how to get him to just ask upon first encounter

[Caterina]

My confidence has significantly improved on some level. Before, if I saw an attractive man, it was my natural instinct to avoid him. Now, I have the guts to go up and talk to him. My new-found confidence is something that I am pleased to say holds up very well upon first encounter. But...how do you make it continue? See, I walk up to a man, and start chatting with him. He tells me some things, flirts a little. Then, my shyness starts to take over again at that point. My stomache kind of knots up and I want to leave as soon as possible. What do I do to A) continue to talk to the guy without seeming overly interested in having a conversation with him and B) eventually have him ask me out?

 

See, I see an initial interest, although it might just be harmless flirtation. Most of the time, the way I've been asked out is if I see the guy on a day-to-day basis where a friendship of sorts is established. But, I am a busy girl and don't have all the time in the world to go out where all the men are gathered every week (wouldn't know where to look in the first place...I don't like bars, clubs, or any of that...looking for a meaningful relationship) and see them on a consistent basis. I want to speed up the process a little bit, or get it onto a headway of at least a date type of thing.

[annie24]

There's a really good book by one of my favorite authors, E. Jean Carroll. The name of the book is "Mr. Right, Right now!"

 

In your situation, she suggests the following. Say you run into a cute guy somewhere, and go up to him and say, "Wow - that is a great shirt/tie/etc. I would love to get one like that for my brother. Where did you get it?" (See, easy conversation, not too forward.) And then you chat for a few minutes. And then you say something like, "Hmm... this cloudy weather has put me in the mood for banana cream pie. Where can I get some banana cream pie?" Hopefully, he'll give you directions, and walk you there. Maybe he'll even suggest joining you. See, you're not asking him out, but you're giving him the perfect opportunity to join you, if he'd like.

 

It's a good book, really funny.

 

 

good luck!

[yeawutever]

Usually, it's waiting for a guy to ask you out, but the opposiste can happen. Yea, try doing what annie suggested, that the conversation will naturally continue, in time you'll forget about your shyness (I'm still like that too at times, depending on the situation and always will be).