What should i do???

[Extege]

this is the first time i have entered something in her so im sorry if it alittle scratchy... i just need so advice...

 

 

Ok.. well me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 2 and a half years..

 

and latley we have both been contimplating our relationship..For the past few days we have been agrueing constantly... and it all because of this one kid that she work with and his name is Ryan... (who she thinks is Hot)She told me.. .

 

about 2 months ago she stated telling me about this kid Ryan and she said that he liked to pick on her and make fun of her(not in a mean way).. and so i was like well does he know you have a Bf.. and she was like well yes.. so i was like ok... it does not bother me as much...

 

Then about a month ago i got out of work early so i desided to visit my Gf where see worked... and on my way there see got a break and called me and asked what i was doing and i told her i got out early and i was coming to visit until she got out.(which was about 30 to 40 minutes by the time i got there).. .. I was like ill be there in about 10 - 15 minutes and she was like well take you time..

 

So when i got there she was at a cash register next to Ryan(both cashiers).. so i walk up to her and said how are you and how was her day.. and she answered me.. and then i was like "is that Ryan" in a wisper so he did not hear me.. and she was like yea.. i was like ok.. so i keeped talking to my Gf and either of them did not say a single word to each other...

 

so after she gets out we do some shopping and we are heading for the check out and i see that Ryans line i like the smallest one... so i was like" lets go over there" she was like no this line is fine which was not long but it was not the shortest.. and i was like ok and i was like if you dont want to go threw his line i will and she was like "No dont".. so that was pretty much it for that night...

 

then about a week ago.. she calls me at work and is like a guy asked me for my number(cell phone)... so we can hang out sometime... and i was like was it Ryan and she was like yes...

 

and then i had to get back to work so i got off the phone and about 20 minutes later... i called her... and i was like you dont need to give him your phone number...

 

and she started saying it was just so they could hang out some time.. and i was like i hope not by your self... and she was like well no but with a bunch of people.. i was like ok.. we said good bye and hung up...

 

when i met her at home( I live with her at her parents house, Longer story) i asked her if she gave him her number and she was like no i wanted to talk to you first to see if it was ok with you.. than this one.. and she was like are you sure i can give him my number and by that time i kinda thought it over and was like well cant you just be work friends for now... she was like we are just friends..i was like thats ok... but do you really need a personal relationship with him right now.. (shes has know him like 3 or 4 months)... she was like where just friends nothing more.. so i was like it does bother me i dont even know the kid.. the only time i saw him was that one night .. and i never talked to him... and she was like where just friends.. so that was that night for the most part..

 

The next night after we where both home from work i was like did you give him your number she was like "NO".. so i was like cant you just wait a while.. and we started arguign and the rest of the night we agrued..she finally told me she did give him her number. And she said that he probly would hardly ever call an this and that.. and then she was like he asked me to go out with him something.. and i said what did you say back.. she said"maybe"... She said she wanted to see if what it would like to be single again.. and i was like so you want to break up... and she was like no .. i said"You must if you are saying that" and she was like well i kinda do...and but we worked things out and we desided to stay together(after alot of tears from the both of us).. so that night i slept in her bed.( NO we did not have sex).

 

the next morning things seemd like they where back to normal and so we went to school and the day was fine... that night i had to work and she had practice.. when she got out she called me and was like im stopping at walmart to pick up something to drink.. she was like ill call you when i get out of walmart and i was like ok ..so she called and talked on her way home(while i was at work).

 

when i got home i had to get somestuff out of her car.. and when i went in there there was a receipt for where she worked for the stuff she bought like 40 mins ago... so i braught that up to her attention( she was in the bathtub) and i was like" I thought you went to walmart.."" she said.. i thought you would get mad.. i was like y would you get made she was like idk... so i was like i dont care just dont lie anymore.. she was like ok... so i went down stairs to get some food... and so i desided to check her cell phone.. and i a outbox message is said" so when do you want to hang out.. if you still want to..""'.. and i was like what the hell... so i brought that up to her attention.. and i was like i thought you wernt really going to do anything with him.. and she was like in sorry im sorry...so that night we made up

 

what would be today... she got like 5 texts from him( thats what she told me)... so i asked if this was going to happen every day ..she was like whats the problem where just friends.. and she was like and what if it does what does it matter...

 

and that brought me to here... i dont know if i should believe her...she wont let me use her cell phone... she doesnt want me going to where she works... and i think she likes him... but she does not want to hurt me... so i dont know what i should do!!! I love her to death.. and i hope she loves me too.. i am jelous and i dont think its right.. i guess i just wont other peoples oppions...

 

 

 

Thank you..

if you reply

[HaloDestroyer]

She's slowly shutting you out.

 

This is the most awful thing I've ever had done to me.

 

My advice to you? Tell her, straight to her face. She has to choose right now, between you or him. And if she picks him, you're not going to come crawling back, and you're not going to take her back, it's over.

 

This is the only way that deals with this kind of situation that I know of.

 

Sorry to be the bearer of grim tidings!!

 

Hope this helps...

[ocrob]

I know that it sounds crazy, but she just might be happy meeting a new friend. I guess you have to be confident and not worry about it. If she chooses him, then you have to move on. I guess you could tell her that. Just say that it makes you uncomfortable that she talks to him, but if she chooses him, then you will be on your way. It is so hard being a guy and seeing your woman look a bit, but just know that she will either be with you or not. My new attitude is that if a woman wants me great, if not then move on. Just have the attitude that you are the man, and if she does not see that, then let her go. I don't see this as a bad thing yet and if you get too jealous, then you might pull her away. Just make things clear to her. Say that you don't mind her having male friends, but if she cheats, she is gone.

[Slagar]

Hmm, I agree with HaloDestroyer on this one.

I was with my ex for 22 months, and she started hanging out with some guy at work also. She always told me they were "just mates"... I trusted her and believed her at the time, but the reality is she stopped making time for me, she was always "just too busy" to see me, and then finally we went out like twice, and she let me go. Of course, I find out a few days later she's going out with the other guy, but not from her.

 

You may love her and care for her, but she's definitely in the process of turning on you. She's lying to you to be with Ryan... and it's true, she may not know whether she wants to be with him or you, but the reality is, it's really not fair on you to have to get dragged through this.

 

Talk to her again. I suggest all or nothing, because at the moment, she's certainly not giving you the love, trust, and commitment you deserve after such a long time together.

If you have to break it off, enter no contact, and exit from her life. Trust me, I've just gone through this... even though it hurts like hell, you do NOT want to "be friends". If she's not willing to commit to you, then say your goodbyes.

 

Goodluck

 

Edit:

Hmm, what ocrab says is true. It's fine if she has male friends, but the reality is, she is _lying_ to be with that guy. She is attracted to him. Let her know the facts, tell her what she has done from your point of view. Coming from someone who has just gone through this, I really have to say if she's not willing to tell you the truth, then cut your losses and move on.

[Relationship Coach]

It's time to find a new place to live. This relationship has less than 30 days in my opinion. She has been flirting with this guy and has thought about being single, of course until she gets together with him. She has something to hide, either you from him or the chemistry between the two of them. Hence, why she did not want to go through his check out line.

 

This business about lying about Walmart? She tells you he asked for her number but is willing to lie about something simple. There are many more lies undiscovered and many more to come. Exploring a new friendship, NOT! How would she take this if the roles were reversed? You'd be looking for a new place to live, which as I said in the beginning is what you need to do. She has broken your trust, clearly has shown interest in this guy and now she wont let you see her phone. It all ads up, the only thing she hasn't done yet is brought him home to mom and dad but that will happen the moment you move out. I'm telling you, dump her and never look back. This is a life of pain you are headed for unless you get out now!

 

RC