exs

[buckley]

I was with my 1st love two and a half yrs ago........

we met in my home country when he was on holiday, i was moving abroad to hsi home country so we kept in touch for oevr a yr until i finally finished my studies and had the chance.

during the time of keeping in touch i realized how much he was this person i so connnected with, he felt the same.

anyways when i moved abroad and met back up with him the obvious happened, we hooked up. it was full on, ild never felt anything liek it, it was incredible. then he started distancing, he never called me and would only see me every now and then, he warned me about this before we got involved. he was too scared ever since an ex girlfriend of 3 yrs ago had burned him. he said he could only get close to ppl who didnt matter or if he knew it was definetly going to last, and with meit wasnt going to last because i would eventually have to move back to my country and he had tried to but couldnt get a visa to where i lived, but mostly it was the timimng, he said he needed time to sort his head, he had also stopped havin sex with me. i coudltn deal so i would leave thinkng he didnt really have feelings for me and then when i would go to leave he wouldnt stop me but he would hold me in a way that was so strong and he would always say he wouldnt not see me again and he hoped for us to work it out bu he needed time.

he wnated so bad to stay friends so i would se ehim again but we always ended up gettin close but it was always me coming onto him and him still being alil distant even sexually.

we ended up sayin we would take time apart so we ocudl be just friends cos he staretd havin anxiety attacks and went on antidepressants but timimng have it i had to return home for awhile, i hadnt seen him for ages so iw ent to se ehim and he he had a just sex relationship going on, he said he did the exact same thing to his ex gf who he was madly in love with and he still hoped for us but i said no and i said dint wanna see him unles si was over him. he kept in touch with me but would always say if he saw me again he would be too tempted to get close so was maybe better if we just kept in touch, we saw each other again but i keot my distance, i was still in love with him even htough it had been 6 mnths, i figured he still didnt hope for us as he told me he was going to move city and was still seeing the just sex girl, i asked if he still had feelings for me and he said no then yes but that he couldnt cos too much stress etc.

anyways it was a yr later i was movin back to my hoem country and we had kept in touch so i asked to see him, we were so close for so long that i still cared about him and still felt liek we were close, he thougth about ti for 3 mnths n then said no cos he knew he would be too tempted to get close to me again even tho he was still seeing that girl. when he writes ot me he tells me he fantasises abuot me and wants photos and this is 2 n half yrs later, i asked why he would have been tempted and he said cos he still had soft spots for me, but im now over him still going on about fantasisinga botu me etc cos i feel like its all i ever was that or he stil has feelings for me, but anyways ive cut of contact with him seems we cant just be friends but im sad i had to do that, is it normal for ex bfs to fantasise about you and want photos and not see you even tho they wanna cos they know they will get close to u etc..........all i knwo is i feel sorry for his current gf.............did i do the right thing? by cutting of conatct, is what hes doing normal ? does he still have feelings for me? ive moved on and now with a guy who i love very much and treats me good aswell, and dont wanna live in past as my ex continusoulsy does when in touch with me.....

[tobigahart]

You've done exactly the right thing. The feelings he is feeling for you is the love that you used to have and the difficult for him ofhaving to separate himself from it.

 

Things will probable never be the same again as they once were but moving on will be a good thing. You get to fall in love again!

 

It will be hard at first (as it probably already has been) but you'll get through it faster and be able to move on sooner. If he does come back, I would be sceptical... you don't want him to be with you just because he can't be without you.

 

I hope you can get through this ok, theres plenty of love out there with your name on it..