Here we go, again...

[Süsser Tod]

Lately I haven't felt well at all, my mind has been working extra time overthinking everything, I've lost all motivation, hate my job, etc.

 

I've been with my new gf for a week today, and it seems like it was so long ago, basically time goes too slowly, days seem to be eternal, but at the same time, time goes by so fast...

 

Today I realized I'm stuck on a quite bad depression, and it is getting worse. Think this has to do with my new relationship, I feel like standing on something soft, over which I usually balance myself so it doesnt sink, but now everytime I see her, it is like if I were jumping, while I'm with her I'm floating, but when I leave, I fall, and the thing sinks, and everytime I jump, it sinks more. Hope that makes sense.

 

In all fairiness at this point I do feel like going back to the antidepressives, not quite convinced to go to therapy, as I need to get out of this depression as soon as possible, don't know what to do really.

 

Here I'm at work, hating every moment of it.

[robowarrior]

Anti-depressants are only symptom suppressors, and NOT problem solvers. The problem is that there is no love in who you are or what you do. Nothing in the universe can make you happy exept loving and helping other people you see.

 

Choices create the reality that you live in, thereforeeee you have to make wise choices that make you happy? Bad job = make a choice to change, bad gf? = make a choice to change.

 

Its like riding a bus, if you suddenly notice that the bus is not going into the direction that you want to, you have to get off, and get on a bus that DOES take you into the right direction, why would you continue to stay on a bus that doesn't go the way you want to go? Your a free man, with free will and free choice, make that carreer jump, bring love in your life back, support and believe in yourself, make others happy and happyness will be casted back on you. A problem will remain to be a problem till the end of time until you solve it. Im not going against the benefit of anti-depressants, for some these are essentially needed, but they are NOT problem solvers, in the end it all comes down to you. Take the power back in your own hands, shape it into what you want it to be, its like a rough diamond that you need to chisel, and that must shine in such a way that it emphasizes what you want your life to be.

[Goodfun88]

I'm not a counselor or pyschologist, but when I get down, and start thinking negative thoughts, I immediately replace those thoughts with positive thoughts. Kind of like retraining my brain to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. You have a new girlfriend, instead of getting down when your not with her, instead look forward to how much fun you are going to have the next time you see her. Its hard to replace these thoughts if you've gotten into the habit of thinking negatively, but it can be done! Good luck and I hope you are feeling better soon!

[ElektraHere]

I am confused Todd??? Didn't you just post something about a gal you had been dating a month who was leaving town for a bit? Now you are talking about this gal who you have been dating for a week?

Please catch me up which girl are you talking about?

[Süsser Tod]

I am confused Todd??? Didn't you just post something about a gal you had been dating a month who was leaving town for a bit? Now you are talking about this gal who you have been dating for a week?

Please catch me up which girl are you talking about?

 

We have been dating for a month, but she has been my girlfriend (oficialy) since last thursday. Same girl, just different timeframes.

[ElektraHere]

Todd,

 

I think that you are not ready to handle a relationship. In your mindframe right now you will end up pushing the person away when you want them closer to you. I do suggest getting back on your meds and therapy helps especially if you get someone who helps you recognize patterns that need to be broken. I am finding out alot about my patterns to certain situations.

 

I know it sucks being alone but wouldnt you want to be a whole you in a relationship then a barely hanging on you?

To use a metaphor like RoboWarrior used would you ride your motorcycle with a very low front tire on a 100 mile trek or for that matter 1 mile? Knowing at any moment you could blow a tire and wipe out completely?

 

Look at yourself and how you are with this relationship right now. You are needing to focus on you and give yourself a little TLC right now. Then when you are ready you will shine and that really attracts us ladies.

[Süsser Tod]

Todd,

 

I think that you are not ready to handle a relationship. In your mindframe right now you will end up pushing the person away when you want them closer to you. I do suggest getting back on your meds and therapy helps especially if you get someone who helps you recognize patterns that need to be broken. I am finding out alot about my patterns to certain situations.

 

Yes, I'm aware of that. But I'm not going to let her go. Timing with her had never been good, this was the closest to good timing as we could both have.

 

And besides, she is basically the best thing on my life right now, so no, letting her go is not an option.

[ElektraHere]

Well if you do not seek help for your depression the timing you speak of will be the best timing for her to split from you too.

 

Timing is a key but I think you may be mixing the timing up with just depression and loneliness? If this were truly a great thing you wouldnt be so stressed about the things in your relationship. I can see a person being cautious but you are going beyond that.

 

You know the old saying you have to be in love with who you are before you can truly love another. A person cannot "complete" you they can enhance you and bring out the best.

 

I hope that you can get back on your meds and seek therapy so that you dont unintentionally push her away.

[Süsser Tod]

That is a good wakeup call. But she didn't came because of depression and loneliness, that came after her. Don't know why I got depressed after getting with her.

 

I usually like my job, had never felt about it like I do now, dunno why. I'm also working out, and have lost several pounds of weight, so I dont' know why I'm feeling like this in this moment. In fact, I've got no reason at all to be depressed.

[ElektraHere]

Hmmm? Usually losing weight and excersise especially produces endorphins so you would doses of natural "happy chemicals" as opposed to using meds.

First off try and calm down about the relationship. As I have been told dont have expectations because when you start to have them thats when the disappointments and anxiety come into play.

 

Second, go to your dr and see about meds they may help.

[Süsser Tod]

I was almost falling asleep right now, 3:00 pm GMT -6, and realized I haven't slept well in the last few days, maybe I'll just go to the gym today, turn off my cellphone and unplug the telephone, take a sleeping pill and hope I can se the sun shine tomorrow.

 

I'll go to a "alternative" medicine doctor (I made an apointment, in less than 30 minutes), I've seen him help a guy that was even more depressive than I am, and I'm scared to death about taking antidepressives, I know they may help, but I want to stay away from them as possible. I've taken them, and the widthrawal is a nightmare.