Shy Guys- The more shy, the more interest??

[ICEshortie]

I need to be in your mind for a second and see what goes on.

 

 

Why so flustering if you like this girl, have a good idea of her liking you back, but still soo shy to approach her yourself....

is it uncertainty? intimidation? rejection to painful because your becoming attached?

does making eye contact with her repeatedly make the shyness more intense and arouse more emotions?

if when you make eye contact with her, you cant even smile like the "invitation" way your supposed to, you just stare into her eyes with a dear in headlights look, and arent able to say a word?

do you get chills just thinking about meeting her eyes again, but afraid of not being able to say anything... again?

when your looking at her, you look only at her eyes, and dont care much for checking out lips, body, erogenous areas, is it really more intense?

what do you feel when some how, the two of you always know where each others eyes are going to be. you turn around, she's there and immediatley your eyes are fixated?

everytime you see her you never miss staring into her eyes? how are you feeling about her at this point?

You've followed her once just to see her, and your eyes met again, and you go there a second time just to meet her eyes again.

Do you think about this person alot because of it?

Do you feel like you know this person?

How would you feel if you missed your chance of approaching her, will you regret it or forget it?

 

shy guys...all guys... whats going through your minds??

[CluelessGuy321]

everyone's different.

 

For me, I never know if people are looking at me because they like me/checking me out or if they're staring at me and thinking "eew". I'm too negative. Plus, I'm afraid that she will have a BF or be mean and just shoot me down.

 

Funny thing is, if a girl is VERY attractive (so much so that I think she doesn't even notice me), I have no problem talking to them. Because I'm not expecting anything to come out of it.

 

I guess it's all about goals vs fear of public humilliation and failure.

[Mandoro]

I think fer me it is the fact that they may not like me back, or atleast the same way I like them.

 

I could talk to that person all day, they just have to start the conversation. I probably think that nothing will come out of it and figure it doesnt hurt to talk, but if it were to go into that "mode" I couldn't tell any different.

 

With that being said, my ability to read body language on a scale of one to ten is probably in the negatives and my ability to produce a relationship successful body language would be in the negatives as well.

 

With me, since I have nothing else left, would be my public image. I dont have anything else left.

 

I once asked a girl out, but it was in so much secrey that only me, the girl I asked, and a girl I asked for help, knew about it. I was so nervous I couldn't get the guts to ask her, so I wrote to her asking, I shook so bad I could barely read what I wrote and it took 30 minutes to write the single sentence "Would you like to catch a movie sometime?" I was rejected, but it wasnt the rejection that turned me away, it was the severe nervousness that I didn't want to go through again that made me give up.

 

If you need any more elaboration or clarifying, just let me know

[monsieur]

I feel for you, because the nervousness thing can get so strong for me too that I want to avoid it at all costs. The physical pain and stress of nerves is so extreme that I totally avoid any possible situations of rejection. It doesn't get better with age either, if you ever do muster up the will to try and then fail, it sets you back even further than when you started.

 

I haven't found any easy answers.

[atraceofblood]

I need to be in your mind for a second and see what goes on.

 

Why so flustering if you like this girl, have a good idea of her liking you back, but still soo shy to approach her yourself....

is it uncertainty? intimidation? rejection to painful because your becoming attached?

 

Even if the girl smiles back at me, I have the biggest feelings of being rejected because a smile could mean anything to me after I tried approaching a girl that kept smiling at me, and when I finally got the guts to talk to her, she just walked away and rejected me. I wish the girl would say hi to me, then I'd probably have an easy way to initiate a convo.

 

does making eye contact with her repeatedly make the shyness more intense and arouse more emotions?

 

Not sure if it makes my shyness more intense, but it does increase my infatuation and arouse my emotions and as a result I'd become more afraid to talk to her because of the fear of rejection.

 

if when you make eye contact with her, you cant even smile like the "invitation" way your supposed to, you just stare into her eyes with a dear in headlights look, and arent able to say a word?

 

for some reason I have a hard time giving a big smile even. But when she gives me a smile or smirk, my body seems to automatically respond back with a smile or smirk. I do give the deer look a lot, but I am really interested!

 

do you get chills just thinking about meeting her eyes again, but afraid of not being able to say anything... again?

 

not sure about chills, but I feel like beating myself up for not trying, or feel regretful because I don't know what to say and how to say it, in order to win her over, because I've never been successful with any girl before.

 

when your looking at her, you look only at her eyes, and dont care much for checking out lips, body, erogenous areas, is it really more intense?

 

by nature as a guy, I have the tendency to look at more than the eyes on the woman, but I try not to stare at anything else other than their eyes and a face, and it is their eyes that are the most intense and truly pleasurable to look at, especially when they look back, and give me a smile or something. I feel some type of connection that I can't explain, but when I've tried, I haven't succeeded yet.

 

 

what do you feel when some how, the two of you always know where each others eyes are going to be. you turn around, she's there and immediatley your eyes are fixated?

 

I feel odd and feel like there must be a connection. But for some reason I have yet to really connect. I still always have hope!

 

everytime you see her you never miss staring into her eyes? how are you feeling about her at this point?

 

what do you mean by this? If I see her and look into her eyes, I don't miss seeing her? I definitely miss seeing the girl when I see her after a while and look into her eyes. I am feeling an infatuated pleasure of attraction, wishing I could have her as my g/f.

 

You've followed her once just to see her, and your eyes met again, and you go there a second time just to meet her eyes again.

Do you think about this person alot because of it?

Do you feel like you know this person?

How would you feel if you missed your chance of approaching her, will you regret it or forget it?

 

I definitely think about the person a lot, especially after I've seen them quite a few times and during those times she has looked at me and smiled at me.

 

I do feel like there is some type of connection going on, and wish I could get to know her and connect with her. Not sure about knowing the person because I've only met eyes and smiled with her.

 

If I missed my chance, I'd feel really down and depressed and regretful because I was stupid enough not to try.

 

Right now I am in a similar situation where there is only a few weeks of school left, and there has been a girl throughout the semester that has caught my eye and just recently I've had more infatuated feelings for her. But I'm unsure how to approach her, when to, what to really say depending on the context, if she's taken or not, etc.

 

shy guys...all guys... whats going through your minds??

[ICEshortie]

aww i only have about a day or two left to talk to this guy. it feels awful how nervous i got when I tried to, and when i just SAW him... i felt as if I could never try again. but I know I have too....

[atraceofblood]

aww i only have about a day or two left to talk to this guy. it feels awful how nervous i got when I tried to, and when i just SAW him... i felt as if I could never try again. but I know I have too....

 

where do you see him? Is he on myspace or any other internet social network? Do you know any friends that might know him?

 

Have you ever talked to him before? If not, would you be able to say "hi" to him?

[Markers]

few days left? I tell you, I screwed my chances up. I was doing well with a girl but when we talked I didn't ask her number or ask her out. Since we have no school anymore, I haven't seen her since. You ask him out. You'll regret if you don't.

[corvidae]

I find that most women treat you like dust. When I say you, I mean me. If you're a girl and you like a guy, it's very simple, be nice to them. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

[ICEshortie]

where do you see him? Is he on myspace or any other internet social network? Do you know any friends that might know him?

 

Have you ever talked to him before? If not, would you be able to say "hi" to him?

 

I see him in school tuesdays and thursdays. nah he's not on myspace, i tried that I've seen the girls who know him, but I wouldnt be comfortable asking them for anything...

 

Nah I've never talked to him before. but we did share a class together last term. The only words he's ever said to me happened to be "thank you"..., "thank you"... and on occasion "thanks". which is unfortunate, because he sure as heck could talk to everyone else just fine Would I be able to say hi? I haven't been able to say anything... BUT since its my last chance to see him, I'm deffinatley gonna have to say a lot more than just a "hi" if I want to see him again. No matter how nervous I am.

[ICEshortie]

few days left? I tell you, I screwed my chances up. I was doing well with a girl but when we talked I didn't ask her number or ask her out. Since we have no school anymore, I haven't seen her since. You ask him out. You'll regret if you don't.

 

since I'm in college, I'll probably see him during summer term... if he's even signed up for summer classes. But Im not going to depend on that.... i have a feeling that once we start talking, he'll be the one to ask out, he just needs a little push. but we'll just have to see.

[Markers]

I wouldn't count on him doing anything. Of course it's possible, but be prepared to make your move very soon (ask him out). It's important that you take the "I'll do it" -attitude from very beginning. That way, if you need to do it, you don't have to start gathering your courage from scratch.

[x-Mr.lonely-x]

atraceofblood basiclly describes whats going through the shy minds, well maybe not in all cases, but its mainly what happens most of the time. The eye contact conection happened in my case, I know all I have to do is walk up to the girl and work things out, I already have something planned to open up a conversation, but when I stare into her eyes and she stares back at me, I just frezze in place and sorta forget everything. Its like I have a computer chip in my mind controling me not to go talk. Dispite that, there is a solution. If you dont want top go talk to the girl face to face just yet, become friends with her friends. Then work your way to her. Once ypou acctually talk to her for more than 30 seconds you'll fell more confertable talking to her.

[x-Mr.lonely-x]

I ment to not top in the 5th line, you not ypou, and comfortable not comfertable in the last line I was typing too fast. My bad

[b-ion]

When an attractive girl in my class starting staring at me i was uncertain of what i had to offer. But as the term grew by she just kept on starrring at me and i didn't know exactly what to do. Since she seemed a lot more confident than me and really knew many people in class i kind of figured that it was nothing. For a shy guy, in their head they think its everything. Because of a fear of rejection, fear of being in a relationship because frankly i haven't really been in one, i kind of stopped looking at her.

 

Besides it was really hard for me to talk to her, even if i got enough courage to do so. I always seemed to get flustered and i knew i was blushing. What made it more difficult was the because she was always with her friends. She sat beside them and she hung around them afterwards.

[Kevin T]

I'd look at it this way: So you blew your chance to get to know him better. You see it in a negative light; I see the same scenario in a positive one. After all, if it saves you the painful sting of rejection (this is my take on it, I'm in no wise trying to say you deserve to be rejected, please don't misunderstand).

 

And, personally speaking of course, I wouldn't necessarily recommend you take the initiative by asking him out first. I would be repelled away from such a female, myself. (But that's just me, so don't go by that.)

 

Now... basically, shy males are idiots. Full of contradictions of who they are and who they are not, they are a walking paradox; wanting love, yet always chiding others who want to get close to them.

 

I suppose the best explanation for their behaviour could be chocked up to a fear of rejection, a lack of self-confidence, poor social skills (especially with females), fear of success (hey, it happens!) and other situational factors. Sometimes, introverts are just shy (anyone with an 'I' from the Myers-Briggs is a possible candidate for shy behaviour), so it can even simply be a part of their God-given personality.

 

Dealing with shy, insecure males can be frustrating, I bet, but look around... they're everywhere! Unfortunately, a world without shy males (and females) is probably nothing but a pipe dream.