What are the lessons we learned from this break-up?

[Just Visiting]

I learned it is better to take things slow and dont force a square peg into a round hole. My ex and I were fundamentally incompatible and I knew it from the beginning but I wanted a relationship so bad and I was so mesmerized by the fact that someone wanted me so bad, was so much in love with me, etc., that I was willing to overlook some of the glaring incompatabilities between us. I even tried to adapt to his way of living and doing things although after a while, I got sick of that.

 

It is also not a good idea to date a guy who is a perpetual child because they WILL NEVER grow up, not even for you, and if you try to make them grow up, they see you as the evil witch.

 

I have learned these lessons from my past two relationships. I feel sad just thinking back to how much I bent over backwards to make my partner happy. Meanwhile, I was giving so much of myself that I was losing my identity. BIG LESSON.

 

I also realized that I attract men who are emotionally immature. Men who resembled my father. For some reason, I always felt that with enough love and attention, they will give me what I wanted and needed. Not so. Now I am working on breaking that pattern of behaviour and thinking.

[bobo85]

The things i learned from my breakup:

 

1. People change

2. Don't rely on other people for happiness

3. Time really does heal a heartbreak (i never understood this until recently)

4. It's okay to be single

5. To find real love we have to pay our dues.

[Diggitydave]

when its over, its over

[deejay74]

[bOLD]

2. Don't rely on other people for happiness

[/bOLD]

 

i think this is THE most important lesson i've learned and what a lesson it is! i had to lose someone in order to learn the lesson.

 

i am sure it must've been hard on my ex for me relying on her for my own happiness when she was trying to focus on her own goals. if only i could have known this when we were going out but at least i've learned, right?

[Dako]

I learned how much pain I can endure, but that's nothing compared to learning I may risk it again!

[furakura]

What i learned from my breakup:

 

1) Time is a great healer

2) Do not live in hope that your ex will return and move on

3) Forgive and forget

[Meeky]

......but a really excellent quote I read once said:

 

Of course he is going to miss you. But the only reason he CAN miss you is because he is choosing every SINGLE day to live without you.

 

You can't make someone love you. You can't make a relationship work if the other person doesn't want to. You can't fix something that was probably broken from the beginning.

[spitkicker]

I've learned that the only person you can count on is yourself, your mother, and your father.

 

I have also realized that if you don't look out for your happiness, no one else will.

[ut_longhorn]

love is mysterious.

[itsallgrand]

I'm learning

 

*Holding a guard is pointless. Love deeply and without reservation

*Love is not about sacrificing oneself like a lamb to the slaughter. It is sharing all that we have.

*All we have to share is our selves. To give anything else is delusion - it is not ours.

*I am a spiritual person who didn't know it.

*No love is a waste.

*Forgetting and forgiveness is an art worth practise

*Heart is more important to me than ideals.

[Rainz]

I've learned to go with my gut.

 

When it's done - it's done.

 

Rely on yourself for your own happiness.

 

Have your own life and interests outside of your relationship.

 

If it feels like it's too good to be true then it probably is.

 

That I can love deeply and truly if I'm hurting so bad.

 

Actions speak louder than words.