Why is she doing this?

[mmaurer6]

Hey everyone! I'm just hurting right now because my ex fiance keeps doing things that make me miserable. I have been healing well, but she keeps bringing me down.

 

For example, this past friday, she found out that I had a date, so she went to talk to a friend of mine and asked him about it. Then she told him that she was dating one guy, but keeping another guy on the side. She also told him that she was sleeping with this other guy and that the two guys don't know about each other. Why the hell does she have to tell my friend about this, knowing that it will eventually get back to me.

 

Needless to say, while I was out on my date Friday night, I received a text message from her at about midnight. All it said was, "Just wanted to let you know that I took care of the loan today." Why the hell does she need to write that to me at midnight? I'm glad the loan is taken care of, but why tell me then, when she told my friend about it earlier the same day?

 

Is she just messing with me, wanting me to be moping around and miserable? She went from an absolute sweetheart to a cold hearted * * * * *. She was always the good girl, and now she is the party animal who is sleeping with a couple different guys. I don't get it. She says she wants me to be happy, and that she wants to be friends because we were best friends for 2 years. If she wants to be friends, then why the hell does she want me miserable?

 

Marc

[becallamjr]

Who left who? Was it a good break up or bad break up?

[Bingo72]

It sounds like something I did a long time ago to my ex. Even though I was the one that did the break up, he no longer wanted to be with me anyway and I knew this for about three months prior to the breakup. Anyway, whenever I got the chance I would tell his sister or our old mutual friends things like that because I knew it would get back to him. When I look back now it was such a childish thing to do because I knew I didn't want him back but I felt so hurt that he let me break up with him so easily and didn't even try to make things work out. It's not like the relationship was rocky, we always were happy and content, just seems like bordom set in for him. I guess I felt like if he knew that other men still desired me that he would want me again. I would advise you to block her as a contact on your text messaging system on your phone. And let people know that you don't want to know what she says to them. I did this, I told the people that I knew he had contact with not to come tell me these things. It's hard to know they have this kind of information without wanting to get it from them but you have to stop yourself and say no, I won't do this. I have learned that silence on your part and not letting the ex know anything that you are doing now will hurt them the most.

[heavensent]

My opinion..she is trying to make you jealous. She wants you to think that she has moved on. The thing is, she may be making it all up. I know when I broke up with my boyfriend I would tell him I had dates or tell someone he knew that I had one when really I was sitting at home being depressed watching sappy love movies and eating a pint of hagen daz! lol, the truth is, she just wants you to think she is moving on..she may really be and she may not. Maybe if you talked to her and told her how this was making you feel she'd stop...she may not realize how childish she is really being.

[PocoDiablo]

Actions speak louder than words.

 

She's trying to make you miserable because you LET her. Ignore her.

[mmaurer6]

She left me about 5 months before our wedding. She just said I don't love you anymore and I don't know why. I did all of the begging and pleading and all of that crap. I desperately tried to get back together, but that stopped a couple months ago. I've been trying to move on, and I did have a date this weekend. We text messaged each other a couple times earlier in the week, and she was telling me that she was dating someone, but it wasn't serious. I told her it would be tough to see her with someone else, but then again I had a date on Friday. On Thursday, she showed up at work all dressed up and looking good for the first time since she left me in January. Then she intentionally came to a part of the building where she knew I would be, just so I could see her all prettied up. Up until that point, she was coming to work looking terrible and very unprofessional. Actually, I just saw her today, and she looked miserable as usual. I don't get it.

 

Fides,

Our relationship wasn't rocky either. I do think boredom set in with her as well. But why this sudden change of personality?

 

Poco,

Your right! I do need to ignore her and not let it bother me. It is hard as hell though.

[majord23]

She texted you at midnight on a night when she *knew* you were out on a date - She has exposed her intentions.

 

Don't give her the satisfaction of reacting in *any* way....just keep moving on.

[PocoDiablo]

Just like kids tease each other to get a reaction, you're acting like a kid when you react to her teasing you.

 

Aren't you glad she broke up with you before you married her? Imagine what he** your life would be with her as a wife.

[Bingo72]

Fides, Our relationship wasn't rocky either. I do think boredom set in with her as well. But why this sudden change of personality?

 

My friend, that is what I have spent much time trying to figure out myself. It was a sudden change with him too. But you know what I have figured out? He must have been tired of our relationship for some time because people don't usually act on the first thoughts or feelings they have when that time comes. I think it takes months to muster the strength to walk away from someone but once it happens it's done. I don't think I'd want anyone that didn't want me anyway.

[lucia]

I think that she doesn't sleep with that other guy, she just said it because she knew that your friend would tell you this and you would feel upset. She is selfish and thinking only about herself and she still wants your attention even thought you're not together anymore. I know it's hard but try to get over her, she's not worth it. She says that she wants you happy but she does everything to make you feel bad. She's very selfish and not worth your attention.

Take care! And try not to worry about it too much. I bet it's not even the truth.

[mmaurer6]

Well, the ex knows I'm leaving for Sacramento on Thursday for a week and now she wants to come up to my place tonight. She said she will give me a going away present, but I can't tell anyone and I shouldn't have any expectations afterwards(which means sex). Now she is supposed to be dating someone. Why does she want to come over my place if she wants nothing to do with me? Is it just that she wants me to be thinking of her while I am away? She is so damn confusing. I need her to just leave me alone. Why is she doing this?

 

Marc

[PocoDiablo]

Invite her over so she can be mean to you again? Why would you set yourself up like that?

[mmaurer6]

I didn't invite her over.

[PocoDiablo]

Well said. Tell her no!