Serious Dillema

[setsuko1981]

I'm kinda in a serious dillema right now. I just want someone to help me ease my mind.

 

I have a co-worker(girl, I'm a guy) who, in the past few months of working with, I had developed some feelings for; we've also became friends at work. The problem: she has another boyfriend!!! So, that means that she's "untouchable" Anyway because of my curiosity, I dropped/gave her some hints to indicate that (at the very least) I have a crush on her (as I wanted to see if she would like me back in the first place). As time goes on, she responds as she also likes me back. I've given it a lot of thought, and I came to this conclusion: she's is in a relationship now, and is willing to break it up, to be with me. How can I say (in the future) that if she starts to like someone else that she will not do the same thing with me?--dump her current BF for me.

 

At the same time, I asked myself these questions: "This is a chance for romance, am I going to miss it?" "Is she worth to be with?" "Do I really want to pass her up?"

 

HELP!!!

[Belgarion]

I'm in a similar situation, setsuko1981, except I'm married. We've been lunching together, building up a rapport, flirting over e-mail and after dropping loads of subtle and not-so-subtle hints I basically asked if I was alone in this. She said no, I wasn't. Her boyfriend, in her own words, is a manipulative, arrogant, thuggish b*****d and she's just looking for an excuse to leave him. We had an after-work drink or two the other day, acting like a couple of teenagers (I'm in my mid-thirties, she's in her early-twenties), and agreed to try a relationship, albeit slowly because we'd only be able to snatch the odd hour or two outside of work and she says she understands that I can't make any serious commitments until we see whether it is more to it than an infatuation. She said that it's hard for her to see me with my wife when she (my wife) picks me up from work and why can't life be perfect...i.e., why can't we be together? What kills me is that her boyfriend always wants to know who's texting her or phoning her on her cellphone so I can't contact her outside of work so I can't tell her that I'm missing her in case I get her into trouble with him. Arrrrggghhh! Being a little insecure in this (it's never happened to me before), I'm afraid that, in the couple of days we don't see each other, she'll change her mind.

 

I'm not really after advice...as I truly do know what I'm doing...I just wanted to get it off my chest...but if anyone has any comments about this, I would welcome them.

[CarnelianButterfly]

If she dumps her BF for you, then I would have serious issues with her integrity as a person and as to the possible future you could have. Think about the trust issues that may raise in the relationship, if she is willing to dump someone for the purpose of another's attentions then she could do it again. It sets a poor precedent, wait for her to either break up for a more valid reason or move on to green pastures.

[robowarrior]

Its A BIG NO NO! , you do not have the right to interfere with someone elses relationship.

 

Imagine you are married, and you see your wife is cheating on you, how would that make you feel? Pretty bad right, so don't do to others what you wouldn't want to happen on yourself. Even if she does make that move, it only means she is unfaithfull and couldn't care less about the feelings of that guy. I think you shouldn't contribute into the misery of others, he will probably feel horrible beyond believe if she leaves him, because of you, and that my friend is bad karma, and its going to hit you back again by something simular happening to you. I wouldn't do it, i wouldn't want to have that kind of blood on my hands.

[Sparky21]

i actually cant quite believe this. Belgarion you talk about your gf (even though your married) having a bastard of a bf, im sorry but what exactly are you doin to your wife?? arent u being a bastard too her. you need to think about what the hell you are doing, how would you feel if she was cheatin on you. if you would feel nothing you shouldnt be married in the first place and you need to consider getting out of it.

 

i do think that you need to end this thing with this other girl, i think its ridiculous when people cheat i really do, especially when it can be prevented.

 

it seems too me you have gone into this "relationship" with your eyes wide open, why are you being so deceitful, and where exactly is it going to be heading?? and i dont think its ok to start up an affair for being infatuated with some1, if every1 did that in the world it would be a worse place than it is just now.

 

and set if u are worried about her going off with some1 before the relationship starts u sholdnt even go there, u dont need those worries at the beginning.

[evy38]

How much do you love your job? There is an old saying, "Never get your honey, where you get your money."

[keenan]

There is an old saying, "Never get your honey, where you get your money."

 

LOL!! I've never heard that, but it's cute.