NC with ex, but her family keeps contact. Help!

[LL1979]

I've been keeping NC with my ex for a few months since we split. She was 18, I was 26. Loved her to bits. She suggested the break up, and after a week or two of "But I love you" and "Lets work it out", I said goodbye. She said there was another guy. So I figured I'd try to move on. Fighting for her wasn't working so it was the only option. Haven't heard a peep from her since.

 

I was close with her aunt (who's basically her mom) during the whole relationship and during the breakup. Her aunt texted me after the breakup and said to keep in touch, that she believed it wasn't hopeless. I took some small comfort from that, but I didn't contact caroline again.

 

But her aunt texted me again recently, after nearly 3 months of zero contact. She asked how I was, that she isn't giving up on us yet(!?), and that caroline misses me. I said I missed caroline too, but that it was her decision to end it and there was nothing I could do. So her aunt basically asked me to keep in touch and said c. was a "silly girl" and she would "mind her" for me.

 

I thought caroline had enough of me, but now I'm being told she "misses" me by her nearest & dearest. We had a great thing going before it got complicated and I did want to work it out, to be with her. But I just want what's best for her now, what am I supposed to do? Just cos the aunt likes me doesn't mean caroline wants me back. I'm not even sure if caroline knows I was speaking to her aunt. I was doing fine with NC until this happened. Confused.... help?

[keenan]

My suggestion is to be polite to her aunt, but maintain NC with Caroline unless and until she contacts you PERSONALLY and tells you that she misses you and wants you back. Family members sometimes have a hard time letting go...just like we do. ;( For all you know, her aunt may be trying to orchestrate a reconciliation by telling each of you that you're missed by the other. Too many romance novels....

[Tigris]

I agree with Keenan be nice to the aunt and NC with the ex.

 

Good luck

[NubianLove]

On the other hand its a great thing the family loves u, and if she's close to her family, that can help u guys get back together down the road. It can be the one thing that pushes u guys in that direction.

[LL1979]

Well daughters sometimes go for the guy their folks HATE so I'm not sure her aunt's approval is necessarily a good thing... but I did confess to her aunt that I missed her. But I also said I was gonna "respect her decision to break up" ie I'm not gonna push her anymore - THAT did not work.

 

Even though I'd like to call, I feel I have to maintain some dignity here... but her aunt could be sending signals that if I tried calling, there might be a reconciliation. If my ex REALLY wanted to try again, she'd get in touch herself, right?