because I know you will say to just talk to her, but i honestly find the idea very scary. I can just invisage her looking at me thinking 'what the Hell are you talking about' because i know she won't understand me at all. She got married to my father at 20 and he was her first boyfriend and it was no sex before marriage. I know she has told me that she thinks it's ok for me to make my own decisions and in the past she has let boyfriends stay the night etc, but i know she just won't really get it because she married so young.

 

I really can't bear to feel rejected by my mother again if i was to start talking deep and she just tried to change the subject again or have selective hearing. It felt really painful when i saw her looking like that before.

 

Do I have to be close to my parents? Is our family really bad because we aren't close. I dunno, part of me even likes feeling alone at times - home is like somewhere where i can escape from everyone, just go up into my room and think, and even if i am upset, i can go downstairs and no-one will be any the wiser.

 

I dunno, sometimes i even get very frustrated if all my family is about - i just want them to go away sometimes because I enjoy being alone, coz i feel a bit claustrophibic when they are around at times. Is that abnormal?

[itsallgrand]

Move Out on your own, for gawwwddss sakes!

 

Ok, just had to get that out. Now: hey, not every family is close. You're at an age where you are seperating from the fam. and have your own identity/life anyways.

 

I really think your best bet of building a stronger relationship would be to move out.