When to get profesional help

[byates5637]

I am really a wreck from my recent breakup. I am finding it nearly impossible to give up hope of us getting back together even though i know she doesn't want me. I obsess about her all day. I barely eat anymore. I cannot stand the lonliness.

 

Is there a time when i decide my pain is too much for a normal break-up and seek a therapist? Has anyone here had any experience going to see a therapist, and did it actually help you?

 

edit- And if you do seek a therapist, how do you go about finding one that specializes in the area you are having trouble with?

[annie24]

I've seen a therapist (about other stuff) and actually started discussing my recent breakup with her.

 

Well, depending on your health insurance, you can ask if you can be matched with a therapist who specializes in relationships (as opposed to say, addiction).

 

Yeah, I think not being able to eat or sleep is crossing over into the "needs therapy" territory. It's ok. I think that therapy can really help you get to the bottom of things.

 

However, it's not like you're going to go to therapy and automatically feel better. The therapist will probably ask you some pretty tough questions and really make you confront all your bad feelings. I usually walk out of therapy crying, but I do feel better, once I've thought about my issues and come to terms with them.

 

good luck. I hope it all works out. (((HUGS))))

[dstanzler]

I was in therapy for 6 months after my breakup and it didn't calm me down and it didn't give me hope for us in the future and it didn't offer me any innovative techniques to move on.

 

Therapy is basically having an empathetic coach/emotionaly friend tell you what is professionally healthy.

 

While enotalone has its pessemists and no-contact tirants all you need is a few objective and optimistic friends to give you hugs when you're feeling down.

 

HUGS. Go kick * * *.

 

Dave

[annie24]

Oh yeah, my therapist doesn't give me hugs. She basically makes me examine why things bother me, how they do, and trying to come up with the source of my feelings.

 

It's not always fun, but making emotional progress can be challenging, but ultimately, worth it.

[Lady Bugg]

Hey Byates...

 

I think counseling or even a support group dealing with your specific issues will defeinetely be beneficial. Asking for help is not a weak thing to do...in fact it may save your sanity.

 

Personally, I like support groups, that allow you to be as open and honest as possible. You can and will hear stories from other people so you DON'T feel so alone. As long as you're doing it as a way to work through it and not feed your "obsession". If you can't find a support group dealing with your issue, then start your OWN support group. Treat it as an "AA" meeting would be. Make coffee...and have a topic you all wish to discuss each week or whatever.

Just an idea....

[deejay74]

I am really a wreck from my recent breakup. I am finding it nearly impossible to give up hope of us getting back together even though i know she doesn't want me. I obsess about her all day. I barely eat anymore. I cannot stand the lonliness.

 

Is there a time when i decide my pain is too much for a normal break-up and seek a therapist? Has anyone here had any experience going to see a therapist, and did it actually help you?

 

edit- And if you do seek a therapist, how do you go about finding one that specializes in the area you are having trouble with?

 

yes, i am seeing a therapist and it is helping a lot. there may be underlying issues within yourself that are preventing you from moving on. it may not be the break up itself. the therapist can help you uncover those issues that may be adding to the difficulty of it. not only that, they can help you with any other issues you may be having.

 

to answer your question about finding one that can help with your specific areas? call them up and ask! it's as simple as that. or if you have any friends or family members that have been seeing one, ask them. referrals by word of mouth works best in my opinion.

 

if you have ever heard of link removed, i would post a question there, people are usually helpful on that site.

 

good luck.

[annie24]

if you want to reset your user name, just contact avman or kamurj. They will help you out.

 

iwantherback brings up a good point - definitely, there are probably underlying issues there that are preventing you from moving on. Why do some people heal quickly from breakups and others take a longer time? It has all to do with their mindset and how they deal with problems and resolve their issues. It isn't just about how much they loved the other person.