better yourself cause you ahve freet ime not becasue u got dumped

[sukerbut]

i have been on this web sight for nearly 5 months...i was so fortunate for finding it..i can clearly remember how my world was rocked and turned upside down early october...i was betrayed and rejected by the only woman i ever loved enough to want to marry..the feeling of emptiness, new found loneliness, and worthlessness consumed me daily...but it was not my fault!! my biggest hurdle in getting over this was trying to search for answers as to why this woman that i loved so much would reject me not once, not twice but 3 times...well my friends as you know i am not on here to vent but to help now...I WANT EVERY dumpee to know it was not your fault...dont beat yourselves up..the pain will subside and when the blinders come off you will realize that its probably for the best this happened...i am so tired of reading posts about soul searching and bettering yourself becasue you were dumped by some one...I know i was the prize in this realtionship..i was the one with the values..so please folks as hard as it is ... pick up the pieces and better yoorselves becasue you have a new found freedom, not because youw were rejected..there is no reason to soul search..you are still the great person you were when you guys met...use the rection to fuel your fire..go to the gym..say to yourself next time she see's me her jaw will drop..make that network of friends you have bigger and stronger..dont quit..work throught the pain, aggrevation, frustration and use it to your advantage..its not goign to be easy but when you finally get there..you will be greatky rewarded..so get off your soory asss and start making moves..i dont care how hard it is...become better becasue you want too, not becasue someone that probably was not worth your time rejected you...living a good life is the best revenge ever...the only person that is stopping you is you...so lets go!!!

[coollady1957]

I am one of the " dumpers" but its almost like being the " dumpee" in my case. So I feel just as bad as having been dumped. My situation involved a boyfriend that cheated on me, I gave him another chance for redemption, but yet he cheated two more times on me in a matter of days. I was fed up with the lies, cheating and deception. He was playing games, wanted his cake and eat it too. He wanted me , and cried and begged me not to leave him. Promised to behave himself, time and time again, I decided I was not going to fall for his crap anymore, and take charge of my life. It hurt horribly that he didnt truly love me , and that he was willing to string me along all the while he played his dirty little sex games with other women. SO even with being the " dumper", I hurt as badly as if I had been just given the heave ho from him under a different situation. I agree with every thing you said above about moving on, taking charge , realizing its not my fault, and that is all better in the long run by having moved on and picked my self up off the floor. The pain does subside and things do begin to look brighter as long as you have the will power and strength to make the best of yourself no matter what.

[Titan4Life]

Your post so helped me, it acutally made me smile, and thank you so much, I use to hit the gym, and started looking good, since this happened I let everything go, but I wanna get back into the routine of the gym, making myself look soo good, that she says holy crap, and make her realize how good of a person i was and still am. Her loss my gain, again thank you so much bro, you honestly gave me an eye opener to my blame and shame game i was beating myself up with. I wanna get back into being the "GUY" everyone use to say wow at. Again thank you!

[gratefulpain]

lol suker.... you couldnt have said that 3 months ago..

[PassionatePices]

sukerbut hi 5 to you bro!

 

Great post!

 

Thanks!

[BellaDonna]

sukerbut,

 

You have come very far in your healing process. It's clear you are stronger both emotionally and physically. You look like you could bench press any problem that comes your way.

 

Good for you! Keep up the great work,

 

 

BellaDonna

[sukerbut]

cool lady i feel your pain..i should of dumped her also..she was not good to me..i was emotionally abused as well..i gave her my heart, my money, my time and my support..she was not for me..we both have very diffrent values..i mean a wolamn that sleeps with well over 20 guys by the time she is 22 and see's nothign wrong with it..has issues..i cought her lying to me but i wanted it our relationship work so much..i overlooked it..so yeah i know were you are coming from...it hurts..but the pain should make you determined and stronger to fight and win..and yes 3 motnhs ago..i could of not said what i am saying right now..and even if i did i would of not whole heartedly meant it..but at the same time i was working..working hard to better myself...this is the best i ahve ever lokied and felt in ym life..because of her...that terminology of what does not kill you only makes you stronger..is so true..i was so confident before she came back into my life..but sure enough she bought me down, made me feel bad about myself..made me feel insecureabout the relationship..AND i was the crazy one..do you know how hard it is to sit at dinner with her during her b-day and having to share the festivities with 3 other dudes that she was romantically involved in teh past.(that are now her so called friends) .she would get calls form her so called friend from jail (armed robbery adn heroin addict) that was just realesed in aug just so she can hang out witrh him.(of course as friends).eventually she made me into a lunatic i did not know if i was coming or going...i cant believe i loved this girl so much..she did me the biggest favor ever!! and i was the insecure and crazy guy in her eyes..i tried to heal her with my love instead i was thrown to the curb..things happen for a reason...now i know why..she was the cancer in my life..she bought me down..and i just fed of her rejection..looking back i still love her, but i never ever want our paths to cross again..i will not aloow myself to be toyed around liiek that ever again...one day she will pay the price, maybe not now, but in teh future she will realize what an awsome man iw as and regret it every day..i on the ohter hand will never have regrets..i will only be thankful to her..thankfull for bettering my life..thank you cris

[selfi]

good post but..sleeping with over 20 guys by the time ur 22 is not an issue o_o