12 days of no contact

[mmaurer6]

No advice from anyone???? I would appreciate any help.

[michelemybell]

Hi Marc,

My take on this conversation is that she means exactly what she is saying. She likes you a lot, but she wants to explore what is out there. I know this is hard to hear--I've been in your shoes before. The thing is you gotta remember this---Try your hardest not to take it personally. There may have been someone in your past that liked you more than you were willing to give. They could've been the nicest, most beautiful person in the world. But you wanted the freedom to do what you want. It could be out of her own insecurity--There are tons of people like that who constantly need validation from others because honestly, they dont have much self-esteem within themselves to be liked by one person. (The problem is, she'll find out that the pattern will be repeated in the next relationship). As I mentioned in my previous post, she's picking the "bad boy" because of low self esteem. But there is nothing you can do about it. She has to learn this lesson herself.

What you need to do now Marc is to take this opportunity to be the best person you can be. Take care of your health, exercise. Try to look and feel your best. Accomplish things at school and/or work. Whatever you do, dont pour your heart out to your ex. The best would be to go into NC mode because it might be very hard for you to talk to her right now (even though I know you want to talk to her). Just stay focused on moving forward because everytime you get weak and slip back, it's a strike against you. Get strong inside for yourself. The added benefit is that she will see this in you and will probably come back around. But you gotta get this confidence back in yourself.

You need to see that movie "Swingers" if you haven't already done so. (It took place during the swing dance craze, hence the name). The main character goes through exactly the same situation you are going through.

The ending is classic.

Michele