sick of it all

[Stinkweed]

I think I want to talk to a therapist/shrink. The thing is I tried to do it a little over a year ago, when I was really depressed, and my parents wouldn't let me... They said I didn't need to and blah blah blah. In the end I somehow cheered myself up. But this time it's different. Now I'm not really depressed, just confused... And I ponder day and night, and no answer comes to my mind.

 

I'd talk to my school counsellor, but there's just things I don't think she'll understand... Things I'd rather talk about with someone more "neutral" so to speak. Plus everytime I want to talk to my counsellor she's like "let's plan a meeting with your parents" or "you need your parents permission", "talk to your parents", ugh. It's THEM who I don't wanna talk to, cause almost everyday they call me up to give me a speech how they think I've got a horrible attitude and I need to fix that. The thing is that I don't think I REALLY want what THEY want... Ok, here's the thing: I'm scared! I'm petrified of going my own way... I see what happened to my brother, how he wasted about 2 years of college. And they keep saying that the same thing will happen to me if I don't fix my attitude (apparently, he was really apathetic, and didn't go to class and stuff... I dunno if the word apathetic is the one that best describes me, because I kinda do wish I knew what to do... and I think about it day and night, and as the end of the year approaches, I only get more desperate and scared). The thing is that I don't know what I want. They want me to go to the BEST college possible, no matter how far away it is (the one I'm talking about is one that is pretty far away...). What if I want to stay here in this state? What if I feel I'm no good on anything. Cause that's basically true. The only "talent" I see I have is doing well in math. I've never done anything that's not school related (sad, but true... I'm a loser, I've got nothing. A waste of my youth... That's how I feel). I see some friends who're awesome with the computer, others are good with like physics, math (engineering... it's the area I applied for in all my colleges... I think I've changed my mind seeing how much I suck at everything but math). Others draw, others are pretty good musicians, others are athletes. Me? Nothing... What will I be then? A math teacher? Seeing how much teachers make here, I think I'd rather pass... Plus I don't think I'm even good at teaching.

 

What makes my parents think I'll be a good engineer then? So now they want me to take classes (after school I guess) in physics and computer programming I guess, as if I dind't have enough to do already... I mean, my current workload plus the fact that now I have the attention span of a chicken doesn't help at all. This is what I wish I could talk to a therapist/shrink about. I've got nothing going on, and I only wish there were something I could end up doing that I love. The thing is that there are only a few things that I love, and I'm not even good at those, plus even then I doubt they'll put food on my table when I'm on my own. I wish I could just become a hermit, and live somewhere in a mountain and grow my own food, and live on my own...

[tyler711]

You are 18 yes? You should take some time to sit down and ponder what you really want. Do you want to go to the best college or do your parents want that for you? If your high school counselor is no help, then maybe arrange a private meeting with a college counselor. It sounds like you have a fear of the unknown. I was in your shoes. I wasted hundreds of dollars on classes I didn't want, and things I didn't want to do. Now I live on my own in my house, pay bills, have loans, job, etc. I'm just barely starting a new degree that I should have finished by now. It sounds like a lot, but it's really not that bad.

[Alabama]

Do you enjoy doing math? You can choose what you wish to do with this field. Follow your heart. Decide for yourself what you want to do and then do it. You still have time to think about what you want to do. Just take general course requirements, or if it's not too late, go to a community college. I have friends who weren't sure what they wanted to do with their lives, so they went to a community college for now. Have hope.

[gradle]

i honestly think you should go to the best possible college for you...go to school...take some risks, you're always going to regret not going...and guess what, if you go 2 years and you still hate it (i can almost guarantee that you won't) then you don't have to go, believe it or not, they can't FORCE you to stay in school, but there are things that can force you to stay OUT of school, like financial obligations, children, work, etc that may be the issue when you realize in the future you wanted to go to school

i'm an engineer...didn't even know what it was when i started school...the first year or so is the hardest...but i'll tell you something,it's sooo rewarding, and even if you decide to do something else..., it's always best to have a degree from a great school...

it is the best time to do it...

and believe it or not, parents get frustrating they get annoying, but i doubt your parents would ever really want you to do something that would actually hurt you...

give it a shot, it's a fantastic way to grow as a person

[Tigris]

I think it would do you good to go to a college that's a long way away from your parents. It sounds to me like they're the ones that's causing you all your problems.

 

Secondly, you are not your brother! You are an individual who needs to make his own decisions for the future. If your parents keep pressurising you like this you'll jeopardise your attempts at getting a good education.

 

I understand that parents want their children to do better than they did but they can't live their lives again through you! Try talking to them.

 

Good luck and take care.

[byates5637]

i think right now at your age you should be doing what YOU want. Don't even think too much about school. Try to meet some girls, maybe drink some beers with some friends, or whatever it is that you think you have been missing out on. You have to experience life a little before you know what you want to do with the rest of it. One day everything will fall into place for you regardless of what you do now.