I finally heard from Bozo & another development

[ff7fan]

The ex finally contacted me, through voicemail that is. He left a message saying he is moving in with some girl and they can't take the cat so he said I can have her if I still want her. I don't know if it's for real or if he's trying to get to me by saying he's moving in with someone. As far as I'm concerned she can have his nasty butt, but I would like to have MY cat back. I think I'll call his mom and tell her if it's for real we can set up a time for me to get the cat but I don't want any contact with him. What do you think? Someone threw something at my house last weekend and then sped off, so I don't know if it was him trying to get to me and since he failed he's going to try to use the cat to lure me in, or what.

 

The other development is I got asked out for Friday night. I said no thanks, not right now, but at least I know I'm not as undesirable as my ex tried to make me feel.

[Hope75]

Hey Girl,

 

Sure, call the ex's mom and see if it's true and if you can have the cat. If she says yes, arrange for a friend ( a male) to come with you and go to the door to pick up the cat with you.

 

If it's a hoax, ignore the next call/threat/bait tossed out by the ex.

 

Good luck!

 

You are NOT undesirable. Your ex is just feeling pathetic because he couldn't take advantage of you anymore so he's trying to make YOU feel bad!

[ratherbesailing]

ff -

 

I don't know how attached you are to the cat but there'd be nothing better than ignoring his call and if he does reach you tell him you've already got another cat. No connection to him is best, and the cat will be a type of connection, but if you really want the cat back, I think your idea of talking to his mom is perfect.

 

I'm sorry he tried to make you feel undesirable. He's a jerk.

[Bethany]

I have to agree with ratherbesailing. If you DO take in the cat, he could use it as excuse in the future to come back into your life and ask after it's well being when ever he felt like it and you will probably have him hanging around for as long as the cat lives, which could be a very long time. Don't let sentiment and your fondness for this cat rule your rational mind.

[Scout]

Hey Girl,

 

Sure, call the ex's mom and see if it's true and if you can have the cat. If she says yes, arrange for a friend ( a male) to come with you and go to the door to pick up the cat with you.

 

But if she's with a male, won't that set her ex off? Maybe she should go with his mom.

[Itsok]

I'd get the cat back. I'm not sure how he got it in the first place since he has no care in his soul about the animal anyway.

[Scout]

Oh, I would DEFINITELY get the cat back, too. Just want to make sure he doesn't take out any anger on the cat, so she needs to handle this delicately.

[Hope75]

But if she's with a male, won't that set her ex off? Maybe she should go with his mom.

 

Well my thought was to pick up the cat when the ex wasn't around, but to bring the male for protection, just in case. This guy has been known to fly off the handle. If she goes alone, and he cajoles her and pleads her to come back and she says no, I'm concerned for her safety.

 

I'm very attached to my cat and I suspect she loves her cat as well and would like to have her back safe.

[ShySoul]

Arrange to get the cat and then distance yourself as much as possible from him. You don't need to have any reminder of him in your life.

 

Take time to yourself and don't think about dating for awhile. When you are ready, you will know. But on the bright side, guys notice you and find you desirable. And one day you will meet someone who is right for you, and you'll forget all about the jerk you were with.

[ff7fan]

I called his mom last night to ask her about it. She told me he's moving in with some drunk chick he met right after I kicked him out and that all they do is drink. She said that she told him the cat can stay at her house because she doesn't think they'll take care of it anyway, but he insisted he wanted to give her back to me. That makes me think that he's just using this as a way to keep a link going, like some of you said. I ended up telling her if she's willing to keep her then I don't want anything to do with it as long as she has a good home so tell him for me that I'll take a pass and I'd rather he doesn't call my house.

 

I would love to take her but not if it means he's going to hold it over me somehow.

[Itsok]

Honestly, let his mom pick up the cat and then you go get it from her. If you love the kitty there's no reason you shouldn't have the poor thing! It's probably so confused being tossed around between homes like that.

 

If I were you I would take the kitty back. He has no hold over you and will be preoccupied with his new toy for some time now. Why not have your little friend, who is missing his other kitty friend too???

[ff7fan]

I do miss her - despite her habit of chewing on me as her way of playing, she is a snuggly little thing. My older cat always acted like she was a bother, but I think she misses her too because she's moping around the house now. I don't know how to call his mom without seeming like a psycho now, but I might this weekend.

[Beyondthesea]

Give it a whirl. Obviously she doesn't want the cat anyhow, so why not ask? It can't hurt anything really.