GOT THE NUMBER -> ASKING OUT A GIRL ??

[bindeshp]

Hey, I've maate sevearl girls over the past month or so... I usually meet them while there working at a retail store..I usually get into talking to them, they'll flirt and smile and have a constant eye contact with me...So hear comes the part of asking her phone number, which I do and usually, there willing to hand over there phone number to me...After few days, I would call them and talk to them for a while and ask them out on a date..But they eventually say there busy or some excuse..Is there something that I am doin wrong, or am I asking them out too early?

Somebody please help me

 

Thanx

[Lightingbird]

Sounds like your approach is good.

 

But you seem to lose them somewhere between the first call and close to the actual date.

 

I believe that you are losing them because of your converstion on the phone. Women listen to everything that men say and you should talk and listen to a women very carefully. Talk about her, ask about what she likes and desires in life. Tell her about some of your goals. Discuss your intentions in life. Conversate about your desires toward her. But don't go overboard.

 

Try not to overflatter her as well. And don't try to sound "too cool" on the phone. Don't act be real! Put some body in your converstation and give her a something to look forward to on your first date.

 

Remember when you said you usually get their phone number? Well you must have passed the intial attraction test. Now pass the mental test.

 

Change your convo and you'll do ok.

[grneyedscotsman]

Hello bindeshp.

 

So you've got the digits from these lovely ladies, but are having a tad trouble getting them to accept a date with you?

 

Waiting a few days is a good start. Never dial those digits a day before the third day. Why? Because like it or not, women don't want needy men. They like men that are busy and satisfied with their own lives. So remember to wait 3 to 4 days before calling.

 

Next, pre-plan your date. Have two date ideas. For example, if you plan to take her to the art museum, call the museum and find out if there are any special attractions, fee's, and any restaurants or cafe's in the museum.

 

Why? Because when you call this special lady you will be able to say, "Hello (her name), this is (your name). We talked the other day at (location). Hopefully she will initiate some of this dialog. If not, don't worry about it- just continue.. "I called the Art museum yesterday and was informed that they have a special exhibit on Egypt (or whatever)., and even have a cafe there. I thought you might want to go there with me?" Now wait and give her a chance to answer. Don't be too pushy!

 

If she reply's with a "no," simply say "perhaps another time." Don't ask for reasons. She may or may not offer one. That's okay. You should be able to pick up her signals if she's disinterested. If she seems interested but does not offer a reason why she cannot go to the museum (or wherever), she probably really isn't interested. However, if you have a back up plan, -hence another option, you can offer that option instead. Hey, atleast you bloody tried!

 

Remember to have confidence! Control your voice tone and rythym. Rehearsing your date proposal prior to calling will help you a great deal. If you feel nervous when you begin dialing, hang up and rehearse.

 

Be okay with rejection, there are plenty other fish in the sea.

 

You'll be fine.

 

Let us know how it goes.

 

Take Care/Godspeed! 8)

 

grneyedscotsman

[JohnDoe]

Hey, there may be many fish in the sea, but each fisher has a goal. His own prize fish. If you are particularily interested in a girl and she is the light of your life, the only star in your universe, then the rest of the fish might as well be anchovies.

 

As for he who posted the message. Don't call them, visit them at the store. Go back there with the intent to see them. You making the effort to see them in person lets them know that you are truly interested.

 

I don't know if it is your intent to get into their pants, but don't think that way. Nice guys only finnish last in a jerks race, we will be victorious in the end.

 

Best of luck.

 

JD

[gsxr104]

Just keep trying.

[Theblueman123]

Just keep trying.

 

Yeah just be chill and go with it. Don't follow the whole 3 day rule or something, people who follow "swingers" advice aren't really getting the whole picture. Anyway just move on and find someone else, it really isn't that difficult.

[notquitepsycho]

One thing:

 

Are you asking them out for the same day? They're saying they're busy, not that you're an arsehole and should go to hell.... Some women have very active social schedules.

 

If you're asking them out for the same day or the next day try asking them out early on in the week for the weekend.

[Cminor7th]

Don't wait too long, give it a day or two @ the most and then just gun it to 88 and ask her.

 

Women aren't going to like an indecisive man, be "THE MAN" and tell her you'd like to go out.

 

The first 3 seconds or so you will know if she is into you. The first words out of her mouth should be: "Sure, this date sounds good [insert date]". Otherwise she'll say "Um, I don't know, hmm, err". Answer is there drop the number and move on.

[Jpo]

Listen, some women just are flaky, it is part of life.

 

I did want to comment that some of the advice given was unnecessary. Rules do not matter at all. I have gotten many girls to go on dates with me and I call them whenever I feel like or is convenient. The next day, that night, three days. I don't worry about it, if they like me, they like me, and if a silly thing like when I call hangs them up, that's their problem.

 

Following rules is foolish, I mean, maybe you wait three days and she doesn't go with you because she thinks your not interested enough. Or maybe you call the next day and she thinks you are too interested... And on and on we go. There is no way to know, so just do what you want and leave the rest to fate (or your deity of choice).

 

Some advice of my own: When I ask for a phone number, if she gives it to me, I typically ask when they would like me to call. 99% of women say, "whenever you want." And I respond, "well expect a call tomorrow then, I don't want to keep you up all night by the phone waiting. "

 

When I call I try to set up a date as soon as possible, so instead of asking when they are free, I say, "let's do something this Friday, I was thinking _______." They say they are busy, I say, "Saturday then" or next available day, if again they say they are busy, I simple say, "well it was nice talking to you, I'm sorry to hear you're so busy, goodbye."

 

Now, most women if they are interested will stop you from hanging up and say how they'd still like to see you. And then I ask them for a day. If they say a day, then I set a time and place right then (making it more "official" so there is less chance of wishy-washy mind changing).

 

Why do I personally call the next day and set up a date asap? Well, a lot of girls, especially ones that you "pick up" rather than friends or friends of friends, are very flaky. No reason to waste days/weeks wondering if it is going anywhere. I'm direct and very pushy about hanging out soon, because if they are trying to set it far in the future increases the chance of them bailing significantly -- if they date is out more than a week the chance of them coming is almost zero.

 

Multiple "busy" is usually a pre-sign of flaky behavior and if you get it, just drop it. (Of course it is possible at this point that they really are busy), but you did your part IMO, let them come to you.

 

(And really, you don't even need to talk to them on the phone when you call, just do a basic greeting and then as them out.)

 

I have a pretty high percentage of women keeping dates with this method (from my person experience). Be direct, no fluff, no game playing, give them a couple chances if they say "busy", and drop them immediately if they flake on the first few dates no matter what the reason. That will save you of time, worry, and wondering.

[AuthenticAuthor]

You, sir, have a very good head on your shoulders. ^^

[Cminor7th]

yeah, Jpo is dropping Yoda-ESB knowledge in here

[Jpo]

You, sir, have a very good head on your shoulders. ^^

 

Thanks. Not really though, just the result of years of trial and error.