He wants me back... or so he SAYS.... Is he being totally genuine??

[Hunny1607307342]

I cannot believe what has happened. I went out with a guy at college, and it was never really official, for a few months. He broke up with me unexpectedly saying he's not ready for a serious relationship, and that I'm not the one for him. I was devastated and felt like he really messed me about. When he had this 'girlfriend' a few days later, I knew that it was officially over and I had lost all hope of anything ever happening between us again. We saw each other everyday but we were rather distant. Then things didn't work out between him and his new girlfriend, and without knowing this I just asked him to do this thing for me for drama, and we ended up re-connecting, but I wasn't sure if it was just me who felt it. We started talking more again, he started flirting with me again, it was just like old times. This carried on for a couple of weeks. Then last night he asked me to go to a bar with him, since loads of our friends were going. We ended up talking loads, then we kissed, made out... and then he started talking about everything and told me that he really wants to see me more when I'm free, and I told him he always says things like this and called him a liar (but not in a rude aggressive way, just in an 'im being totally sweet and honest' way), and then he said he means it, and that he adores me and that we connect on a deeper level, etc. and that before he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Then I brought up his new girlfriend he had, and he said it wasn't at all serious, it was like 'nothing'. Anyway, then he said he would want one with me now, the only problem is that I need to trust him, and also that when he goes to university he doesn't want to break my heart, but then he said if we really end up loving each other it might not matter. I kept being sceptical of whether he really meant what he was saying, because of all the stuff that has happeend between us, but he kept reassuring me telling me he adores me etc., and that he missed me when we broke up. I was reciprocating the hugging and kissing etc. but I wasn't being as 'into him' with what I was acutally saying compared to all the stuff he said to me.

 

I left the bar as a very confused girl!

 

Also, its the next morning at 2pm and he still hasn't called...do I text him?

 

I would really appreciate advice on any aspect of my situation right now! XXX

[DN]

Don't text him - let him come to you. You need proof that he really wants a relationship with you - so don't sleep with him if you go out with him until you are sure that he is being genuine. I also think you need to know more about what he would do to keep a relationship strong when he is at university.

[Mrocza]

I agree with DN. I believe in second chances, but then again this guy had the prime chance and had to figure out he really wanted you after he hooked up with the other girl...and so soon after dumping you?

 

Something in me tells me he wants to have his cake and eat it too...and you've got one foot on the platter.

 

There's one thing you need to know...Most guys don't pay attention to what you're saying to be into them, but what you're doing. If you're not replying to his proposals of like but you're all over him and making out with him at the bar...well, chances are, you weren't subtle enough to let him get the picture.

 

You should have acted more aloof. You shouldn't have let him have all the goodies at once...otherwise, he'll know that you'll accept him with open arms and mouth even after sweetly telling him he's a liar.

 

You should have done the opposite; been flirty to him verbally, but stayed far away physically. He is suposed to prove himself to you; you are suposed to show that you consider yourself something to work hard for to be with.

 

And now he's not calling before your "date". Well, most guys are phone-challenged so it might not be anything, or he may not feel the need to call because you'll be there anyway.

 

Don't call him or text him. Like DN said, let him come to you.

 

And if he doesn't, his loss.