How am I going to get out of this with my friends?

[KIDD]

After today, I think I'm beginning to realise that the friends I got aren't really the kind I want to hang out with.Today I had some friends come over. I didn't think nothing of it or what not. So when they get here, one of them brings over some pornos lol! I'm saying to myself, oh lord! It's straight pornos or what not. Then on top of that they had their dates with them. So they were like, why don't you go & call your girlfriend up & have her come over. At this point I'm super nervous & saying to myself, "Oh how am I going to get out of this?" So I start dialing some numbers up & I pretend to talk to a girl on her cell phone. I made up a story about her not being able to come. So they were like, well next time call her in advance! I was like sure, no problem..

 

So it was very awkward & I'm not used to stuff like this with everyone coming over watching pornos. We must have been watching pornos for hours. I was getting very nervous & agitated for a whole bunch of reasons lol. All of the guys shouting out about how good the women look, I had to force myself to say some things about the females. I was really focused on looking at the men lol! I had to make sure I didn't slip up & say something that would have people looking at me. It was very tiring lol, especially commenting on the females. All the guys kept going crazy, I had to put on a show & do the same. So when they were like, oooh she's hot! I had to nod & go like "YEAH!" LOL. Then when one porno was finished, they wanted to watch another one. I said to myself, sheesh can we watch a movie now lol.

 

At one point, one of my female friends brought up having a party for her birthday. The thing is they're planning on having a sex party & rent a hotel for the night. So she put me on the spotlight & she was like, when are we going to meet your girlfriend? Do you even have one? I was like yes I do. She was like well bring her to the party because, we're going to have all of our dates & we're going to have some fun! Everyone started laughing & I was like yeah lol. It seemed like everyone basically discussed this without me..

 

Her birthday is next month so I have no clue how I'm going to get myself out of this situation. I didn't realise that my friends turned out to be like everyone else, sex freaks. I've known all of them since 7th grade & I never saw all of them like this before. We usually just hang out & watch movies or what not. What we did today wasn't a everyday thing. I was truly shocked when everyone had their dates & they brought pornos. I guess it goes to show that you never really know everything about your friends. It was a very awkward & tiring day. I was glad when everyone left, simply because I felt very nervous & out of place with everyone & their dates here watching pornos. Everyone was smooching on their girlfriends & boyfriends, while I was the oddball with no one.

 

I'm not ready to come out of the closet but it's things like this that's just putting me in a corner, where I can't run. I know eventually they're going to put two & two together if this happens often & I still don't have someone by then. I also know that they weren't real friends if they leave but it's hard to explain, I still don't want to lose them as weird as that sounds.

 

Also, I'm not a guy who's into sex parties & this stuff, this isn't me at all. I'm more of a relaxed homebody type guy. This all brings me back to the topic where I was talking about isolation. Everyone my age are just into drugs,sex,partying & alcohol. No one wants to be friends with the average guy, Everyone wants drama. At least I know here, I can talk to MATURE, focused people who won't knock me down because of my opinions. Thank god for enotalone!!

[Prufrock06]

So I start dialing some numbers up & I pretend to talk to a girl on her cell phone. I made up a story about her not being able to come. So they were like, well next time call her in advance! I was like sure, no problem..

 

OMG, Thakid! I've done this whole fake-dialing, invented girlfriend thing myself. It's nice to know that I wasn't the only one who felt like he had to resort to such desperate measures in order to convince others that he had a girlfriend! Don't be embarrassed -- most of us have done this at some point or another, gay or straight!

 

All of the guys shouting out about how good the women look, I had to force myself to say some things about the females. I was really focused on looking at the men lol! I had to make sure I didn't slip up & say something that would have people looking at me. It was very tiring lol, especially commenting on the females. All the guys kept going crazy, I had to put on a show & do the same. So when they were like, oooh she's hot! I had to nod & go like "YEAH!" LOL.

 

Ditto. And the fact that you used the word "tiring" to describe it is so dead-on as to what I would feel like when watching porn with friends!

 

I'm not ready to come out of the closet but it's things like this that's just putting me in a corner, where I can't run. I know eventually they're going to put two & two together if this happens often & I still don't have someone by then. I also know that they weren't real friends if they leave but it's hard to explain, I still don't want to lose them as weird as that sounds.

 

Hmm...I'm wondering if it wouldn't be possible for you to just explain to your friends that these kinds of parties aren't really you're thing? I mean, I don't see the harm in that and sure, there might be some potential for them to think ill of you, but it would take much of the "heat" off your sexuality if that's something you're trying to avoid talking about with them at this point. I can only imagine how socially trapped you must feel but when you think about this idea of being "trapped in a corner", you'll realize that there are really only two options for you: conform to what they want or fight back (not literally, but more in the sense of putting your foot down and telling them this kind of party isn't your thing). I know you've got the strength to put your foot down and tell them what you feel about these silly parties because you write this:

 

Also, I'm not a guy who's into sex parties & this stuff, this isn't me at all. I'm more of a relaxed homebody type guy. This all brings me back to the topic where I was talking about isolation. Everyone my age are just into drugs,sex,partying & alcohol. No one wants to be friends with the average guy, Everyone wants drama. At least I know here, I can talk to MATURE, focused people who won't knock me down because of my opinions. Thank god for enotalone!!

 

For relaxed, homebody type guys like you and I (and I would imagine some others on these boards as well), it's really difficult to deal with this kind of social pressure. At least, I know I was never really good at facing down peer pressure so instead I would resort to methods like you did: making "fake" phonecalls or coming up with elaborate lies and scenarios as to someplace else I had to be in order to get me out of an uncomfortable social situation.

 

I feel like all you have to say to these "friends" is that you're not into sex parties and stuff. That's it -- you don't have to mention your sexuality in the explanation because that's all you need to say. If you don't like doing something, you don't like it and you shouldn't have to justify your feelings and emotions for the sake of people who think a good time is having a porn movie marathon. I understand that you still want to keep these people as friends (or at least, it seems that way from your post), but at the same time, it's a two-way street -- if you are going to be friends with them, you should be able to say you don't want to do something and not have to worry about all these social reprecussions.

 

But you've also got time on your side -- a month to kind of think things over, consult with others and see how you should handle the situation. I have no doubt you'll end up doing the right thing, Thakid! You've got outstanding character and you'll figure it out!

[hosswhispra]

Also, I'm not a guy who's into sex parties & this stuff, this isn't me at all. I'm more of a relaxed homebody type guy. This all brings me back to the topic where I was talking about isolation. Everyone my age are just into drugs,sex,partying & alcohol. No one wants to be friends with the average guy, Everyone wants drama. At least I know here, I can talk to MATURE, focused people who won't knock me down because of my opinions. Thank god for enotalone!!

 

Wow, that does sound like a exhausting day to me, too. Do you belong to any clubs? If you have a certain interest (example biking), a club would be a good opportunity to make connections with people with similar interests. But, yes---a day of play-by-play commenting on porno would exhaust me too

[Jinx]

I think the first idea to express beyond a girlfriend thing is, you're not into the sex drugs and alcohol. I know its difficult, I went through it with people. During my high school years, such things were "in" and if you didn't go you were considered out, I was out in the sense of being unpopular. Even though they may seem far and few between not everyone is a party animal nor are all the average people taking up that negative "nerd" stereotype. I don't see the thing about stereotyping all nerds either but what can I say...

 

Anyhow, they need to respect at least your beliefs before coming out. I remember the first time I was offered Ecstasy, even though I was shocked I expressed simply, "Would I rather have a couple minutes of euphoria, or loss of a couple hundred brain cells." paired with a hand balance gesture to illustrate my point. After this and a couple no's to assure the point they went on their own business.

 

I used to hate dealing with the bring your boyfriend assumption and eventually dealt with that by bringing my best friend who is gay and open. They would say something like he is not my boyfriend and I say in technical biological terms he is boy which I'm sure he can confirm, and to my personal social terms he is a friend, add up. We often went out to events with one another when they asked for the boyfriend or girlfriend just to prove a point of the selectiveness they gave. Though, that method doesn't work much unless you have a female friend whom is just that and sees nothing except that which you can chat with.

 

Otherwise, as much as I hate saying it, the pretending to have a girlfriend will just hurt them worst in the end knowing you lied. Even though people should technically understand why you lied for fear of rejection, it still doesn't transmit clearly to all and often the coming out can go okay but the pretending doesn't. Eventually it will catch up to you in the worst of situations. Even though it isn't nice to just drop friends and invitations, if you want to avoid controversy and potential of being outted when you're not ready, it may be best to avoid them and seek other forms of social entertainment. After awhile people will add up or think you're a liar or just a flake of a person. All three are bad, and let there be the lesser of the three evils I suppose far as society is concerned.

 

Like I say and hopefully will happen, when comes College comes more friend opportunities. Even though these may be your friends if they can't accept you and may harm you emotionally or physically it may be best to drop them before it even gets a chance to develop further and College will take up enough time that you'll be able to develop friendships with others too outside of them. Of course that could all be done gradually.

 

I'm not sure what you're comfortable with and I don't know if any of this is actually helpful to you. I've been there with the sex drugs and alcohol situations between a rock and hard place and trying to wiggle out, but now in University it is more accepted if you're not into it, each group to their own. You just really need to exercise the power of "No."

 

Anywho, I'm sure most of this comes off as pointless, but I don't know how much support I can give in the logical aspect of your situation. I just learned with the activities that its better to say "No" repetitively and be uncool and by oneself than cause personal harm or pain (as in the drugs, sex, alcohol). As far as coming out and the girlfriend goes, it may end up being less suicidal in the end telling them you're not in the position for a girlfriend with College coming up and that you're sorry but it isn't okay at the moment. Coming out is a challenge, and with friends who knows how they'll react but hopefully in thinking the best they will accept us and continue to become the real friends that we can trust and allow us to be our true blue selves without worry and holding back or lying in order to protect ourselves from their ridicule or more.

 

Edited: Because the original was an eyesore [length].

[Tigris]

Is there a possibility that they already suspect you of being gay? If so then (I know it's cruel) to test you they could've devised the plan of watching pornos so they could see and hear your reactions. The same with the forthcoming sex party.

 

What do you think?

[KIDD]

I really don't know how to add more than one quote lol. It's annoying, especially when I want to respond to everyone in the post & quote certain messages in everyone's post. How do you guys do that anyway?

 

Prufrock06 & Jinx - In response to both of your posts about putting my foot down. I think this is seriously another great issue for me. Putting my foot down & standing up for myself. Well it seems now that I have no choice but to put it down,but you guys did encourage me a little bit more the next time it comes up THANKS!

 

I also talked about this with my mom. She basically said the same thing you guys said.She told me to follow my heart & she basically said, maybe it's time for new friends.I agree with her on this. I feel like if I turn this down, they will know something is up with me. But why should I care so much about what they think? I think that's what holds me back on alot, constantly worrying about what others think or feel about me. When all that should really matter is what I think. I wish I could be stronger to be myself one day, without giving a crap with what people have to say. My mom also said, being on your own & being independent usually helps you mature & grow. It helps you to be more comfortable in your own skin. She said as you grow older, stuff like this really doesn't matter anymore. Then she basically went into her stories about when she was my age, the same stuff she had to endure! I love my mom & I love that I could have these talks with her.I'm glad I can be real & talk with her..

 

hosswhispra - I have alot of interests, I like writing & I like just like expressing myself, it helps me relieve stress of what the world brings everyday & yes today was exhausting! I'm just glad it's over..

 

Tigris - I didn't even think about this. Now that you mentioned it, it does seem like this was planned. I think maybe the girl who was planning the party may suspect about me, by just remembering little incidents in the past. I remember back in 9th grade, the same girl who was planning the party had brought up the fact that one of her friends thought I was gay one day out of the blue. Basically I was like, well why would your friend say that?? She basically just gave a sigh & was like I don't know. She basically dropped it after that. They're always talking about how disgusting homosexuality is & they say their opinions about it. It's not an everyday thing we discuss . We may go out & just talk about stuff randomly. They talk about that they just don't understand how someone could be gay..

 

Another incident, we were at the mall & this cute guy walked passed us & I was obviously staring at him. She picked up on it & was like, I know you were not just checking him out & she laughed. I was nervous & I was like no I wasn't, I just liked the outfit he had on. She was like yeah right, someone has a little sugar in their tank & everyone was laughing. I just laughed with them & I was like shut up ya'll. It was dropped & we all just went to the movies,everyone seemed to forget about it. Stuff like this but I'm not sure if they really know or not. I'm sure they suspect something now.

 

Sigh, this is confusing.. this means I have to make a choice. Should I keep them as friends but they're the only friends I got. But like Jinx mentioned, college will bring new ones. I'm scared that I won't make anymore friends like them. It's hard making good friends now.

[FoxLocke]

KIdd, I'm sorry in advance, but I had to laugh while reading your topic because I've been through alot of the samethings...LOL!

 

 

 

Oh my god, this was me for several years. But I think I have you beat. Not only did I make fake cell phone calls to my "Girlfriends," but I also wrote myself love letters and doctored up internet photographs of attractive women just to carry around in my wallet.

I always had some ready made excuse as to why my girlfriend couldn't talk in a three way conversation or why she couldn't show up anywhere to hang out...LOL. This was definitely a flashback to my past...

 

LOL, and I remember one of my dormmates had a porno party too...I was deep into my devoutly Christian phase so I definitely felt odd. AND there was a gay man watching the pornos with us...So that made me feel even more nervous because the guy in the porno was really hot...LOL, and I kept pretending like I was looking at the women, but I was really looking at him. Infact, I used to watch straight porn just to see naked men...Until I realized they had gay porn for that.

 

 

 

I know that must have been awkward. I was reading the entire post and I could only imagine...

For me it isn't about being gay it is just that I'm not that kind of person. Yes, occasionally I do like to watch porn(I'm a guy), but I certainly don't obsess over it like all your "friends" do...lol. That was just crazy! You are a trooper for actually sticking around...I salute you...

 

In closing I think you should break away from this group of people. To me you are beyond them in maturity. Furthermore, you shouldn't have to pretend to be someone you aren't for them. I wouldn't be involved with people who are so nonchalant about having orgies and doing drugs.

 

It maybe hard but you should distance yourself and make room for friends who will make you better as a person. You don't even have to divulge your sexuality just say, "Look, this is not working anymore. I don't have anything in common with ya'll..."

 

Good luck!

[hosswhispra]

You definitely come accross as being a mature individual. It's true what Jinx says about meeting new friends when you go to college. I am not sure how old you are but what about taking a creative writing class at a community college? When I finished up with highschool, I found the college atmosphere to be more open to diversity. Also your mom is right about following your heart...I also think it is time to find new friends. Especially if, "they're always talking about how disgusting homosexuality is & they say their opinions about it," (from your own words). I also think that Tigris has some real good intuition about the reason why your friends may be so keen on having a "sex party". You sound like someone who really has it put together real well and I think you deserve better friends.

 

hosswhispra

[tranquil]

i say that like maybe 2 weeks before the party make up a big story about how you broke up with your "girlfriend" cuz right now you just wanna get out of going to the party hey? lmao!

[FoxLocke]

i say that like maybe 2 weeks before the party make up a big story about how you broke up with your "girlfriend" cuz right now you just wanna get out of going to the party hey? lmao!

 

lol, I agree. Stage a huge psuedo break up and act really depressed about it for added effect.

 

This thread really brought back memories. As I've said before I was the victim of an ambush "Porno Party" as well, about a little over a year and a half ago...lol. I can look back on it and laugh but it was quite traumatic at the time.

My ex-roommate bought some of his friends over, with their dates, to our dorm room. Anyway, we had the only 60 inch television set in the entire house...plus a vcr and dvd. At this time I'm pretty much the guileless little innocent Christian boy, and I was literally sitting there praying the entire time...It was so crazy. Everyone was either making cat calls at the television screen or making out with their dates and I'm just sitting there...alone, clueless, and nervous. Plus, one of the dates brought over a gay friend to watch...He was into the straight porn as well and sat right next to me...

 

lol...It was so crazy. In hindsight it was pretty funny...

[omgroman]

Off topic for a moment,I was actually surprised to find out that you were a guy. I always thought you were female, but i guess i was right when that previous picture you had was indeed Aaliyah?

Anyhow, I started laughing while reading the situation you were in. The whole thing just reminded me of some of my friends. The people im talking about are like huge potheads now btw, but in the beginning of this year during school. I'd come into my class, and like my friends would be talking about how they had skipped some of their classes and went over to like their smoking room. they'd be talking about how they were watching gay porn, and reading porno magazines. Btw the people are all straight..but maybe being stoned has something to do with them watching gay porn of all things. The whole time while i was just listening to these outragous stories, im thinking to myself, 'omg, my friends are porno heads, i need new friends,aah'. It's crazy is all i can say.

I don't even know what the fascination with porn is to be honest. I can watch it, but it's not a turn on, i think it's hilarious to watch. Its like some sexual comedy in my opinion. You have these guys with oversized packages, and girls with plastic everything, doing it, and trying to make it believable, with their over exaggerated orgasms, fake moaning, and insane positions. Then they have those ones that look like they're made to make you laugh, with the guys with socks on, big gerry curls, look like someone tried to shoot him 4-5 times, and the girl obese, stretch marks scars all over her, with her nasty tight fitting clothing,fat popping out the sides, shoes too tiny for her feet. I could just go on and on about how crazy porn is, but i wont. =)

[cristalgold]

I agree with Tigris. The first thing that came to mind is that they had this all planned in order to test you. If you don't want to reveal your sexual orientation, the break up story is not a bad idea. However, you can just let them know you're not interested in the party and maybe just start distancing yourself. Your mom is cool and she knows what she's talking about. Time away from your friends does mean you'll be able to work on yourself. You're going to look back on this and laugh. Everything will work out ok.

[KIDD]

Well it's refreshing to know that it's not just me who've been through these situations. Maybe I can start chatting with some of my old friends on facebook. Maybe they're more mature than the ones I currently got. Finding friends who are like me is going to be hard seriously. But college will have new ones.I'm just really tired of ignorant people, lol it just irks me sometimes. You know what's funny, even if I came up with the break up story, they'll probably find some way for me to have a girl.

 

Alright, as I was typing someone called & I got delayed.I just got off of the phone with the girl who's having the party. Now we talked for a good 2 hours & had a great conversation. It wasn't nothing about drugs or whatever. We talked about real issues, we talked about the people in Iraq & then we had a discussion about Bush. They have their moments where they can be serious & mature. I seriously just want to tell them the truth about my sexuality. So that way I can see if they'll be by my side or not. It was interesting what she brought up. She told me that she doesn't have a problem with anybody & as long as you are cool, I'll be your friend. I told her basically the same thing she said. This confuses me, is she trying to make me come out of the closet? Does she know? Or she didn't mean anything by it at all? She say these type of things but when it comes down to homosexuality, she looks down on it when the topic is brought up.

 

Another thing I think what's funny is, one of my friends in this click I suspect is gay & I've always thought that for years.He wasn't there yesterday with them because he lives far out & he had to work, maybe they all know something I don't know. Ok I know this is a stereotype but he has very femenine qualities. For one, he talks very effemenite, he never seems to be interested in women from what I can see. He's never had a girlfriend from what I know.I just get this vibe from him. I doubt he will even show up at this party. I sorta want to ask him if he is but I don't know if he'll confess or deny it. Even the girl I just got off the phone with. I wonder if she is at least Bi, because she has some tom boyish ways but yet she have boyfriends. She always hang around guys but like I said, these are all stereotypes. I don't know..

 

 

I'm confused, even though they pulled this little stunt. They're really good people, besides the whole porno thing.That shocked me lol. I can be myself & laugh & talk with them, I'm still working on the saying "NO" part. I have a month so I'll have to come up with something. I really couldn't say something today because it'll look too obvious that I'm trying to avoid the situation. I really want to just tell them I'm gay but it's so hard!! I don't think I could take the rejection from them, we've all had so much fun times & even if they leave, I'll miss the fun we had.

 

Deep down, I personally think my issue that I'm fighting hard with is being comfortable in my own skin. If I could just be honest with my sexuality, I wouldn't be put in situations like this. If I could just have friends around my area that know about me. Then I would never worry about getting out of these type of situations.

 

Ugh, I have alot to think about.Sheesh, can things go good at least once in my life!!?

[Jinx]

She told me that she doesn't have a problem with anybody & as long as you are cool, I'll be your friend. I told her basically the same thing she said. This confuses me, is she trying to make me come out of the closet? Does she know? Or she didn't mean anything by it at all? She say these type of things but when it comes down to homosexuality, she looks down on it when the topic is brought up.

That could very well be her way of allowing you to confide in her and come out. It sounds a deal like someone would say when they were trying to get the other person to be comfortable with them. When people have some problem going on but haven't opened up on their own about it I'll say something about accepting and being non-judgemental about everything that is said between us. Could very well be that indeed.

 

He's never had a girlfriend from what I know.I just get this vibe from him. I doubt he will even show up at this party. I sorta want to ask him if he is but I don't know if he'll confess or deny it.

If it is just you and him, you could always casually ask him about this party if he knows about it. See how that goes and you can always lead off by asking if he was going or not, keeping it casual. Depending on the answer you may get information. If he goes that means he'll probably have a girl with him, if no, your assumptions may be correct. If you both aren't going because you're not into that stuff, maybe you could arrange something between the two of you, but in a friends only way at the moment. I really don't know if that is something you think would go over but I know if I had a friend who didn't want to go to a party I'd often ask if they wanted a platonic "dull" alternative to the drugs, sex and alcohol. Most often they'd take up the offer as they didn't want to be alone and its nice to know you're not the only one who isn't into stuff like that and have a person there to enjoy something else with.

 

And this should of been in the first paragraph but nonetheless, the girl's attitude, is she as judging of homosexuality in private one-on-one as she is in the group? I know a lot of problems are caused by the group mentality thing. You'll have a person say one thing openly about themselves and openly but reject it profusely if it comes up in group discussion for fear of being looked at as "Weird". This same idea may apply to the guy you think may possibly be gay too. If you ask him when others are around he may clam up and say he is straight in each and everyway. Now in private if you assure him you're open minded and totally accepting of anything he may just say the opposite. That is one reason its really hard to read a person as an individual when they're in a group, you always get the best out of one-on-one conversation.

 

As for the breaking up scenario that is the bad part, it always seems like people have "back ups". That is one reason my gay friend and I go as a pair here and there because if you want to attend and don't have a date they'll get you a date whether you want it or not.

 

I really want to just tell them I'm gay but it's so hard!! I don't think I could take the rejection from them, we've all had so much fun times & even if they leave, I'll miss the fun we had.

 

That I agree, it is difficult but I look at it in the way that things can only improve. Once my "friends" and acquaintances who were homophobic left me, I was happy I didn't have the stress of being myself around them, yet displeased over the fact that all the memories made still have them and you can't change people in memories. Has both its bads and goods, guess thats just part of coming out. Have that balance between the two.

[FoxLocke]

I really want to just tell them I'm gay but it's so hard!! I don't think I could take the rejection from them, we've all had so much fun times & even if they leave, I'll miss the fun we had.

 

I agree. It is very hard. When I told the guy that I like about my orientation it took me about three minutes to just get the words out...lol. I finally had to preface with a story leading up to the big announcement.

 

There is no easy way to open up to friends and family. I know personally because I still haven't told my mother about my sexuality yet...But sometimes you just have to force yourself to do it. People will always assume you are just like them and want to do everything they want to do...But in the end you will feel better by just breaking away.

 

If they are your friends they will accept you!

 

Cheers!

[KIDD]

You're so right Foxlocke. What is it that's holding me back from telling them? I think I could really care less but I just don't want drama, but it looks like I'll get it one way or the other. Another one of my friends is trying to hook me up with a girl because she saw a picture of me & she thought I was cute However this is getting annoying & I feel maybe one day I might just snap & tell everyone about me & if they don't like it... oh well.. I'm walking on thin ice & one day I just might slip up, especially if I can't keep my facts together. It seems like it's more trouble hiding than coming out. If they turn they're backs on me, it's less burden off of my shoulders. So if I feel like this, why is it so hard... ugh!! Society....... sigh.

[Tigris]

When I came out to my Father it took a great weight from my shoulders.

 

I hope you find the courage soon so you can be free too.

 

Good luck

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

How do you think your friends will react to the news in the short term and in the long run? What kind of friends do you have? Are they caring and supportive? Will the majority accept?

 

I have two groups of friends, my high school/junior high/college buddies and the friends I met afterwards through jobs that I kept in contact with. None of them have seen me with a girl, but they know I'm not gay because I whine everyday with the whole "whoa is me I need a date" speech that I practically wear on a t-shirt. But if I was gay and told them, I think that the friends I met from work would accept me with open arms and nothing will change except there won't be any talk about sexual things. My school buddies would accept the lifestyle, but they will become a little more distant and most likely disappointed. Why do I think this? Probably because of the personalities that make up their matrix.

 

We all have our "groups" of friends, and each group is different. One group is adventurous and rowdy, the other likes to sit on the couch and watch wrestling or other sports, the others are drinking buddies, others are skirt/pants chasers, ect. To be brutally honest you will find an outcast in the group who won't like it, but the group as a whole will be ok with it and with you. If not, like you said, who cares. You can go out and make new friends.

 

It won't all be rosy for you, kid. It also won't be all rusty either. I say give it a shot, tell some of your closest friends and see how you feel about yourself and the reactions you get. Use them as the litmus test. Wade in their waters before you dive in without an oxygen mask. And you know if it makes you feel crappy, this site is here to help you. And all we ask in return is an ivitation to the next porn party extravaganza! Well, at least me anyway.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Errmmm...might be off the point but you hang out with some very strange people who have a bizarre attitude to sex/women as objects and it made me ill reading that..mayybe re assess your friendship group??