Do lesbians care so much about weight too?

[polka]

Hi everyone!

 

Um...this may seem like an odd question, but I kind of just came out to myself and everyone around me, so I don't really know a lot yet...

 

I used to date men, even when I didn't want to, but I realized that they tended to care less about my body weight and what I wore than I did. In fact, while my friends and I were all trying to look model thin, men told me that they preferred a gal with some flesh over a model's bony body. They liked a little bit of a butt and didn't mind the occasional stomach pouch.

 

I know that girls are generally more critical of girls than guys are though. I know that a lot of girls think model thin is beautiful, and that having an average body isn't. So now that I'm ready to date girls, I'm wondering if lesbians feel this way too. Or do they not care as much if you do not have the perfect body, or are not model skinny, etc.?

 

I know everyone is different and has diff. preferences, but I guess I'm just looking for a majority-type answer here. Like, people always say that the majority of guys like curvier women. And that the majority of girls hate their bodies and wish they were thinner. Do I still have a chance for lesbians to think I'm beautiful even if I'm not as skinny as I wish?

 

For additional information, my body type is petite. I have a small frame and so am on the lower end of average, but I still do have a tiny stomach pouch and I am bottom heavy. Definitely a pear-shape. I am also not leggy, though I've always wished I was.

 

(And yes, if you have not noticed, I have always had body confidence issues. But I still want to hear the truth, even if i won't like it!)

[JustAHuman]

This is my answer to your question.

 

The woman I have feelings for is kind of short, has a tiny stomach pouch and actually has that pear-shape you described...and she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

[ComputerGuy]

I honestly can't see it being any different really. I mean look at it like this - just like evry other sexuality everyone comes in different shapes and sizes and there is no "perfect" size or whatever. Some will like it, some won't, some won't care either way. I don't think there will really be too much difference in it to be honest.

[Cadence308]

It depends on the woman. For me, I don't like model thin women, but really appreciate a woman who exercises, eats well, and takes care of herself and cares about her health. That is a really big turn on for me since I care about these things for myself.

 

That being said, a woman who is toned with some muscle is really sexy. But, when she's soft in the right places, it's hot, too.

[polka]

I honestly can't see it being any different really. I mean look at it like this - just like evry other sexuality everyone comes in different shapes and sizes and there is no "perfect" size or whatever. Some will like it, some won't, some won't care either way. I don't think there will really be too much difference in it to be honest.

 

Hmm...I guess it's because I've only really hung around straight girls for most of my life, and they are all VERY critical of other women's bodies. I mean, they always manage to find some non-existant piece of flab or fat to poke fun of, and they only ever go "wow, she's beautiful" if the women looks like Angelina Jolie. But I've never been able to figure out if this was just a straight woman thing...kind of like if they say it because they're jealous, or because they wished they looked that way, etc. And it makes me wonder if lesbians, women are actually ATTRACTED to other women, see women's bodies differently. Maybe not as critically.

 

I do try to tone up, and I am pretty tone, except for my tummy which seems to have a permanent small pouch. And I have tone thighs, but they are huge. No matter how much I work out, I will always be a pear. Which I've learned to accept, since men haven't seemed to worry about it though I know straight girls who have told me I could lose some bottom weight.

[Tigris]

Well I have a large frame and am about 15-16 stones. My Fiancee loves me just the way I am. I keep telling her I could do with losing a few stones but she says she likes me cuddly.

 

I suppose the other thing is that she doesn't mind because she used to be 26 stone (before I met her) and she's lost loads of weight and is now 13 stone! I keep telling her not to lose anymore weight because I like to be able to cuddle her.

 

There's a saying, 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!'

 

It means that everyone has their own preference.

[neolithic]

well, i'll give you insight from my roommate's perspective. she's a total lesbian, i'm just bi.. so i think she'd make more sense. she wants to be really really skinny, like the L word's shane, right, but her ex-girlfriend whom she looooved and adored, was NOT skinny. she had big hips, very pear-shaped, like you mentioned.

 

i prefer girls who have boobs and hips and shaped legs. skinny girls always seem like they would be a terrible lay.. in crude terms.. not soft or anything like that. i even look for somewhat feminine-shaped guys..

 

don't worry about your body type. as long as you're not really overweight or unhealthy, it's going to be attractive to someone.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

As a bisexual female (currently with a guy) I'd say I like slim to very slim bodies for either gender, but it certainly isnt the be-all and end-all...I see it as a bonus if they look like that, not a deal breaker.

[ComputerGuy]

I mean, they always manage to find some non-existant piece of flab or fat to poke fun of, and they only ever go "wow, she's beautiful" if the women looks like Angelina Jolie.

 

Just so you know, me and a lot of my friends agree that we have absolutely no idea what's so attractive about Angelina Jolie or half these skinny actresses/models that girls seem to try and measure up to. It's an insecurity/jealousy thing in my honest opinion.

[UT]

Sexuality is only sexuality. it doesn't affect our view on how one should look to be attractive. How someone should look to be attractive is individual, preferance is individual and sexuality has very little to do with it. The only thing that sexuality might change is whether we prefere the person to have male or female extremities.

 

It's about how shallow one is and sadly gay men are often protrayed as feminine, shallow, skinny, interested in fashion etc. but this does not apply to all of us. I can say that I don't know anything about fashion and/or design.

[AzureSkyes69]

I am a Bi female who tends to lean towards women.My preferance is in woman and men anywhere from average to a thinner build.But I would and have gone out with someone overweight,it would have alot to do with the person themselves,to me it does not matter as long as they are a good person,there is chemistry & they take care of themselves.I also happen to be overweight and my gf loves me the way I am.My gf is an average size with curves in all the right places and really nice boobs and bottom.;-) although she is not model thin she is absoultly stunningly beautiful,I would not want her any other way.But if she were heavier or thinner it would not make a diffrence to me because I love her..but in 100% honnesty I would prefer her as she is now or heavier cause I do love something to hold on to(I like the cuddle factor) haha.

I have made a decision to loose some extra lbs (for myself) she has no problem with that the only thing she said is "don't loose too much I want curves on you".I myself think a woman should have curves...but that's just me.

 

I guess it is just what your prefrence is.

[Caterina]

I'd think that the preference for certain body shapes would still be there for a lesbian. If she likes curvy women, then curvy women are hot...if she likes thin, waif women,then the waif woman is hot...

[Jinx]

I think as another poster mentioned, I forgot which one I read that had it but idea credit as it applies to this post goes to them, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Truly.

 

Just the other day, myself and a straight male friend were walking along minding our own business but casually glimpsed at a group of 20-some women walking diagonal to us. He said the one could have thinner legs, I said she looks perfect. Its a matter of opinion. Whereas the next person, we agreed entirely on and the last it was a kind of mutual "so so". Really, I think beauty does have its basics but is also fluid.

 

On another level, out of all the women I've been interested in, only one has been your model type body. I'm not much for the anorexic look, or generally too thin, yet I'm not a fan of overly obese either. Yet anything in the happy medium does. I'm not really picky as personally I believe personality lasts a lifetime; looks last during our youth.

 

I'm more likely to develop an interest in a woman's psychological and emotional base before the physical. If I click with that, weight is just another factor of life, period. Though I would say I'd nitpick to the degree that I couldn't live with a couch potatoe that hates exercise of any type. I personally enjoy a lot of out and about activities and need someone who can keep pace with me, and I can keep pace with her, too.

 

In the overall if I'm going to have a personal type, I much prefer petite feminine women, but that doesn't limit me at all. I just don't know how well I'd deal with the woman who looked like a Butch Amazon in comparison. In that light even height is more important to me than weight. There are so many men I swear I'm going to get a neck cramp trying to talk to them. I'm only 5'3"-5'4" range, in the middle road and get these guys (or even a couple women I know in my case) that are like almost 6' or are or over, some of these people are like giants to me. Let us forget the whole kissing issue we've got with height thing.