Trying to make a baby

[southerngirl]

Im trying to conceive. I have an 8 year old and a 15 month old.. Both are boys.. I really really want a girl.

 

I was on birthcontrol for the first six months after my youngest was born and now been off of the pill for about 9 months.

 

Im frustrated that Im not knocked up yet by my mr... Thought I would share that with ya all..

[Mrocza]

How old are you??

 

Chances of pregancy under 30 are something like 1/5 and over thirty they become 1/20.

 

Why don't you buy one of those fertility thermometres...?

[avman]

Personally I've found that the secret to having children is to give up trying. Then it seems we were able to get pregnant immediately. I don't have any scientific data, but I'm convinced that the more you stress about trying to have children the less likely you are to conceive.

 

If you end up going 12-18 months and not being able to conceive you can always go in for some testing to see whether infertility is playing a part. But otherwise try to relax and be comfortable with your two children and not be so focused on having that third one. You may find that it makes things much easier for both of you.

[RayKay]

Im trying to conceive. I have an 8 year old and a 15 month old.. Both are boys.. I really really want a girl.

 

I was on birthcontrol for the first six months after my youngest was born and now been off of the pill for about 9 months.

 

Im frustrated that Im not knocked up yet by my mr... Thought I would share that with ya all..

Hey southern, generally they won't consider you as having fertility problems until you have been trying for a year, unless you were previously diagnosed with a problem.

 

A lot of it comes down to chance....

 

Are you monitoring your cycle - as in taking your temp, checking cervical mucous, etc to see when you are most likely to get pregnant (ie be ovulating)? Generally it is recommended you have sex about 2 days before ovulation and day of (reason not everyday is because the sperm quality can lessen!).

 

Are you eating healthy, exercising, a healthy weight, low stress? When these are all in the negative, it can also impact your ability to conceive! This goes for the hubby as well! Even being a little overweight can really impact fertility.

 

If in three more months there is still no pink line.....I would consult a doctor to get further tests (ie for PCOS, or scarring) as well as get your partner tested too. But until then, relax...worrying about it won't help things move along!

[southerngirl]

Im 28..

 

To be honest I do think about it alot. A whole lot LOL

[southerngirl]

I dont know how to moniter all this stuff.. temps etc.

 

I havent mentioned it to my doctor yet that Im even trying again. Although Im healthy otherwise I did have two cecearians & I wonder if that has any affect on it.. I would not think that it does

 

What brought all this up is that once again , 'aunt flo' has just stopped visiting. When me and mr had our baby we tried for about 2 and a half months and then BAMM i was pregnant.. But Ill tell you we were like rabbits.. not on any planned times and sometimes more than once a day. Was tiring but it worked.

[muffin cakes]

How old are you??

 

Chances of pregancy under 30 are something like 1/5 and over thirty they become 1/20.

 

Where did you get this infomation? Is there a website that u can direct me too.

mu

[RayKay]

I dont know how to moniter all this stuff.. temps etc.

 

I havent mentioned it to my doctor yet that Im even trying again. Although Im healthy otherwise I did have two cecearians & I wonder if that has any affect on it.. I would not think that it does

 

What brought all this up is that once again , 'aunt flo' has just stopped visiting. When me and mr had our baby we tried for about 2 and a half months and then BAMM i was pregnant.. But Ill tell you we were like rabbits.. not on any planned times and sometimes more than once a day. Was tiring but it worked.

 

There are tons of sites out there (ie pregnancylounge) that have information on this, and you can also talk to your OB/GYN about it.

 

C-sections would not limit chances unless there was scar tissue as a result of surgery or infection post-surgery.

 

I guess just keep trying like rabbits, and see what happens!

 

Have you taken a test recently?

[southerngirl]

NO, I havent taken a test recently.. I thought I could be about 2 months ago.. Bought a test got my hopes up and was sooo depressed for days afterword and of course i started the next day! BLAH!

 

So I told myself I wasnt going to take another test unless I was late.. when I took the other test I wasnt that late and I think it was more wishful thinking.

[Mrocza]

How old are you??

 

Chances of pregancy under 30 are something like 1/5 and over thirty they become 1/20.

 

Where did you get this infomation? Is there a website that u can direct me too.

mu

 

I actually read it somewhere, but I'm trying to google it.

 

I found this however...

 

Diet

 

Both you and your partner should follow the dietary recommendations explained in the Nutrition Section (link removed) Although it goes without saying that a healthy diet is crucial to a successful pregnancy and a healthy baby, many people are unaware of the fact that diet can help to correct hormone imbalances that may affect your ability to conceive. There are also certain foods and drinks that are known to lower fertility.

 

Alcohol

 

Alcohol will affect both you and your partner. In fact, drinking any alcohol at all can reduce your fertility by half - and the more you drink, the less likely you are to conceive. One study showed that women who drank less than 5 units of alcohol a week (equal to five glasses of wine) were twice as likely to get pregnant within six-months compared with those who drank more.

Research has also shown that drinking alcohol causes a decrease in sperm count, an increase in abnormal sperm and a lower proportion of motile sperm. Alcohol also inhibits the body's absorption of nutrients such as zinc, which is one of the most important minerals for male fertility.

As difficult as it may seem, you should eliminate alcohol from your diets for at least three months in order to give yourself the best possible chance of conceiving.

 

Caffeine

 

There is plenty of evidence to show that caffeine, particularly in the form of coffee, decreases fertility. Drinking as little as one cup of coffee a day can halve your chances of conceiving. On study showed that problems with sperm: sperm count, motility and abnormalities, increase with the number of cups of coffee consumed each day. Once again, it's important to eliminate all caffeine-containing food and drinks for at least three months before trying to conceive. That includes colas, chocolate, black teas and coffee, among other things.

 

Xenoestrogens

 

Xenoestrogens are essentially environmental oestrogens, coming from pesticides and the plastic industry. When you are trying to conceive, one of the most important things you need to do is to balance your hormones. It is extremely important to avoid anything that might cause an imbalance, and one of the main culprits is the xenoestrogens. One of the best ways to eliminate an excess intake of xenoestrogens is to buy organic produce for the pre-conceptual period.

 

Smoking

 

Smoking has definitely been linked with infertility in women. It can even bring on an early menopause, which is a particularly important consideration for older women who may be trying to beat the clock. Smoking can decrease sperm count in men, making the sperm more sluggish, and it can increase the number of abnormal sperm. With men, the effects on fertility are increased with the number of cigarettes.

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[michelemybell]

Hi southerngirl, I understand your frustration of wanting another baby, but you are already blessed with two heathly sons. And between your youngest son and oldest son, you have your hands full. Can you honestly pay enough attention to the two you have with another newborn around? Honestly, I dont understand the urge of women to want another baby just because they want a girl or a boy. Do you want a girl for ego/selfish purposes, someone for your boys to take care of, someone you think you can bond with better, or that they're fun to dress up? I dont understand.

I know some men like that too---two guys I know had two girls with their wives and tried again for a boy. Of course they both got another girl. That's another question I have to ask---What happens if you have another boy? Are you going to try again until you get a girl?

I honestly would be happy with one child of any sex.

[southerngirl]

I have allways wanted a girl. Yes, I can pay attention to another child... Im a kept woman and I dont work.. I dont have to work... I could if I chose too but at the moment I choose not to do it.

 

Even if the worse happened and I was a single mother I have enough love in me for more babies.. Oh and you know what? Girls are fun to dress up.. Im sick of boring boy clothes and boy toys and boy games and boy problems.. I want some pink and pony tails and ribbons and bows.

 

As for would I have more? No, I want one more child and sadly because I have to have a c-section to deliver I was told by my doctor that one more is it that my body can not handle more. After he told me that it makes me desparately want to have that last baby.. Girl or boy I would feel blessed and god willing I will have another baby one day.

 

 

You say you would be happy with only one child. Do you have children?

[BellaDonna]

I honestly would be happy with one child of any sex.

 

Me too.

 

 

And between your youngest son and oldest son, you have your hands full. Can you honestly pay enough attention to the two you have with another newborn around? Honestly, I dont understand the urge of women to want another baby just because they want a girl or a boy. Do you want a girl for ego/selfish purposes, someone for your boys to take care of, someone you think you can bond with better, or that they're fun to dress up? I dont understand.

 

I don't believe in having children just in the hopes of having a child of a particular gender. However it seems that southerngirl genuinely wants to be a mom again. She thinks it would be fun to have a girl because she already has 2 boys. It would be a different experience. If she does not have a girl, I'm sure she won't love the baby any less. I'm sure southenrgirl and her husband know for themselves if they can handle it, since they already have 2 little ones. They are very experienced. They will have plenty of attention to give to all of their kids. I'm one of 3 kids, and we always had attention. I also have both a brother and a sister- and I'm thankful to have been able to grow up with both a male and female sibling.

 

 

Good luck southerngirl! Keep trying like rabbits.....and have fun while doing it....

 

BellaDonna

[RayKay]

I would be happy with one child of any sex too, but I also would love to have more then one if I can, of whatever sex. I grew up with brothers and sisters and loved that, my partner is from a family of four boys, and he loved his upbringing too, so it is all relative!

 

I am sure southerngirl and her partner have thought this out for themself. I am sure they know if they have their hands full or not - I have even heard the third IS easier as you have gone through both new parent jitters and adapting to having more then one....

 

I think there is nothing wrong with wanting boys and girls, and if you don't have both, it does not mean you love your children any less! I am sure if they had a boy they would love THAT child as well, because EVERY child is different.

 

I went to school with a girl whom was one of NINE children - ALL girls. I think they always wanted a boy, but they loved every one of their daughters (my siblings were classmates of a couple of those daughters too!). And yes, they could afford them both financially and emotionally!

 

My mother had three children, and always wanted another, but ended up gaining a stepson through re-marriage to make it 4 in the end. And she loved all of us tremendously, and I was a bigger gap in age from my younger siblings (I am eldest).

 

Anyway, point is, if you want to have another child, and believe it's right thing, know you can provide for it, there is no reason why you can't. And I don't think there is anything wrong with hoping it's a girl or boy - but ultimately most would say in the end what matters to them most is they are healthy.

[Ash]

My partner and I had five children between us, we wanted one together so now we have six kids, three of who are with us full time, the other three about 1/3 of the time (and climbing!). So, just because there are one or two (or more) kids around doesn't make a mom want to stop being a mom! It's a family, not a succession of unrelated babies. The older siblings always interact with the younger.

 

We were lucky, we didn't have to try. We know exactly when it happened, and it was the first time it was possible (ie, first time we did not use birth control). She had tried for over two years with her ex to have another child, and had essentially given up hope after the doctors told her she was more than likely infertile due to earlier complications. She had two sections with her first two children. However, the issue more than likely was her ex having too few swimmers, rather than her although it's difficult to say.

 

Make sure Mr is doing everything he can to assist in the attempts to have kids. He should be healthy and well hydrated. If he can delay a bit through extended foreplay he might find his quantity is higher, and although there may not be more sperm, there will be more fluid for them to move about in ... Also, pre-ejaculate (as you likely know) tends to flush him out (some of what's in urine tends to knock off sperm) so that's another reason for an extended foreplay session before hand.

 

I've also heard depending on exact timing, conception can either perhaps slightly favour a girl or a boy as there is a slight difference in "girl" and "boy" sperm. I think the boys are quicker but don't last as long, the girls slower but can swim further so it has to do with how far away the egg is. This could be total bunk, or it might make a fraction of a different, I'm not sure.

[Scout]

You could always adopt a little girl. There sure are enough that need a loving home, and can you image how rewarding it would feel to spoil a little girl with ribbons, pretty dresses, and toys who previously had nothing in her life...not even parents?

 

Just my take if the fertility issue gets to be a really frustrating one for you.

[southerngirl]

Thats right, I would love the baby regardless of it's sex. I do still want a girl though. I think I allways have dreamed of it. I had one brother.. I also had parents that remarried and their spouses already had kids so from that I got 4 more step-brothers and two-step sisters. Alot of kids.

 

I think though there my have been less competition between me and my brother had their been another sibling.. There would have been 3 instead of just us two. Thanks for the luck! oh and YES its FUN!

 

 

 

I loved having lots of brothers and sisters, even though they were step.. There was allways somoene to talk to that knew me well!

 

 

 

Thats right, its about a family. Family is a wonderful thing.

 

 

 

Oh, ill definitely mention the foreplay thing! That sounds like a whole lot of fun! haha Thanks for the advice

 

 

 

Im not sure either but we actually debated going to a fertility doctor to get them to help us with the sex we wanted. I have heard of a technique where they use a dye to separate the x and y sperms... but then we feel that would be messing to much with mother nature and I really don't know about that. So we trashed that idea.

 

 

 

Adoption is allways an option. In fact, me and Mr have discussed this as well. If we can not have another child or if we end up with a 3rd son.... I could really see myself going into foster to adopt later on down the road. I love children. Id say even if I did have a girl... I could see myself doing this later in life.

[snowgirl]

This is a forum that has a lot of knowledgeable people on it, and there is a lot of support. Stop by and read a bit.

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[southerngirl]

Thank you! Im looking at that

[Mrocza]

Good luck!

 

My mother's little brother's wife...Ack, my aunt, just recently turned 34 and had a baby girl! Not planned at all either....

 

Her two boys are 11 and 6 and she always wanted a girl...

 

Now we have a little 4 month old baby to spoil. Most of the stuff is spontaneous, but you could try some of those health tips or monitoring or go straight to professionals