Help! Is he a liar and cheater?

[lonestar_80]

Help me men and ladies!

 

 

I keep on getting into the same bad relationships over and over. I meet a guy a month ago that I thought was nice. He seemed like a good guy. He took me out bought several dinners and took me to a movie. Spent a nice amoutn of money on me. He acted like I was his world. He wanted to meet my family and he said that maybe one day we would get married. He acted like the perfect boyfriend until I gave him oral sex after only dating him for four weeks. He distanced himself from me. I did not know what was wrong with him. Then a week later we had sex, and he distanced himself again.

 

He acts like every thing is fine on the phone nice and sweet but then he cancels plans with me at the last minute. He has done this now for the past two weeks. He says that he has been having problems with his family but would that really make him want to back away from me. I also wonder if I am just too needy or insecure? My last boyfriend said that about me but he was also cheating on me. My boyfriend now he does not even pick up the phone on Fridays and Saturdays. Does he have another woman/women or am I just paranoid? Why would he not answer his phone, and not return my calls? When he returns my calls it is like four hours later? Is he playing hard to get? How can a needy girl like me stay calm? I told him I felt like he was treating me like a booty call, so I stopped having sex with him.

 

I am hurt and I will get over the relationship, but what hurts me the most is how far he went out of his way to lie to me? Why are men so decieving when they are trying to have sex with a woman. I can not believe that I feel for the okey doke. The worse part is that I work with him and will have to see him everyday. How often should a guy being calling a girl he is dating? Am I expecting too much from him? We have not broken up yet but I feel like a dead man walking waiting for my exicution. Do I dump him or wait talk to him? How long should you wait for someone to call you back? I am not use to this.

[jensxcom]

i am sorry to say this but he sounds like he charmed you for oral sex and other sex. Next time you should wait awhile, before you have sex. He def used you.

Guys are tricky. I say when you see him at work just say hi casually but dont talk to him, he can contact or come to you.

[lonestar_80]

I was thinking about confronting him and calling him out on his behavior. I feel like a fool, and I want an apology. I think he owes that to me. Why would a guy be so deceptive? Why would he ask me to be his girlfriend ect.? So, I guess our whole relationship was a sham? I guess I am just young and stupid but I never thought someone would act this way just for sex? The sex was not that great either. I did not feel comfortable to entire time.

[jensxcom]

You should call him up and just ask him whats up?

But dont freak out or anything.

Alot of guys will do and say anything just for sex, sounds like hes one of them. He sounds like a player, probably moved on to the next woman and is doing the same thing.

I dont think your stupid, guys can be tricky, just dont put up with his behaviour and learn from it.

[BillyJean714]

I agree with Jen.

 

My boyfriend now he does not even pick up the phone on Fridays and Saturdays.

That's such crap!

 

If he can't respect you as his woman, leave him.

 

I really do feel sorry about your situation. What's sad is, it's pretty common (which is really sad).

 

Sorry you had to go through this. Next time- wait. Next time, when you date another guy, really see what his intentions are. Really get to know who he is. If he's not open/honest with you, hold back. Also, if he truly wants to be with you for you, then he'll hold back on sex and oral sex (and all that other good stuff). If he truly LOVES you for the person you are (or really cares), then he'd get to know you as a person, first- that's all that would matter to him. All the physical stuff comes afterwards, after he really takes the time to get to know you as a person.

[serena112]

I have to go with the others on this one. He just wanted sex. I know it hurts and you deserve an apology, but don't hold your breath for it. He probably doesn't even think he did anything wrong and has moved on to someone else. Count your blessings he's out of your life and find someone who will respect you and is good enough for you.

[annie24]

Yeah, it sounds like "he's just not that into you." I'm sorry. I guess in the future, get to know a guy for several months before getting too sexually involved. His behavior is very shady. I don't know if there's another woman in the picture, but it definitely sounds like he doesn't want you to be the woman in his life I'm sorry. It sounds like he's distancing himself because he doesn't have the guts to break up with you directly.

 

take this as a learning experience. good luck

[Süsser Tod]

I think he just wanted your... Sorry, its a shame there are guys like he out there, it just makes things harder for the real caring guys.

[lonestar_80]

thanks guys I know you are right. It really hurts. I guess I will not be so impressed next time when a guy spends a lot of money on me or calls everyday etc. It was just that he lied so much to the point where he made it seem like we where in a serious relationship. He acted like he was more into me than I was into him. I never over exagerrated my feelings for him. I will talk to him, and tell him what I feel. If I have to corner him at work to do so I will. I won't flip out. I feel so bad...I have never been played before. I am always the type of girl that guys want a long term relationship with. Before I meet him I was celibate for 2 years because I did not want to get played. Then this fox comes along and I have ruined all that I have saved for the past two years. He called last night and asked me if I wanted to come over to spend time with him and his friends, but after the way he has been treating me I said no. Maybe I am playing games? I read that whole Rules book and I do not all him that much. He calls everyday to make plans but then he cancels them.The truth is you guys is that his family is going throught bad times with the murder trial of a loved one.

 

Guys I need you support and all of your advice is sooo helpful. I reallly do not have anyone to talk to about this because premartal sex is just a no no amoung my friends and family. I know that maybe I sound needy and whinny but I really need your help.Thanks...sorry for the misspellings.

[Hernj62]

I feel like you are making up excuses for him. If he is going through something as painful as that, he shouldn't be involved with any type of girl and expect a sexual relationship. He should be mature enough to realize that it is wrong. Some people handle their problems differenlty. And it seems like to me, the way he is coping with his bad feeling from a painful experience is to have the amazing feeling sex has. So everything balances each other. And he unfortunately picked you as his victim. To lose such an innocence you kept sacred for 2 years by a guy that has issues, can't take responsibility for his actions, or live up to his kind words, is a waste of your time. I know it hurts and you are confused, but this guy might never wake up and realize you're a good thing.