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Are "that so sweet"/"that was very cute",etc insults or compliments....


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Whenever I hear a girl say "Oh, your so sweet" or "oh, how cute", or "you are so cute" or "that was so cute",etc, I now cringe! When I was younger, I thought it was a compliment, but, then I realized over time that some girls meant it like "oh my, you are so lame".....

 

With this recent girl I was dating I brushed her hair in the car (like.. stroked it a bit... kind of like petting a dog.. haha)..and she was like "ohh, that is sweet.. thank you" or something. I was kind of taken aback... and I was like "excuse me?" and she said "oh.. that was nice.. thanks...."..... Soo.. I took it later that she actually did enjoy it, and felt like it was a bit of "intimate" connection...

 

But, still, when I hear girls say it, I think "oh no.. I just did something lame...." or "oh no, she doesn't know what to say so she said that"....

 

 

I am curious to hear from girls and guys on this.

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yeah, it means "ur so lame" ... always let the chick initiate contact, it's self control. If she hasn't touched you in anyway during a date, like brush up against you, touch your hand, something ... she's still not comfortable, and not totally interested in you. If you initiate touch before they do, it usually freaks them out, I mean 99.999999999% of the time it freaks them out ...

 

later,peace

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yeah, it means "ur so lame" ... always let the chick initiate contact, it's self control. If she hasn't touched you in anyway during a date, like brush up against you, touch your hand, something ... she's still not comfortable, and not totally interested in you. If you initiate touch before they do, it usually freaks them out, I mean 99.999999999% of the time it freaks them out ...

 

later,peace

 

I disagree to a point. Not saying thats not ever true, but I've dated plenty of girls who don't really break the touch barrier, then out of nowhere say "Why haven't you kissed me yet?" So I think some forwardness has to be initiated by the guy in most repects. You don't need to go all out, but I mean open a door for her, put your hand on the small of her back and "lead" her so to speak. There's plenty of things a guy can do to initiate contact without going creepy.

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I always take that kind of comment at face value. If the girl doesn't mean it that way then she should be saying what she means, anything else is misleading. If girls are saying things like that when they think something you're doing is lame, then you're just not be straight up. Sometimes you can tell by the tone at which it is said.

 

FWIW, from what I know, most girls love having their hair brushed and stroked. So I suspect her comments were genuine.

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A lot of girls love having their hair brushed or stroked - or pretty much anything that is thoughtful. I don't know a girl that doesn't.

 

Things like that make them feel special. I've never said that to any partner as a lame comment.

 

I think she meant it as though it was thoughtful of you and thank you.

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A lot of girls love having their hair brushed or stroked - or pretty much anything that is thoughtful. I don't know a girl that doesn't.

 

I HATE having my hair touched. I got this intense hate from my mom. She never liked being touched on the head, it's demeaning she says, like patting a dog.

 

As for the "aww, that's so cute" comments, if I say something is cute, I say it because it's true. It's not an insult, at all.

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I mean, I'm not putting you down so don't take it that way, but I really do think you're just overanalyzing terminology here, rather that looking at the big picture.

 

Every woman has her own mannerisms and terminology that she uses. Me, I'm not really into the mushy crap so much. (I think that last one will probably get bleeped, but let's just say it rymes with brap,k?) But if she said it's sweet she probably thinks it's sweet. However, if it came accross forced, then maybe it was because your sudden-fly-by-hair-stroking, came out a bit abrupt and forced, too.

 

And on the 'sweet' guy issue, I love men who are sweet to me, I just love men better who can do that and manage not to be effeminite while they're doing it.

 

My mother and I share a theory on the whole "NICE GUY" issue. (This isn't directed to you necessarily, but you may want to keep this in mind when you hear another guy complain that he's "Too nice...") When a woman doesn't like a man (regardless of the reason), she wants to make him go away (ASAP), but doesn't want to make him angry in case he turns into a crazy stalker. So she tries to soften the blow by saying (you guessed it!) "You're a nice guy, but...". Look, maybe the guy is really a bitter angry creep, and not a nice guy at all. But she's not going to tell him so, because of her aforementioned fear of him turning into a crazy angry bitter stalker. So, you see guys if you're one who's been told "you're nice, but..." A LOT, you should stop complaining that women don't like nice guys, because I can assure you that we in fact do! The reality is probably that you are NOT nice.

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You have to go with your gut. Yeah, some women say all kinds of things that they don't mean or mean in a not so kind way. But it could be genuine, or just something to say.

 

I know for myself, I like to talk a lot. A man may do something very sweet, and I'll want to say something...anything...to acknowledge it. Sometimes it comes out wrong, sometimes I should just shut up.

 

You really do have to go with your gut and the person addressing you.

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i hate stuff like that and know exactly how you feel, when i was young i used to think that was good so i did the brushing of hair all the time...wow big mistake...

 

i cringe too when they say you're quite the charmer aren't you!! or you are the cutest!!!

 

but then again im so paranoid of things like that going on that i haven't made the first move on a girl in a LONG time, probably missing out on a couple encounters...oh well no big deal

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I say you did great on your date. especially if you have kissed that girl already which ppl seemed to have missed that! When I went on my first date with my GF she was telling me.. aww sweeet .. cute.. all this! I didn't touch her hair but I did touch the hand a little. and we didn't kiss until the 3rd date. but the "you are cute comment and you are sweet comments seemed like a compliment rather than ohhh back off now creep!

 

dun worry about it you're doing great.

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