I can't orgasm during sex

[Jealous1]

I can orgasm every time i masturbate (which isn't very often) but when i have sex, i just can't orgasm. Oh i have been so close, but before i am about to orgasm, my BF comes.

 

I enjoy sex a lot, but am annoyed that my BF comes before i can reach an orgasm. He isn't coming fast, it's just that it takes me a while to get to that point. I have tried stimulating myself while he is penetrating me, but again, it takes a while to get to that point.

 

I sort of feel guilty because sometimes after we have had sex, i want to masturbate just so i can orgasm because i missed out.

 

I also feel bad because my bf thinks i do orgasm, because i fake it every time.

 

I'm starting to think i will never orgasm during sex. We have tried diff positions (some of witch i LOVE) but still he comes before me.

 

Anyone else like this?

Thanks

[melrich]

It is a mistake to fake it. How does your b/f know he is not getting you there? You can't even talk to him about it because you are faking it (unless you tell him you have been faking it).

 

Really the key to good sex is letting each other know what it is that you like, what you want to do. Stop faking it and start talking to your b/f.

[Meow18]

The problem is that you lie about orgasming. If he knew that you really don't, things would probably be different. He thinks everything is just fine when it isn't. That's not fair to you because you should feel satisfied, and it's not fair to him because you are lying.

 

Talk to him about it. I think that just being honest will help a lot because then maybe he will help you. Nothing is going to change if you can't be honest about it.

 

Why do you feel you need to lie to him?

[GottaLetItBurn]

It doesn't sound like he had very good stamina. That's alright though, you just have to tell him how you like it, and tell him where your spots are at.

 

Your Gspot is about 2 inches in on the inner wall, if you can get in a position where he can penetrate and put presure on that spot. YOu will have a very very good chance of orgasm.

 

Just talk to him about it, don't be shy or anything. If he's not pleasing you, give him instruction.

[Jealous1]

I haven't told him that i cant because i dont want to hurt his feelings.... I'm one of those people that hate making others feel inadequate and insecure about themselves. I mean if i didn't fake it and let it go on forever, he would put himself down, thinking he is not good enough or useless. I would hate him to think that.

 

You see eveything he does feels great, it's just not for long enough. and if we do take it slow, it wares him out, and i lose the feeling too. I have been on top, and love it, but that makes him come so fast and when i prolong it, the rhythm sort of goes...

 

so should i tell him i wasn't being honest with him when i pretend to orgasm? or just dont fake it anymore? i have not been faking for a while, because i need to feel some love as well, instead of just giving to him.

[Meow18]

You should definitely stop faking it.

 

Honestly, lying about it has just made this whole thing a bigger problem. You could have just started out being honest and solving things. Now you have to worry about telling him the truth and how to go about it.

 

You didn't want to hurt him, but really I think he will be more hurt finding out that the whole time he thought he was satisfying you he really wasn't.

 

But if you want a good relationship, you need to start being open and honest. It's true that usually guys do feel inadequate when they can't make their girlfriends have an orgasm through sex. But the truth is, it's just not easy for us girls.. it really has nothing to do with them not being "good enough". And he just has to understand that. I know it was hard for my boyfriend to accept at first, but he got over it. We worked at it together to the point where I was being satisfied.. and he can now feel adequate. Both of you just need to work at it together.

 

So in my opinion, start over with this. Open up to him. If he feels inadequate, what can you do? The point is, being honest is always better than lying just to make him feel better about himself. As you can tell, it just makes things a lot harder to solve.. and this is just not something you can fix on your own.

[Derek]

Honesty. It's quite a test for a relationship. (oddly enough, you'd think honesty was a given) But I think you are worth the investment, don't you?

 

What you are describing is normal. (I believe it was 70% of women don't orgasm with intercourse alone?) Your va-JayJay doesn't have the nerve endings that your c-button on the outside of you does. He's gotta add a few more dance moves to his repertoire. Getting you fired up with some oral and perhaps hand work long before his Johnson touches your JayJay. =)

 

Y'know?

 

 

 

P.S. It's all about honest communication. Can your relationship handle it? Wouldn't it be good to know that it can?

 

P.P.S. Maggie is right. Your body's pleasure is a mutual hobby for both of you to work together on. The crash course on your body should be a fun study experience for him.

[ravenfox]

i know how you feel!

i too hate making others feel bad!!

i think we haveto be more selfish!

[NJRon]

I've been with women that had difficulty acheiving orgasm. It didn't hurt *my* self esteem... as long a sthey reassured me it wasn't because I wasn't doing something right... so, once I knew, I always made sure they were satisfied. If you aren't honest, you don't give the guy a chance to make sure you get as much satisfaction as he does. Every guy wants to know that they please their woman... whatever it may take.

[Jealous1]

Thank you very much for your advice.

 

I am not going to fake it anymore.

 

I am going to continue to prolong the love making, stretching it out, maybe more foreplay before we get into it. We will see how it goes. Maybe we should try a few more positions than the usual. I will try something different tonight to see how it goes.

 

Thanks again everyone for your replies.

[XslutXmasterX]

have you ever seen the show talk sex with sue??

well if not

a lot of girls call in asking why they dont orgasm during sex..

sue replys women done reach orgasm during sex its when your having oarl sex

90% of women fake orgasm during sex..

you can go look at her home page to find out more about it..