Hallows_Eve Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 i love my gf so much with all my heart .. and she loves me with all of hers too ...we are commited 2 each other and are very much in love .. but lately it seems thats shes been trying 2 push me away .. she tells me she loves me and she plans on spending a long time with me ... and that she doesnt know why she pushes me away ... shes had bf's in the past that have lied and treated her like * * * * when she trusted them ... so im thinking she might have a trust issue ... does any1 have any advice on how 2 help her? .. or know of any way that i can show her how much she means 2 me and that i would never hurt her? Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 i love my gf so much with all my heart .. and she loves me with all of hers too ...we are commited 2 each other and are very much in love .. but lately it seems thats shes been trying 2 push me away .. she tells me she loves me and she plans on spending a long time with me ... and that she doesnt know why she pushes me away ... shes had bf's in the past that have lied and treated her like * * * * when she trusted them ... so im thinking she might have a trust issue ... does any1 have any advice on how 2 help her? .. or know of any way that i can show her how much she means 2 me and that i would never hurt her? Oh man...this same exact situation came up in my last relationship... Well, my advice is to keep showing your support for her, but I think ultimately if this relationship is going to continue and progress, I think you should encourage her to talk to a therapist...even if for a couple sessions...I really think that is the way to go...it really has done wonders for a lot of people I know... Link to comment
TheLegend Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Oh man...this same exact situation came up in my last relationship... yeah, I had this too, and it came to a point where I was heart broken because of the lack of trust..She told me from the beginning she doesn't trust *anyone*. I tried to be the one she trusted, HA! mistake Never happened just lost my time Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 Well, my advice is to keep showing your support for her, but I think ultimately if this relationship is going to continue and progress, I think you should encourage her to talk to a therapist...even if for a couple sessions...I really think that is the way to go...it really has done wonders for a lot of people I know... Bingo. This isn't a problem in your relationship so much as it's a problem with her. Being supportive and there for her is the best and all that you can do, but ultimately it's not going to be enough. Some therapy for herself is really the way to go. Link to comment
Hallows_Eve Posted February 18, 2006 Author Share Posted February 18, 2006 well its not a big serious trust problem ... its kinda hard 2 explain ... but i'll try ... in the past shes had her ex bf's tell her they love her so they could make her do thigns she didnt want 2 do ... im pretty sure u know what i mean .. and they would cheat on her .. a couple of months ago her high school crush calls her and tells her he loves her ... she says shes taken .. he gets pissed and calls her mean names .. now yesterday ... she tells me her friend called her and says he loves her ... and then she tells me shes slept with him in the past long before she knew me (i have my own insecurities about this but we'll get to those later lol) ... she loves me dearly and believes me when i say that i love her .. but its just sometimes she doubts herself ... dunno if i made it clearer or more confusing lol .. thanx for the advice i appreciate it ... and i will continue supporting her and being there 4 her as i always have been and always will be ... if anyone can think of any advice i'ed like 2 hear it thanx Link to comment
changes Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 i am your girlfriend *not literally* i've been hurt and i'm in a relationship now and know that part of my trust issues stem from past relationships. do your best to be considerate and reassuring. if you feel that isn't working, and you reach a breaking point, most important thing to do, is be honest w/her in how you feel. Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 well its not a big serious trust problem ... I'm telling you bro, I've been in this situation before and thought the same thing...only to find out later it really is a big thing... Watch your step... Link to comment
Aquarian-Princess Posted March 1, 2006 Share Posted March 1, 2006 did u ever think maybe ur gf doesnt trust u bc of ur past? Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I agree with everyone else...just keep telling her, that you are not like the other guys...and that you can be trusted...and just keep telling her that you love...her But I suggest do it little romantic ways something that she will remember! I know that would work on me! Try buying those plastic flowers, just one and write on it with permanent marker...I love you! And I am not going anyway...just something like that! Its very corny but it works! Link to comment
Aquarian-Princess Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 no....no it wont work... he should dump her Link to comment
Burning Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 This issue isn't about you or your relationship. It is about her. She has issues she needs to deal with. If she is willing to do that, your relationship will survive. If she isn't, it won't. Plain as that. Trust me on this one...I didn't get to be this age without accumulating any wisdom. B Link to comment
Aquarian-Princess Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 trust me she isnt willing to... Link to comment
Hernj62 Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 I'm guilty of charge. Your girlfriend and I would get along. I am the same exact way. No matter what extent my BF goes through to make me feel secure in the relationship, I always twist it,make it into a fight or push him away. I become very skeptical when he goes to the extreme bc then I think he's trying to hard, and he has to be hiding something. My major problem is past relationships. You must understand, girls can be broken for a very long time even though our hearts are in the most current place. Each and every heartbrake especially due to lack of trust, makes our expectations lower and lower. Sometimes we cant help to think that sooner or later something will happen that will hurt us no matter how much you try to tell them you won't. So by pushing away, she is trying to protect herself from the well known pain she has unfortunalty been affected by. Sometimes my boyfriend wants to give up on me, and I don't blame him bc who knows if it'll get better but I love my bf and he loves me just like you two and you sticking around for the madness does prove to her just that. Link to comment
Aquarian-Princess Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 she hates other women so no you two would so not get along Link to comment
Cecil de Volange Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 I'm a girl...who has trust issues and me and my boyfriend are working at it by him getting fed up and telling me that I am pushing him away and that he doesn't want to lose me this way...I guess the only way is to be direct to her (Wake up call). In a realtionship, love, respect and trust must exist without trust...the relationship is doom. ( Link to comment
Aquarian-Princess Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 by now i'd figure u ppl would realize that im his gf n everything u ppl say wont work on me Link to comment
Fallout Girl Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 This is how my relationship was with my boyfriend for the first few months. We have been together now for eight months and I am head over heals for this guy. How he got me to open up and trust him with who I really am was to be patient and percistent at the same time. He was constantly not only telling me how he felt, but also showing me everyday. And trust me, he got very frustrated with me sometimes. But I can't tell you how happy I am that he "weathered the storm". So if you guys really do feel the way about eachother that you say you do, just stick with it. Link to comment
Aquarian-Princess Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight Link to comment
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