polka

You have GOT to be kidding me. I don't care if you were joking. That really isn't very funny. In addition, I think Carnatic's idea of "inherent masculinity" and "women really want a man, not a wuss" is ridiculous. This is yet another assumption being made about women. Not all women want a manly man, you know. I for one really don't like "manly men"...they turn me off completely. Yes, women may want a man who "stands up for himself", but I don't see how standing up for yourself is a "manly/masculine trait", as you implied. Who says so? Can't standing up for yourself be a unisexual trait? Plenty of women are able to stand up for themselves too. I'd just say that they have confidence and assertiveness, not that they have "manly traits". Standing up for yourself can be a very female trait too! Yet, Carnatic specifically stated that women like a man who stands up for himself because he portrays manly traits. Oh, and I hate to burst your bubble, but "crazy feminist man-hating lawyers" really don't go randomly attacking and sueing innocent men for rape/sexual harassment just for the sake of it. They may choose to take on more cases of sexual harassment or rape because it resonates with their particular moral beliefs and interests, but I can't see one just going after an innocent man just because they're crazy feminists. Like everyone else has said, sexual harassment and rape is very real. For every case of sexual harassment/rape that is brought to court, ten more remain untold. That's because people still tend to blame the woman for "bringing it on", such as blaming her for wearing a skirt too tight or for giving her guy friend "signs". It is also a very shameful feeling, to be defiled in such a way, and many women simply want to leave the past behind and move on with their life without letting anyone know.

May I just say to everyone... thank you so much for your intelligent replies. After reading this, I've realized that those kind of guys who tell other guys what to do really are in the minority! Hmm...you ask me where I heard these guys giving their "bad advice". Well, no I'm not in high school. I'm a sophomore in college, but I skipped a grade and have always been younger than my peers. But I have heard this kind of advice being given on some eNotAlone threads, although you are right...it's only just the same two or three people. And I've also read advice by that web guru guy...DiAngelo or something, I believe. He writes weekly newsletters about how to snag a girl, and he's always stressing "BE COCKY, IGNORE THEM, WOMEN LIKE TO BE CONTROLLED" and frankly, he really gets on my nerves. It makes me sad to know that a lot of people still subscribe to his stuff and believe him. But like I said, I'm glad this is really only the minority on eNotAlone that believes advice like that. And you're right...I wasn't referring to ALL guys in my first post, just some. I'm just worried that some very nice guys who can't get girls may start to take the advice of these other guys who think girls like to be controlled and ignored. I wouldn't want a sweet, nice guy, turning into a mean, controlling one due to misinformation! Like I mentioned before, most of my friends date very nice guys. One of them is dating someone who is so nice you wouldn't even be able to believe it. He's also very shy, and weird looking, but my friend thinks he has a heart of gold and is crazy over him. I DO have an ex-friend who dates a complete jerk, but this girl generally has lots of issues of her own and drives most people insane. Yes, she is very physically attractive, so I can see why some nice guys may see her with a jerk and assume that you have to be a jerk to get a girl like that, but I personally would never want to date a girl like her. And I know many more well-adjusted, equally sexy ladies who are perfectly happy with their nice boyfriends.

I'm new here, but I've been reading on previous postings and I have a friend who is a member here, and it seems that there is quite a bit of advice on how guys should be cocky and should "embarrass girls" and should control girls to get girls, because girls "like this". I have read men tell other men that girls like to be dominated, that they like to have someone to follow around, that they like to have some guy who makes fun of her and ignores her, etc. etc. But you know what? Why are men telling men about other girls? So far, I haven't read any women telling men that they like to be dominated, that they like to be made fun of and ignored. It's the men telling men this. But how do men know women more than we know ourselves? I am sick of men telling other men that women don't like "nice guys". You know what? I have PLENTY of friends who date nice guys long-term, and who just want to slap a guy whenever he tries to use those stupid cocky techniques of his, which really DON'T WORK unless the girl is drunk silly, in which case she's not worth your time anyway. I have plenty of friends who are actually turned off by cocky guys, even if the cocky guy is good looking. He can be super hot, but if he thinks he is "the man" and that he can make stupid, arrogant passes at girls, he just becomes another loser who only the shallow, superficial girls want to be with. And believe me, those girls aren't worth your time, unless you're shallow and superficial too.

Hmm...I guess it's because I've only really hung around straight girls for most of my life, and they are all VERY critical of other women's bodies. I mean, they always manage to find some non-existant piece of flab or fat to poke fun of, and they only ever go "wow, she's beautiful" if the women looks like Angelina Jolie. But I've never been able to figure out if this was just a straight woman thing...kind of like if they say it because they're jealous, or because they wished they looked that way, etc. And it makes me wonder if lesbians, women are actually ATTRACTED to other women, see women's bodies differently. Maybe not as critically. I do try to tone up, and I am pretty tone, except for my tummy which seems to have a permanent small pouch. And I have tone thighs, but they are huge. No matter how much I work out, I will always be a pear. Which I've learned to accept, since men haven't seemed to worry about it though I know straight girls who have told me I could lose some bottom weight.

Hi everyone! Um...this may seem like an odd question, but I kind of just came out to myself and everyone around me, so I don't really know a lot yet... I used to date men, even when I didn't want to, but I realized that they tended to care less about my body weight and what I wore than I did. In fact, while my friends and I were all trying to look model thin, men told me that they preferred a gal with some flesh over a model's bony body. They liked a little bit of a butt and didn't mind the occasional stomach pouch. I know that girls are generally more critical of girls than guys are though. I know that a lot of girls think model thin is beautiful, and that having an average body isn't. So now that I'm ready to date girls, I'm wondering if lesbians feel this way too. Or do they not care as much if you do not have the perfect body, or are not model skinny, etc.? I know everyone is different and has diff. preferences, but I guess I'm just looking for a majority-type answer here. Like, people always say that the majority of guys like curvier women. And that the majority of girls hate their bodies and wish they were thinner. Do I still have a chance for lesbians to think I'm beautiful even if I'm not as skinny as I wish? For additional information, my body type is petite. I have a small frame and so am on the lower end of average, but I still do have a tiny stomach pouch and I am bottom heavy. Definitely a pear-shape. I am also not leggy, though I've always wished I was. (And yes, if you have not noticed, I have always had body confidence issues. But I still want to hear the truth, even if i won't like it!)