To Text or not to text

[xblondyx]

well as some may have read, the ex text me last night 3 times asking if i was going to the party. i replied after the 3rd text to shut him up saying that i couldnt get there and asking why. he text back saying he was just wondering.

 

should i text him back asking whats going on? he's giving me mixed messages and its really confusing me

[dizziest]

I personally wouldn't, dont give him the power.... let him come to you

[ElektraHere]

I think your a convienence to him. He knows he can text, IM, what have you and get to you. You said he took your virginity away perhaps he thought last night you would be at the party and would be an easy lay?

 

I wouldn't text him. I would stick to your convictions and move ahead w/o him. If he really wanted you back and was mature about it he would have told you already....in person.

[Dave_The_Oracle]

should i text him back asking whats going on? he's giving me mixed messages and its really confusing me

 

Don't text, ignore him, or at best, just do what you have done already, make excuses. But move on...

[xblondyx]

just do what you have done already, make excuses

 

no excuses were made. my reason for not going to the party was genuine. i just received a text from him saying the party was good so i text back saying good good but that's it. he obviously has no will power as i told him not to text me and yet he has while i haven't text him at all.

[xblondyx]

he thought last night you would be at the party and would be an easy lay?

 

If he really wanted you back and was mature about it he would have told you already....in person.

 

i don't think he would have thought that. he knows i'm not easy. he probably wouldn't have spoken to me at the party anyway. i think he just wanted me there to look at (lol).

 

Also, i think your right, if he wants me back he has to do it in person. he probs should have done it by now if he did so he obviously doesn't. His loss!!

[darkblue]

Why are you still in contact with him?

It makes healing more difficult.

[xblondyx]

well i see him everyday so it's hard. i don't contact him, it's always him contacting me.

 

for example, me and my friend left school early on friday to go into the central library in town and at about 7pm on MSN he asked where i was.

[darkblue]

It's none of his business...

You could explain to him that you want no further contact - and stop this torment.

[xblondyx]

i've tried but he says it wouldn't work as we see each other everyday and he mutual friends

[darkblue]

i've tried but he says it wouldn't work

That concerns me.

 

Mutual friends are mutual for a reason. They will not take sides.

If it would help you in the long-run, and you want it - do it.

The fact that he doesn't think it would work is irrelevant. He has lost that luxury of choice.

[xblondyx]

but he says he still cares for me and wants to be friends. no matter how much he hurt me i still want to be his friend

[darkblue]

Can you honestly be his friend without wanting more, or without him wanting more?

Is it going to get you hurt, in the long-run?

[xblondyx]

you never know. one of my ex's is one of my best guy friends ever. i want it to be the same with this one.

[darkblue]

Everyone is different.

 

The fact that he is controlling, and jealous over where you are, who you have been with, etc - shows signs of concern to me.

 

Of course, the choice is your own to make.

[xblondyx]

i think that i should carry on not contacting him. i'll speak to him if he speaks first though. I'll make it very clear that all i want is to be his friend. If he wants more, maybe i'll think about it. he needs to learn that he hurt me and he can't just expect to get me back with a snap of his fingers.

[darkblue]

As long as you do not let the 'heat of the moment' cloud your judgement - that sounds reasonable.

 

Remember that he did hurt you, and I would question as to why you would want to be friends with someone who did not treat you well, as a partner.

[xblondyx]

i want to be friends with him a he knows me, everything about me. he helped me through some tough times. also, i don't want there to be any big fall outs. i've already had big fall outs at school with friends and he need people i can count on to be there for me.

[darkblue]

If they are mutual friends - they would be friends with both of you and not taking sides. I don't that is your real motive for still contacting him.

 

He may have helped you through some tough times, but you are broken up, because he hurt you.

If you do not want to get back together with him, and he clearly still has interest in you - you are setting him up for disappointment.

[xblondyx]

the thing is, if he asked me to get back together, i'd probably say yes. on my terms of course. but we broke up as he "felt claustraphobic" as he had never been in a proper relationship before and he "needed space". i've given him this space but he's still contacting me, staring at me in school. i don't think he will want to get back together so that's why i just want to be friends. we have both talked and said that we would be friends.

 

the thing that i'm wondering about is, why if he needs space, does he still contact me, asking if i'm ok, what im up2 and things like that? i've heard that he's happy being young free and single so maybe all he's doing is being friendly?

[xblondyx]

he just text me randomly out of the blue saying he only text me last night to see who else was going to the party and he doesn't know if he would have spoken to me if i was there :S

[DN]

How can you be his friend if you don't talk to him?

 

Can you be his friend without wanting more?

[xblondyx]

if i'm honest. i don't know

[DN]

Then you should give that some thought. The problem that you face is putting yourself in limbo hoping he will come back to you. Maybe if you were to decide that you should forget about getting him back and go look for someone else you could maintain a casual friendship only because he is in the same group of friends.

[xblondyx]

yea. by the way, should i reply to the text?