i wish i could trust him..!!

[emma201279]

ok so i think i've got a serious issue with trust.

well it all started when i found out that my b/f still contacts his ex (after us being together for over a year)...which he had never told me about (i found a bday card she sent to him etc.) anyway i was pretty concerned about it cause he had never told me he still contacted her (and i know she meant A LOT to him in the past) so talked to my b/f about it and how i felt and he reassurred me i had nothing to worry about, that they hardly ever spoke as it was, and that if i didnt want him to contact her he wudnt. i sed that i didnt want to tell him what to do,but that it did upset me to know that it was often him that intiated the contact. anyway after we had a long talk about it he reassurred me that i was the most important person to him.i thought everything wud be fine.....

but then..

 

last week i found out my b/f's password for his email address and his online phone bill.....BAD IDEA. i wish i had never found out what it was, because i constantly keep checking them to see who he's been contacting etc...even though i keep checking it regularly i don't actually seem to find anything that wud suggest he's being unfaithful etc.I feel so guilty about it, because i think one of the most important things about a relationship is about trust and honesty. he's never cheating on me it the past, and i don't think he ever wud- so why can't i just leave it alone?!

i just ned sum advice on how i can tackle this issue and how i can trust him and the way he feels about me. i wish i cud cause i dont want things to get worse or end over this.

 

thanks for listening

emmaxx

[becallamjr]

Here's some advice. Realize you have something good in your life and the more you mess with it the more your * * * * it up. Let it go. You said you trust him, then do just that. Unless you have a reason not to trust him, don't try to sabotage yourself.

[Scout]

Here's some advice. Realize you have something good in your life and the more you mess with it the more your * * * * it up. Let it go. You said you trust him, then do just that. Unless you have a reason not to trust him, don't try to sabotage yourself.

 

100% agree with this. Don't tell him you snooped, but don't snoop again. Seriously. You are obviously uncomfortable with this type of behavior and it sounds like it really goes against the grain of who you are as a person, so just stop. Plus, he does sound like a good guy. Give him the credit due for letting you speak honestly about how you feel, and for his wonderful response back. Trust me, if he had some weird intentions going on, he would have yelled at you and gotten super defensive. Instead, he was understanding and worked on a solution, which means he holds you in great value.

[hazlcha]

last week i found out my b/f's password for his email address and his online phone bill.....BAD IDEA

 

You said it.

 

Instead of focusing on what you're afraid to lose, focus on what you want to gain. Instead of looking for signs that he's out for someone else, look for the signs that he wants you.