I really screwed this situation up.

[tomservo]

I'm not sure if this really belongs in this forum, but here goes.

 

Flirted back and forth with this girl at work for two years. Let's call her Sara. She broke up with her boyfriend and we tried to start dating back in August. It didn't work out. I never really got over it completely, but she did and started dating someone else.

 

Fast forward a few months and I decide that I want to ask out another friend from work. We'll call her Lisa. Well, we are all three friends so it feels kind of awkward. For one thing, I wasn't sure if she was single or not. So, I talk to Sara about it. She tells me that, yes, Lisa is single. So, I ask her out. Unfortunately, she misunderstood me and thought I was asking her on, like, a group date. So she invites Sara and some other people. Sara tells me about this and she informs Lisa that, no, I meant is as a date for just the two of us.

 

Anyway, we go out and for some reason it feels like Lisa doesn't really want to be there. That was probably just my pessimistic nature though. Because of that, I was kind of uncomfortable around her the next few days at work, and I didn't really talk to her much. A few days later this guy that another girl at work was trying to set Lisa up with comes by and asks her out. The worst part about it was that Lisa asked me for a pen to write her number down to give to the guy. *ouch*

 

I then send Lisa a STUPID e-mail saying that I didn't realize that she was seeing someone and that I was sorry if she felt guilted into going out with me. Needless to say, things pretty much ended after that. She's still dating this guy and that's all I know.

 

Well, after all this, I thought that I still had feelings for Sara. Maybe I did/do maybe I didn't/don't. I was, and still am, very confused. So, I send ANOTHER stupid e-mail to Lisa saying that I still had feelings for Sara. She didn't respond. Now I've found out that Lisa said to another friend that I was still hot for Sara and that she (Lisa) wouldn't be second to anyone. I'm not really sure what this means. I was under the impression that Lisa didn't want to pursue anything with me, so why would she say that? Why would it matter? I had told her that if she just wanted to be friends that it would be fine with me. No hard feelings.

 

The thing is, and this makes me sound like a complete idiot, I don't really feel the same way about Sara as I used to. I mean, she's dated a few other guys since me and she has already said countless times that there's no chance for us. And truthfully, I'm kind of glad. Because I feel a lot of resentment towards her still.

 

BUT, I still really like Lisa. We're still (as far as I know) real friendly to each other. She's always really nice when we see each other, and in her e-mails. Except for the last e-mail. It was very, um, business-like. Not very friendly, but not to say it was mean or anything. Just, straight and to the point.\

 

I'm not really sure what I'm asking for here though. Just some input I guess. Thanks.

[HaloDestroyer]

In my honest opinion, I would cease to focus on 'Lisa' (She obviously just was not interested - fair enough, you can't win all the time, right?!).

 

Instead, I would go straight to 'Sara', and tell her exactly how you feel. This would clear everything up in her mind, and maybe you could start to build something on this. It depends on whether she is taken or not, but it is the only honest and honourable thing to do, in my mind.

 

Hope this helps...

[tomservo]

Oh 'Sara' knows exactly how I feel. She just doesn't feel the same way anymore apparently.

 

Plus, she IS seeing someone else right now. That's kind of what started this latest round of, um, awkwardness. I found out that she was dating this guy from work and I e-mailed 'Lisa' about it.

 

And I don't know that 'Lisa' wasn't interested. She complained to me that I barely spoke to her after our date (which was true) and that she went out with that other guy because he asked her out and she wasn't doing anything that night. Because I didn't ask her out again. I'm sure that if I had asked her out that she would have said yes and I wouldn't be asking anyone for advice.

 

Thanks for the quick reply!

[Yonik]

Dude, your wishy washiness just killed any energy between BOTH women. Go out, get drunk, f**k your obligatory fat chick, and then get back to work with some semblance of a spine encased in your back.

 

DO NOT BOTHER with either again. Dont even cling on to that shimmer of hope that ignoring them will somehow get them to want you sexually again. Just forget them, move on. And if either does try to get back with you, you have a one drunk "sex and dump her" allowance and THAT IS IT. Afterwards you should be overflowing with alpha confidence and you should be back in the game in a few.

 

You're welcome.

[tomservo]

I never said anything about sex. Some guys have other priorities besides "titties n' beer".

[solo34]

I never said anything about sex. Some guys have other priorities besides "titties n' beer".

 

 

Amen, Tomservo...

 

-Solo34

[whatif]

Sorry to say this, but you can't stand on two boats at the same time. So quit flirting with all these girls who are connected each other and find yourself a girl who had no earthily idea who is Sara and Lisa. And don't tell the new girl that you still have feelings for both Sara and Lisa. Just take it easy man.

[tomservo]

Oh, I'm not trying to stand in two boats at the same time. I've come to realize in the past few weeks that whatever feelings I THOUGHT that I had for 'Sara' aren't there anymore. I was very confused about my feelings. And I stuck my foot in my mouth by telling 'Lisa' what I told her. I was also under the impression that 'Lisa' only wanted to be friends long before this all came up.