5 Months After Break-up

[Lion-Guy]

It has been 5 months now since my ex decided to break up with me.

 

We were together for 3 years. I loved every minute of it. I was terribly heart broken for two months afterwards.

 

Then, as everyone says, time started to heal the wounds and I began to discover life after the ex. I met another girl who struck my interest. She lives 4 hrs. away but we have been able to see each other every weekend and we have decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I constantly find myself comparing the new girl to my ex. She might not be as pretty, not as smart, not from as great of upbringing, but she is oh so much more compassionate, loving and very supportive of what I do. I feel terrible that I am comparing the two.

 

But as I walk around town, I still wonder why things didn't work out with the other girl. I wonder why we haven't even spoken for 4 months. I wonder what it would be like to run into her somewhere.

 

I wonder why I still feel an aching pain for this woman I once loved so much. I wonder if she remembers a guy who was a huge part of her life for 3 years. I wonder if she remembers all the good things I did for her, all the great things I taught her?

 

I am amazed that you can know someone so well and then in an instant never speak to them again. I know it is for the better that we don't speak (NC has really helped me heal), but it still hurts to never hear from her.

 

And so I go to sleep tonight with a feeling of sadness. A feeling of selfishness. For I have everything a young man could ask for but yet still finds himself unhappy at times.

[WahlbergCasket]

dear lion-guy,,,,,,i still miss my ex of 2 yrs, and still find new memories i had forgotten about and when they hit me, they hit hard, and i stop in my tracks, erase my smile, and stand in my misery. i'll think about the stuff like how she could forget about me so quick, and i wonder if i was better in bed than her new guy. i thought i was really good at making her feel good and not just physically. i thought we were meant for each other, but stuff happens. believe it or not i broke it off with her. i still don't know if what i did helped me or messed me up, but either way i was unhappy.

 

if you dont have feelings for this new girl, maybe shes not what you want. but you don't want yer ex back unless you feel you can't live without her. think about how she'd react. men are supposed to be strong, but women can turn off feelings for a guy like a lightswitch and jump into bed with another guy like a monkey swinging off branches. the new girl might not be as hot or attractive or smart, but nobody will compare to the one you lost. but you lost her, whether it was your fault or not. it happened, and what is meant to happen usually does. go experience life dude, take advantage of the new chance to start a relationship and dont sit around your house listening to hank williams with a pillow over yer head like me. best of luck

 

ben

[GottaLetItBurn]

She didn't forget. Even a heartless girl who would leave for no reason would not forget.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't call you out of the blue sometime. Just keep trying to move on and date other girls. There is always someone better, and you don't have to waste your timet thinking about a girl that just left. Screw her, it's her loss, if she ever has a regret about it she has no one else to blame but herself.

 

We all go through it, just try and think possitive. Even if you feel miserable at times, try to start thinking possitive. You will continue down the road to being fully healed.

[friscodj]

I don't think you are over your ex yet. Your heart is "aching", you are comparing your new girl to her, still feeling sad and wondering about her? And 5 months removed from a 3-year relationship being on the receiving end of the break up...the bandages are not reasy to come off of that wound yet...

 

So you should face these feelings but also focus on what you have now. Take it slow and be careful with this new girl bro...

[Lion-Guy]

I have come to realize that I am still not over the ex completely. But I feel like I have come a long way. It is only when I am home alone or something that I start to think about the ex and why we are not together. If I could just keep my mind occupied I think I would be a lot better.

 

I do like this new girl. But the fact that she lives 4 hours away doesn't make it easy to see each other except for the weekends. Anyhow, she treats me very well and I always have a great time with her. I do worry sometimes about getting to involved so soon and try to take things slow with her.

[Hunny1607307342]

It's called a break up because its broken and it breaks because it was no longer working. If she broke it she won't fix it, but she'll never forget of course she wouldn't, because as far as she knows you might have forgotten, but you haven't! Just because she's not showing it doesn't mean she doesn't care. But hope all goes well with this new girl because when something breaks you buy a new one, dont dwell, good luck XXX

 

Also, just to say to WCasket, you made this huge generalisation:

 

women can turn off feelings for a guy like a lightswitch and jump into bed with another guy like a monkey swinging off branches.

 

It's very narrow-minded and derogatory towards women. I'm the complete opposite and am going through major post break up trauma, as are many other women, so I don't think you should make such a sweeping and totally wrong generalisation just because you've had a bad experience.

[luvagain]

I wonder why we haven't even spoken for 4 months. I wonder what it would be like to run into her somewhere.

 

I wonder why I still feel an aching pain for this woman I once loved so much. I wonder if she remembers a guy who was a huge part of her life for 3 years. I wonder if she remembers all the good things I did for her, all the great things I taught her?

 

I am amazed that you can know someone so well and then in an instant never speak to them again. I know it is for the better that we don't speak (NC has really helped me heal), but it still hurts to never hear from her.

 

Lion-guy,

 

I feel that you are telling my story except I don't have anyone in my life right now. I dated my ex for 7.5 years and she broke it off in mid October. I havent seen her since then and I have been on NC for about 3.5 months or so.

 

I wonder the same thing at least once a week. How can someone who said they loved you and wanted tot spend the rest of their lives with you all of a sudden cut you off? I wonder if she thinks of me even though she is dating someone at the moment? I wonder if she get flashbacks of the good times we had. But it is disturbing that all coomunicaton has been cut off but I guess it's for the best.

 

The pain will slowly fade, is what I hear. I don't know when though but I hope it does soon.

[Lion-Guy]

Ya the pain does go away slowly, but then it surfaces at times for no reason. The more I get my mind off it the better I feel. But certain things trigger the memories. When I try to supress my feelings, it makes me feel like I am in denial. I don't know how some people do it so easliy. It must come out at some point. I would rather experience it now than months from now.

 

Good luck with everything luvagain. 7.5 years is a very long time. It sounds liek she was the one to establish NC. Is that true? It was the opposite for me. She wanted to stay friends and I had to do NC to move on.