weird phone call...

[devyn]

ok here goes...

i have been dating on and off this guy, 33, (i am 43) for about 2 years. the bad thing, and i know it's my fault, is that he's never taken me out, we just hang at my house. maybe he's embarrassed of me, who knows. anyway, at first he was really into me, and then we had some struggles, well, at first, i wanted to hold off having sex for spiritual reasons and because i wasn't sure if he was a player or not. well, that kind of broke us up for awhile...well, we were on and off. then, i finally gave in and have been having sex a lot with him, he would practically come over every day, and we were getting closer. a side note: he has a child with another woman but they are not married.

SO!!

yesterday, i thought everything was going great, we had sex...but there's a problem there too, i forgot...he's always asking me to "act sexy" and i'm feeling like..."dude, aren't i sexy enough?" apparently not. and afterwards his cell rings and he takes it all paniky to my bathroom and fumbles around, then says he's gotta take this call outside, as in outside my apartment. he has always taken calls in front of me so why was this one different? (duh...)

anyway, i am so proud of myself because i did not say anything. he offered no explanation, but he was asking me "what's wrong" i think because he had a guilty concience. i just said nothing but he could tell, but i don't care. i was in a relationship once before where the guy took calls out in the hall...(i.e., he was seeing someone else)

so now i see i was being used. i never want to speak with him again, i know he has someone else. it just hurts.

[keenan]

Wow. Welcome to ENA; I'm sorry it happened under these cirmumstances.

 

This guy sounds like a loser & a user. It's only your fault to the extent that you had a hunch about him using you but turned a blind eye to it. But you know, sometimes we take risks for companionship--we close our eyes, hold our breath, and hope for the best. That's understandable. Don't beat yourself up...just change the locks. You sound like you've got your head on straight now, devyn. Good luck!!

[annie24]

I agree with keenan. Now that you know better, you'll do better You'll find someone who is crazy about you the way you are and isn't really dumb about sneaking around.

[Süsser Tod]

well, that kind of broke us up for awhile...well, we were on and off. then, i finally gave in and have been having sex a lot with him, he would practically come over every day, and we were getting closer. a side note: he has a child with another woman but they are not married.

 

 

So you had a row of big red flashing lights in front of you, and you wonder what happened?

 

I used to have sex like bunnies with my ex-gf, my current gf is a virgin, and I respect that and her desicion, yes, sex is important, but should not be the foundation of the relationship.

[Momene]

Not sexy???? Well that is you in the picture?

 

Not stalking you (i'm married) but think you look great.

 

He's a loser!

[devyn]

thank you everyone, i really appreciate it!!

and thank you Momene, that was very nice! about the sexy thing, he has very specific preferences and is very picky about women's appearance, another thing that is getting to be too much, thinking that i am never good enough, you know??? i think he was embarrassed by our age diff...but there are lots of ow/ym pairings these days...i guess it just goes aginst his "image" like he should be seen with an 18 year old.

today it dawned on me that if he really loved me he would be at my door right now saying he was sorry or would have at least called. instead, i know he is mad because i had the nerve to be angry with him for his suspicious behaviour. it just seemed weird that he would have to hide a phone call from me when he had always taken them in front of me.

[annie24]

yeah!!! You are a total hottie. I don't know what his deal is. Forget him. you deserve better treatment than this!

[devyn]

yeah!!! You are a total hottie. I don't know what his deal is. Forget him. you deserve better treatment than this!

 

thank you!! you guys are great. i was reading the other day Gina Davis met her husband when she was 42, he was 27, they are married to this day, she's 50, he's 35 and they're going strong!! maybe i still have a chance!!

[Momene]

thank you!! you guys are great. i was reading the other day Gina Davis met her husband when she was 42, he was 27, they are married to this day, she's 50, he's 35 and they're going strong!! maybe i still have a chance!!

My Mrs is 8 years younger but would still have married her if it was the other way round. Only doubt I would have had was that at 41 (at the time) she may not have wanted kids and I did.

[Daddy Bear]

i already replied to your i'm over it post but when i came accross this one and read that you are my age i was compelled to comment further b/c it gave me great hope to know that there are girls like you in this world. if i ever have the great good fortune to cross paths with one i would consider myself very lucky indeed. i wouldn't care if she had donkey ears and a tail, i would treat her a damn sight better than the way you were treated by your former bf over the past 2 years.

 

if i had ever stooped to act the way your 'man' did, my ex would have separated me from my reproductive extremities before i could blink.

 

i'll say it again, and i would say it to his face: the jerk should be boiled in oil!!

[devyn]

i already replied to your i'm over it post but when i came accross this one and read that you are my age i was compelled to comment further b/c it gave me great hope to know that there are girls like you in this world. if i ever have the great good fortune to cross paths with one i would consider myself very lucky indeed. i wouldn't care if she had donkey ears and a tail, i would treat her a damn sight better than the way you were treated by your former bf over the past 2 years.

 

if i had ever stooped to act the way your 'man' did, my ex would have separated me from my reproductive extremities before i could blink.

 

i'll say it again, and i would say it to his face: the jerk should be boiled in oil!!

 

LOL...well, hey, love...or whatever the heck it was, can certainly make us temporarily insane. i'm just so glad that he's losing his grasp on me. i just wanna feel free. i don't even care that it didn't work out like i thought it would in the beginning. i have to take responsibility, forgive myself, and move on!!!!

[Momene]

i already replied to your i'm over it post but when i came accross this one and read that you are my age i was compelled to comment further b/c it gave me great hope to know that there are girls like you in this world. if i ever have the great good fortune to cross paths with one i would consider myself very lucky indeed. i wouldn't care if she had donkey ears and a tail, i would treat her a damn sight better than the way you were treated by your former bf over the past 2 years.

 

if i had ever stooped to act the way your 'man' did, my ex would have separated me from my reproductive extremities before i could blink.

 

i'll say it again, and i would say it to his face: the jerk should be boiled in oil!!

 

But before being boiled in oil, I'd like to see him get into a relationship with a girl who treats him the same. Trouble is, some jerks (and jerkesses) seem to be able tog et away with their behaviour.

[devyn]

But before being boiled in oil, I'd like to see him get into a relationship with a girl who treats him the same. Trouble is, some jerks (and jerkesses) seem to be able tog et away with their behaviour.

 

thanks so much!

but i wonder if they do: cause and effect; for every action there's a reaction. maybe not evident right away, but...in their action is their consequences, sooner or later. it's true for all of us. it is very important how we treat each other, and in my case, how i've treated myself.

[Daddy Bear]

jerkesses, lol... what a great word, and not a single google hit, even in the singular form.

 

i totally have to steal that one, Momene. remember: imitation=sincere flattery

 

[edit: actually, there were 84 hits for "jerkesses". i goofed and searched google news the 1st time. 2 am here, wcis? i'm still stealing it from ya...]

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Good lord, thats shocking. He was totally disrespectful there..you can do certainly MUCH better than him, what a loser. And you have a great photo, why would you need to be sexier?? (sorry if that was inappropriate)