THANK YOU! Almost a week

[shamus]

I just want to show everyone the love they have shown me going through the worst time in my life...and say thank you. all of your posts have been truly helpful.

 

I say this because tomorrow will be one week for me with no contact!

yes it hurts, but is getting easier.this is big for me because this is the longest I have gone without contacting her.Saturday will be 2 weeks since she contacted me.

 

I still love her. i always will. But the fact is we both treated each other like crap, but the difference is i was willing to work things out, even pay for couple's counselling, and try to resolve our B$.

If she called me, i dont know what i'd do. part of me would want to run back to her, but another part of me that is growing stronger would not take her back. if i gave in, I'd be firm on my positions, i cant be a doormat. like i said, i do still lvoe her and always will, and while i want to be the one to make her happy, she needs to be happy and secure in herself, and if that is not with me, then i will have grown so much just for knowing her.

 

so this weekend will be tough for me i know.

but the urges to call are dying. yes i miss her and think of her...but i also remember the hurt and pain she caused me.

 

I have started dating again. it is a nightmare. but at the same time, it does feel good to be wanted. the girls i have met so far really dont interest me on anything more than platonic(still not over her and want someone to impress ME), as i do compare them to her. still the diversion and the company is nice, particularly since i moved here a few years ago have no family and only a small social circle-so it helps combat loneliness. i probably wont jump into something or even get physical for a while, my heart is too hurt still, but it is healing.

 

those of you doing NC, stick with it! it does get easier. i wont forget or stop loving her, but i am gettting strong enough to let her go.

 

thank you all again, especially those who have posted in my threads.

[PRSOV]

I'm glad you have found it within yourself to overcome the urge to contact. It can be so hard to do especially when they are contacting you. I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

Good luck

[arwen]

Woohoo Shamus!! Glad to see you are feeling better! Casual dating is ok for now, it's good to meet new people without getting seriously involved at this moment.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse

[minnie]

Well done shamus! Stick to it yeah? No looking back, im proud of you

[Spawn]

way to go Shamus.....on saturday it will be 1 month for me. I am on hardcore NC. I think it was the start of third week for me when i lost all urges of contacting her.

 

take care...

[kellbell]

Hi Shamus,

 

I am so glad to read you are feeling better. Time is working its magic. And it will continue to do so as long as you let it. I know there are those urges to give her a call, that is normal. It is like when someone is trying to quit smoking, he/she knows it is bad for his/her health, but there are going to be those cravings. It takes a lot of strength and willpower NOT to give in to those cravings.

 

It is awesome to see you are dating casually. There is nothing wrong with it at all. It is defiantely a way to meet new people and to get your confidence back. You appear to know yourself quite well and what you need to do. You are already ahead of the game.

 

Keep up the good work and keep checking in here. I would like to see how you have getting along. Take care.

[Penny1041]

Hi Shamus,

I am PROUD of you, keep up the good work.. Your gonna compare your new dates to her, thats normal.. just keep things casual and dont expect too much, you cant go wrong if you do it like that.

If this weekend gets too tough, you know where to find me..

 

Penny

[shamus]

thanks for the replies and encouragement guys...today was rough, i know this weekend will suck, but i am feeling better about it.

i do deserve someone better, and let some other poor sucker deal with her crap

although i do still miss her, i am finding it within myself to find better

[NubianLove]

Hang in there luckily the ex and I had a big fight so I have not dialed his number at all, and deleted it from my phone. Its been 5days since we talked, but I broke silence with a much needed text message 2days ago, but now nothing till he contacts and even then, I'll decide what I want to do then.

[kellbell]

Hi Shamus!

 

Try not to be alone this weekend. Make some plans. It is not a good idea to be alone when you are feeling like this. Surround yourself around many people as you can. Hang in there...you are doing great!

[shamus]

yeah im going out this weekend. although right now my self-esteem is shot to pieces. but hanging around moping in the house, pining, wishing, praying, for someone that doesnt love or want me anymore will do no good.

part of me wants to hear her voice, to hold her, tell her i love her. another part of me wants to run as far away as i can shut out the pain because i know if she comes around, my heart will get crushed again.

so many broken promises by her to try, and that hurts the most

[shamus]

doing good so far, but thinking about her. missing her. wondering what she is doing, if she has a new guy. all those negative thoughts. the urge is still there, but i am being strong.

her actions proved she never loved me, that hurts the worst. trying to be strong still. tonight will be hard for me