She Finally Succeeded

[Victory]

Well, I had been dating my ex for a year and half. For the last 12 years his best friend has been a girl. She has always had a thing for him. She has always tried to be with him. And I guess it has finally worked. He is leaving me for her. I cannot even begin to describe the pain I feel right now. I feel so betrayed. I don't even know what to do. She basically stole him away. She hasn't given up for 12 years. I wrote him a letter saying I still feel that we should be together, that if she has to steal him to get him for herself that that is a very selfish thing to do, but that the only thing he can do is follow his heart. Whatever. I don't know what will happen now. All I know is my heart is breaking. Has this happened to anyone else?

[Dark-Eternal]

Well its the first case i heard a girl was 'THAT' persistent, 12 years long is just wow, in not giving up into willing to wait for what you want. From your point of view it must be the worst thing, but you have no idea what has happened behind your back. It basically meant that you have been her rival for a 'long' time, and that she has been planning 'all sorts' of things into getting him into her world.

 

I don't think you expected her to deliver 'that' kind of a fight into conquering him. But to be honest i don't think their relationship will last that long, i mean if 'he' really saw something in her then he would have dated her 12 years ago, i say give it 6-8 months and they will have splitted up again, you just have to be like a fishermen and have patience till the fish come biting again.

 

If i where you i suggest you don't aggrevate yourself over this, I think that if you give it time , he'll come back to you but not immediately, it will take time to realise him the exact reason again why he didn't date her for all those years to begin with.

[red10]

I can relate to exactly how you are feeling - my ex decided to pursue his "old friend" from college - she got married and even had a kid to try to save her marriage (that's selfish in itself) and when that didn't work out, she decided to call my now Ex, and confess her love to him, which apparently he wants to "go for it" - they haven't seen each other in years, and they've been writing letter to each other...he ripped my heart out. I have a lot of anger towards her, and him, cause he probably didn't tell her about me, but then again, what does it matter?

 

i told him the same thing to, that he has to follow his heart, and that is it.

[red10]

they are living in a fantasy and have to see what's on the other side (which of course we hope its crap) but for some reason, they can't see what's right in front of them, it's sad really. but we have to do what's best for us - move on, don't give him the time of day - he doesn't deserve it...

 

and dark eternal is right, we don't know what has been going on behind the scene - only what our Exes have told us...so we need to keep pushing forward and don't let them get the best of us.

[mystik]

hey there... Unfortunately, that has happened to me too. I can even tell you when: exactly three weeks ago....give or take a couple of hours. I knew it was going to happen before it did and posted a thread about women's instincts ( if you'd like to check that out )...anyway, I just knew she was after him too. She always went crying to him whenever her relationships didn't work out, whenever her friends were mean to her, etc... and I mean, literally she went crying to him so he always had to comfort her. Like you, I also wrote a letter! (are we supposed to be soulmates? ) Said basically the same things, and that he can't help what he feels, that I understand that...but he should know I gave him the world and if he couldn't see that, then he never deserved me. He e-mailed me back saying that I'm right. I've been trying to maintain full No Contact since. It's hard, but I feel SO much better these days...and it was only three weeks ago! I know how you feel, I couldn't eat, sleep, do ANYTHING for days. This post here though, is a must read... I felt enlightened and ten times better just reading it. (Your pain will be described almost perfectly ) Feel free to PM me if you want to talk..or just continue posting in here.

 

P/S Finding enotalone was the best thing that could have happened to me after being dumped... hope you feel the same way soon*

[Victory]

Wow. I didn't think I would receive so many responses so fast. Thank you all. I mean, he hasn't gone to her YET, but I feel like it is inevitable at this point. He is breaking up with me to work on himself, which is not a lie (but probably not the complete truth either), but he did kiss her three days after we broke up. Then he said it was a mistake. Now he tells me is not sure what he wants, he doesn''t want to be with anyone at this point, but that he does like her as more than a friend. He said a part of him still wants to be with me as well. I still don't see how he could know her for 12 years and then just start liking her. The general consensus among those who know us is that when things started getting rough between us, curiosity got the better of him and now he wants to test the waters with her, so to speak. Anyways I gave him my letter, we have to meet tomorrow to discuss bills (we shared an apt), and then we are going to NC for a month and discuss afterwards. The do live about four hours apart, so there is not too much they can do in this time. I am going to try and move on. I personally feel eventually he will regret his decision and come back to me, but I also feel that when that happens it will probably be too late. I suppose it is his loss.

[mystik]

My ex isn't with her yet either (not that I know of) but when he first broke up with me he said it was to "deal with something that I have to work out with me and myself only" and then a few days later he admitted he had fallen for and started feeling that way a month before. He had no feelings for her before that, and I know he didn't - he didn't even find her attractive. But a month ago I overheard his guy friends saying "hey we thought was hot when we first met her and I heard his reply, "what? I never thought so... Really?" I don't know if I'm wrong or right...but I think that's when he first saw her in that light after two years of platonic friendship. My ex and the girl live on the same floor on a campus residence so I'm just waiting to hear the news from mutual friends that they are dating :S In a way I hope I never find out. In your case though, I wonder how they expect it to work out. Anyway, I like your attitude about it, it definitely is his loss. If he can't see a good thing when it's right in front of him, then he's not really that great himself.