sorry to bug everyone again

[b8s]

i woke up this morning sad. i slept terribly and had crazy dreams they were all about him being mean to me (trying to get me in trouble at work etc. ) just weird stupid things. so when i woke up i am saying to myself why does he hate me...

 

the other thing is when im reading what other people post, there are lots about the exs calling after having a few drinks.

well for the last 3 weeks since the brake up he has been out drinking most nights and i have never gotten a call to talk or for booty.. haha dont worry i turn my ringer off before i go to sleep, so i wouldnt answer if he did call.

it just makes me sad because he is my only ex ever to want nothing to do with me. ( talking, booty of just to see how i am ) he is doing the n/c so easy i just feel like he never cared at all. and i am easily forgettable.

 

thanks for listening

[b8s]

i think i'm also just feeling sorry for myself!

[Scout]

First of all, you're not bugging us. The whole point of this forum is to get support and feedback when we're going through difficult or challenging times.

 

I personally think your ex clearly has more respect for you then as a "booty call." Maybe he doesn't want a relationship at this point, and I know that's sad for you. But in your heart, you know that you wouldn't want him to contact you because he was drunk and wanted to get laid.

 

Hang in there. These are the toughest times of a break up, but you're going to get through it, no matter how hard it seems right now. You're stronger than you know.

[deejay74]

hey, my ex hasn't contacted me either (although she's a female). it may be best that he doesn't because from the sound of your post, it would seem like you would be looking for some "signs" that he desires you still.

 

it's tough, i am going through it and i know you want him to call also to make you feel like he still cares about you. i think my ex hates me even though i made a couple of stupid mistakes since the break up, but it was nothing major. i guess she's not mature enough to forgive me even though i have aplogized.

 

my point it, for me and you both, it's probably best they don't contact us.

 

hang in there - we'll both be okay in time.

[b8s]

no i defenitly don't want to be a booty call NEVER. as i said i turn my phone off at night so i wouldnt hear it if there was one. but it would make me think he misses me as oppose to me feeling like he really doesn't care any he doesn't think about me at all. how is he so strong when it comes to this brake up and he wasnt with anything else???

 

im going to a singles mixer tonight. never been to one before. im not going to make a new b/f but i am hoping i can make some new friends and i will be getting out of the house.

[Scout]

That sounds like a terrific idea! See...I'm right, you are stronger than you realize. You're actually making yourself get out of the house, even though you feel less than chipper.

 

I honestly don't know if he misses you. It's hard to say. But, I think once you can accept that maybe its your ego that is hurting more than your heart, you'll be able to handle this from a more objective point of view.

 

And if he doesn't miss you, it IS NOT a reflection of your personal self-worth and value! Some people, no matter how much we want them to, will never see or appreciate our best traits. It does suck, especially if we care about them, but eventually we meet someone who treasures EVERYTHING about us.

 

You will, too!

[beyonddevastated]

I feel ya over there. It's been 2 days since my bf of 4 years said he needs "space". I think I'm gonna send him an email in a couple days if I dont hear from him. Maybe try to reassure him that we can be better together...I dont know. But anyway, I feel your pain. It'd the worst feeling I have ever felt.

[byates5637]

Hey, i know how you feel about those dreams. I dream of my ex still almost every night. It makes me feel terrible. They will stop with time i think. I hope. It has only been one month for me.

 

Consider yourself lucky that your ex doesn't call you when he is out drinking. My ex called me last night crazy drunk, I mean i was drunk too, but not even close to as drunk as her. She just mumbled crazy stuff too me for 30 minutes and made me worry about her like crazy. She wouldn't tell me where she was which made me very worried, and then it turned out she was at her house. So i tell her "I love you, bye" and she just says "bye". what a bitc*.

 

Then she called twice this morning to try and apologize and ask to "hang out."

 

Believe me, your much better off just not talking to him at all.

[b8s]

yeah i know it's best he doesn't call me. but if he did it would let me know this sucks for him too. and every time i have seen him at work he looks fine! i know guys handle there emotions differently but i would sure love to know he is having a hard time too!!! selfish? yes but thats the way i feel right now. i know down the road i will want the best for him, i do now but.... well if you've been dumped i think you know what i mean.. its hard to explain!

[Spawn]

i would sure love to know he is having a hard time too!!!

 

Some people just don't like showing emotions, like my ex she acts very practical in life but she cries when she is alone or used to cry a lot when she used to be around me. When the feeling resides they try looking at it in a different way and try to be friends with ya, now thats selfish.

 

Hang in there and stay strong.

[possibiliti]

How was your single mixer night ? Hope you have had some fun and helped you take your mind off a little.

 

I am sure your ex is thinking of you, most likely missing you. But at this stage of the situation, maybe keeping in contact/meeting up just prolong the pain and healing process.

 

It is very hard to keep a person you used to be so close with out of your life. I am not dealing well with this lingering sadness either. But after all, it takes two to make a relationship last, and such an effort just can not be forced.

[b8s]

well the mixer was a bust and i ended up back at home by 9 but oh well, i tried it i have one more on wed if that one is no good then i'm done with them.. the last time i talked to him was thurs night. im definitly glad his phone was off on fri when i called. with him not knowing it makes day 3 n/c. i dont have to see him at work this week until wed.

i guess i will say hi and thats it when i do see him. as each day goes by im beginning to think maybe i liked having someone around and not nessisarily him. who knows. if thats the case then im glad he ended it. but this could also be me trying to make excuses!!!

[possibiliti]

It is a good thing and important you are trying to get things moving. Little by little you will build up some strength by doing things on your own. Your confidence and independence will come back.

 

I have spent a lot of time feeling misrable and hiding away. Just recently I start doing things to make some changes. It works out fine so far, and I do feel a little better going different place, meeting different people, doing different things than the usual.

 

The fact that you have to see him at work definitely makes NC a bit difficult. Try ignoring everything bothers you - walk away, start a conversation with your favorite co-worker, run out to call your friend/family, think a happy thought of your own.