i hope this feeling lasts!!

[deejay74]

i just want to say thank you to everyone on ena who've helped me the past 2 months. i have had many ups and downs but yesterday i posted that i wanted to get in touch with my ex and some of you slapped some sense into me again! thanks again!

 

i am posting on here because something just hit me last night and today. after reading many of the posts i've written and the responses, it's finally sunk in that i don't need my ex at all. yes i still miss her and i am still a little sad that she ended it, but everyone's right, SHE is the one who WALKED AWAY! i am not perfect but i know that i am a great person inside. it sounds corny but if she can't see that and if that's not good enough for her, then f**k her! seriously. if she's after the bigger and better things out there, she constantly going to be disappointed. and the more guys she sleeps with, the more it reinforces my opinion that she is a woman with low self-esteem and uses sex to make herself feel better. i can't tell you how many partners she's had (well i have, but i won't post again). i don't hate her and i am not really angry, i am actually starting to feel sorry for her, i think.

 

today has been the best day since the break up. i have had the longest bouts without thinking about her and i have been smiling more. i have actually felt good for most of the day. my coworkers have even noticed a difference. i just hope this lasts and i don't relapse. man, i forgot how it feels to actually feel somewhat normal. the past 2 days have been progressively better.

 

so once again, thanks enotaloners! i don't know what i would've done without this site. i'm not 100% over it, i would say 75%, but that's a lot closer.

 

i'll keep posting on here though, this site's addicting.

 

=D>

[radient_dominion]

Thats so wonderful! Congratulations!

[Dako]

Enjoy the day, guy!

Glad you're on the mend.

[Boricua7]

Yay! I can't wait to be where you are!

[coollady1957]

Good for you on your progress. I am so glad you are having good days lately. Keep up your positive attitude and you will be to that 100% again. I too have felt great for quite a while now after my breakup. It feels to good to be happy again. Never will I go back to the first few weeks of the breakup where I fretted over the whole thing. I hope that you continue on your road to healing. You seem to be doing great !!

[octopus]

i'm happy for you iwantherback. How I wish i could feel the same.

[Bigbilly]

I think you will probably relapse, because I know exactly what you are describing and I went through it also. But, stick to your guns, and the relapses will become fewer, further between, and less painfull. And then, one happy day, you will realize that you could care less about your ex. It's the best feeling in the world.

[AwdreeHpburn]

One day at a time Iwantherback! And this was a good one. Good for you. I'm really glad. And things will just keep getting better.

 

Keep posting and keep re-reading your previous posts and responses, more and more things will click and more and more time will pass and it will just keep getting easier.

 

WOOOO HOOOO Another day, another victory.

[GreatGuy]

Cheers my friend We ALL KNOW AND UNDERSTAND YOUR EVERY POST. I feel exactly the same way.....and we will be better from this. Make sure you're not consumed with anger, for she loves you in her own way. Create much better Karma out there ok? It will come back

[Nathalie1970]

Yippee.......

 

Keep up the positive attitude, and always remember you are worth it!!!!!!!

[healinginnyc81]

"iwantherback", you can now change your login name! I've been away a couple of days, but I'm really glad to see that you've been feeling better. Run with that good feeling as far as it takes you. If you have a relapse it won't be as bad because you now know that you CAN feel good again, that it IS possible to be happy and to enjoy life and move on. Good for you, man, I'm really proud of the progress you've been making despite all the ups and downs. Great job!

[AwdreeHpburn]

Yeh - change your login name to ....

 

I'm better without her OR I'm on my own and proud, or Single and Looking or.....

 

.....any other ideas??

[Dako]

Iamback!---------

[Nathalie1970]

Iamback!---------

 

I vote for this one....good pick, Dako

[coollady1957]

Thats a good idea on changing your log in name. You are making such great progress so changing the name to something more upbeat and positive would be great . I like Dako's idea as well.

[deejay74]

thanks for all the words of encouragement everyone! it means a lot.

 

this weekend was pretty tough, especially this past sunday. i really hate to admit it, but i called my ex and spoke to her. i asked her a couple of questions about her school and this program i was interested in and then i asked if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee b/c i was near her neighborhood. unfortunately she said she wasn't near there so we ended the conversation shortly after that. it was short and brief, and yeah i know i shouldn't have broke NC but on sunday, i really couldn't resist.

 

i didn't feel bad at all though, today i feel fine, for the most part. i took the day off work cuz i have some thing i need to take care of right now.

 

i know people will say i shouldn't have broke NC, but i did, and it wasn't bad. i guess i'll go back to NC for a while. we'll see what happens from here.

 

but thanks again everyone!

[NJRon]

Good that it didn't set you back, but you're right to go back to NC. Don't want to get too cocky and overdo it