shelly7 Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Thanks Silver Cloud! I'm trying to hang in there. I guess technically this is day eleven now, I don't know why I'm having a hard time this weekend, I wish I could just toughen up already! I went out with friends tonight, and I guess I'm just not good with late nights, so I'm going to hang out here until I fall asleep. I wonder where he is, or who he is with. I hate him, but I hate myself more for caring. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Thanks Silver Cloud! I'm trying to hang in there. I guess technically this is day eleven now, I don't know why I'm having a hard time this weekend, I wish I could just toughen up already! I went out with friends tonight, and I guess I'm just not good with late nights, so I'm going to hang out here until I fall asleep. I wonder where he is, or who he is with. I hate him, but I hate myself more for caring. Broken hearts are funny that way. I'm having the same problem lately. I hate my ex yet I want to know what she's doing when my thoughts wander. It sucks, and I always have that urge to look at her blog and find out what she's doing, but I know I'm stronger than that. We are all stronger than those that chose to leave us. Let's not give them that power. We are powerful and we will survive our heartbreak. Link to comment
shelly7 Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 We are all stronger than those that chose to leave us. Let's not give them that power. We are powerful and we will survive our heartbreak. Great post! Link to comment
Allie. Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 We are all stronger than those that chose to leave us. Let's not give them that power. We are powerful and we will survive our heartbreak. redmage...if you keep thinking so positively, you will be over this very fast. You're on the right path bro. Just keep blazing through this =D its okay. we're all here for you. Same for you shelly7 Allie. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Yeah Nc 6.... I think it's working. It was Canada and I was enjoying the evening with a new friend. Yesterday however, I did want to know what she was doing. However I was still having fun. The urge is strong, VERY strong today. But I know the outcome of me breaking Nc is worse than the withdrawl. Link to comment
Allie. Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 uhoh redmage..i just saw a post from you about how you ALMOST looked at her blog. Keep off the blogging site as a whole...whatever it is....like blogger or myspace..xanga...just stay off the site. Block it temporarily on your computer. It'll help bro. GOOD that you didn't go give in to the temptation but when your temptations become really strong...i would stay away from those sites as a whole or even stay away from the computer room as a whole. whatever floats your boat. Still proud of you! ~Allie. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 What happened was I saw another picture of hers on another website that I didn't expected to find her on. It shook me and I DID feel weak. But I remember how I always felt before I stopped seeling her blog... No it's still NC day 6 for me. Still keeping strong. Link to comment
Leigh Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hi guys, Hope you don't mind me chiming in so late... NC day 5 for me... relationship ended 6 weeks ago after living together for 1.5 years. Furniture etc. are all still back in our old apartment in California, but I'm now back in Canada trying to heal... working on my next move.. trying not to think about what he's doing and who he's with... this is SO difficult, but every day seems to get a little better. Link to comment
Allie. Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 What happened was I saw another picture of hers on another website that I didn't expected to find her on. It shook me and I DID feel weak. But I remember how I always felt before I stopped seeling her blog... No it's still NC day 6 for me. Still keeping strong. oh okay. i'm sorry it made you feel that way. but there's always going to be certain things that remind you of her...but also remember that great advice gaiden gave us...about how to view it as "I'm gone"...cuz like when you saw the picture...she wasn't emotionally "gone" anymore...just a suggestion. but keep on doing what ur doing. always. Allie. Link to comment
Allie. Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hi guys, Hope you don't mind me chiming in so late... NC day 5 for me... relationship ended 6 weeks ago after living together for 1.5 years. Furniture etc. are all still back in our old apartment in California, but I'm now back in Canada trying to heal... working on my next move.. trying not to think about what he's doing and who he's with... this is SO difficult, but every day seems to get a little better. No no no, you're definitely welcome here Leigh. You're on the right road Leigh but let me pass on to you a short piece of advice that our friend gaiden gave us =D I think it'll help. Day 13. I saw my therapist last night. Something he said to me was that he noticed I was much happier then last session and when he asked why I felt this way, I replied "Well, she's gone, I accept that and am moving on. She's my past and I plan to leave her there." -- he wasn't thrilled about my response. He said I shouldn't look at it as SHE'S gone, I should look at it in terms that I'M gone. hmm, I asked what the difference was. He said "You need to stop looking at it from HER point of view". He told me I can't control her actions and if she tried to contact me in the future, she would no longer be "gone" and it might send me into an emotional tailspin because I started down this path of healing based on the fact she was gone. If I look at it in terms that I'm gone, which is something that I CAN control, I will be much better prepared should she try to contact me or show back up in my life. Just food for thought. I know its very early in the healing process for you. I mean, I took his advice now...and i've been doing NC for over a month now. But I still think its healthier if you begin the healing process by looking at it not as: "oh, well i have no choice but to move on because HE'S the one that broke up with me and now HE'S gone!" but rather..."Well, he broke up with me...and yes he's gone..and may return...but...I'm gone for a long time." Don't put silly limits on your goals like "i'm gone forever" cuz we both know thats not true =D haha. And also, like gaiden said..when little things remind you of him, then he's not emotionally "gone". What if you see his picture. What if a friend brings him up? What if he calls about your stuff in the apartment?...i hope you get what i'm trying to say. haha. but its just a suggestion. You're headed STRAIGHT down the right road. But. I just think that it might be healthier if you view this situation as an "I'm-gone" situation. Always, Allie. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 NC 7 for me. Still keeping strong. She's not on my mind nearly as much anymore. I still have moments when I miss her and I would like her friendship. Pangs of need are in my body. That's life I guess Link to comment
gaiden Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 blah, day 17. Haven't heard from her since day 9 when she text messaged me. I guess me calling the probation officer and cops pretty much scared her away for a while, if not for good. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have done that but she didn't leave me much choice because of what she did. This weekend has been hard because we had plans to go camping (for the 4th) and see a firework show. The plans were the last thing we talked about before she left. Today, the post office delivered the confirmation letter that her change of address form has been processed. That didn't do much to make my day. The sun hasn't come out yet and it's been raining most of the day. I guess fireworks will be out for today. I gotta find something else to do Link to comment
shelly7 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hang in there guys! Day 12 for me. I was doing great today until, I went shopping for a bathing suit and cried in the dressing room, when I thought about him going on vacation with his wh***. Link to comment
Leigh Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 No no no, you're definitely welcome here Leigh. Thanks for the advice, Allie. Day 6 NC for me... the ex spoke with my father over MSN today and asked whether or not I've started working at my old job again yet... I've since instructed my father to be aloof when he asks questions like this... no details.. he doesn't deserve to know about my life anymore and CERTAINLY not by bypassing me... What a coward. Grrrr. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 What a coward. Grrrr. My ex to a 'T'. Mistakes we'll never make again. Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 NC day 8 for me. Hate the * * * * * now. I think letting go is going to become really easy REALLY soon. Link to comment
jeffreyt Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Getting easier and feeling better about myself everyday even though I almost texted her earlier I turned on VH1 and this show called my fair brady was on and I couldn't believe how much my ex resembles her and I almost texted her to tell her I found her twin(geez how dumb would that have been) Why do we think of such stupid reason to contact out ex's during NC it's amazing but I feel great that I didn't text her. Everyone continue to stay strong we can do it. Link to comment
shelly7 Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Day 13: I will put on a happy face and go out with friends now, if I keep pretending to be happy and okay, maybe it will eventually happen. Link to comment
jeffreyt Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Shelly7, you can do it stay strong, and keep thinking what my two quotes say. Link to comment
shelly7 Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Shelly7, you can do it stay strong, and keep thinking what my two quotes say. I really do like your quotes! Thanks! You sound like you're doing really well. Keep it up! Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Almost violated it. Hard because we share many mutual friends... well acutally we share just one mutual friend, her brother. He almost showed me a picture. Crap and now I'm getting urges to see her blog. I want to know what this new guy looks like but I KNOW if I do I will see them together and I will suffer again. Suffering IS a choice. I make the choice to abate my curiosity and treat this guy like a short, fat, ugly rebound guy. NO! I am curious, but I MUST NOT SUFFER AGAIN. Link to comment
gaiden Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 about to pass through day 18 on to 19. quickly approaching 3 weeks. didn't contact her for the holiday. i was so ambivilent about the whole thing... there were times i wanted to, then there where times i didn't. i KNOW she was waiting for it.. again, one day at a time... sighhhh. Link to comment
shelly7 Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Okay, well technically as of right now it's 14 days. My anxiety is off the charts right now, but I know it will pass. I wonder if he has any clue of the pain he inflicted on me. I wonder if he even cares. I'm so mentally exhausted, but I can't sleep. I can't wait to be over this!!! Link to comment
mikeca Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 3 months now...I cant believe its been so long...lately after finding out her brother (my best friend) might come back to town for a visit I've thought about extending the olive branch...but im still unsure Link to comment
Allie. Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Hey all of you! Sorry I haven't been on lately...it looks to me as if all of us are moving on =D! Just keep on doing NC and u'll be just fine. And remember... there's ALWAYS a difference between what we want and what we need =D always. Allie. Link to comment
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