How to get through this?

[SadnGeorgia]

I am fairly new here. I recently posted under Trust and Relationships. I was having trouble trusting my bf of 3 years (fiance of 6 months). He had been dishonest with me, and in return told me we need to take a break. I found out that he has had a personal ad on one of the personals website for almost 2 months now. Heartbreaking yet relieved I finally know the truth. I know it is the easy way out for him to put me on hold and hopefully I would just disappear. I just wish he could have been honest and came forward, it would have hurt but I wouldn't have had false hope. All I can say, is that when you are having trouble in your relationship, always go with your gut feeling. Because your mind probably agrees with it, it is your hurting heart that doesn't. All week long I was dying to talk to him wanting to work things out and tell him how I was feeling. Now, I find this out and no longer want any contact, nor will he get a hold of me!

[Hope75]

Hey Girl,

 

Ouch.... I'm so sorry!

 

That must have really hurt to see that. You had a feeling, and you were smart to follow your gut instinct.

 

Does he know you know about the ad?

 

What does he have to say for himself?

[venus777]

I'm sorry, it's so hard to trust people when things like that happen, we all end up carrying baggage with us cause people who told us that they loved us betray us. Did you have feelings before you found out about the personal ads for the first time that there was something wrong.

I'm sorry, and yes, it is true that the sooner you take care of yourself and get rid of him, the sooner you will heal and move on and find someone that treats you like you deserve to be treated.

[coollady1957]

I agree that you should trust your gut feeling and instincts. Its horrible that he did things they way he did with you. I completely know how you feel. I had a similar situation with my now ex bf . He was signing up on dating single sites and posted profiles to meet women. I feel you will be better off moving on and finding some one that respects you and will not play these games with you.

[SadnGeorgia]

Well to answer Hope75....I copied his single post and sent it to him in his email...with a few nice things to say....can you believe he had the nerve to use pictures in his post that I took of him! And no, we haven't spoke and I don't want to at this point. All he is going to do is try to turn it back around on me, I don't need to hear that.

And venus77...thank you, I agree with you....but the funny thing is is this was my second serious relationship(long-term) and the first ended pretty much the same except for the fact that I had gotten pregnant and so did the girl he was cheating on me with....yes our children are about 2 weeks apart.....it took me years to get over that one.....I don't know how long this one will take.

[SadnGeorgia]

Also....this is really good. In his little quote on his personal ad, he says he wants to find someone to share love and TRUST....funny huh...trust...I counted about 5 lies in his profile alone!

[Hope75]

Awww girl, he sounds like a real loser. I'm glad that you found out when you did, to save you from further heartbreak. Of course that doesn't help for what you've already been through.

 

I hope with time you will be able to see that not all men are like this, and sometimes we have to go through a few duds before we find a really good, honest, respectful and loving one. And this goes for the guys who have suffered heartbreak as well.

 

Hang in there, you are strong woman and a role model for your child.

 

(HUGS)

[mary1960]

It's very sad. Love can hurt.

[venus777]

yeah, just hang in there and trust that you are doing the right thing by leaving him and not communicating with him. Stay strong, woman!!